First Post of 2012

What have we been up to?! Chaz and the girls are playing, playing, playing, him on his computer and the girls with all their friends. Me, well I am having a blast doing the things that I haven't had a chance to do in 2011.

I had a very long to do list to come home to in TN. I am proud to announce it is almost done! I didn't do anything when we first arrived because I just wanted to enjoy the holidays and my family in our home. I was just so thankful to be home in our home. But this week I am completing that list as fast as possible so I can truly enjoy the rest of our stay in home. Thanks to my friend Demetria's help, the girls' rooms are organized. I now don't have to keep shutting the doors so I don't have to look at the messes in there, every mom knows what I am talking about here. I told Demetria yesterday, that she has no idea how much she really helped. Thanks to her, I was able to get some other very important things done. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. I thank God everyday for her and for those tea parties when we were 4 years old!

I do thrive on organization. Yes I have a Type A personality. But I have not pulled out the label maker, oh man, if I had one.....hmmm...maybe I should go get one?! Sorry got a little side tracked. In three days, I have filled all three trash cans each week and it looks like I am continuing that trend this week. We pulled out 5 bags of donations from the girls' rooms. I shredded 3 bags of documents. I lost count on the bags of actual trash. I have one closet and one bathroom cabinet left and I am done. I am not touching the garage or Chaz's closet. Both of those will take forever. Like many other military personnel, Chaz has a closet that is just for his gear. I don't know what's what and I don't want him to deal with it. I want Chaz to just relax, relax, and relax here in TN. He is so busy in MD, he deserves a nice long break. To be flat out, I just don't feel like dealing with the garage. I can park our car in it and still walk around so we're good to go there. I did pitch a ton of things out when we first got home. His closet and the garage can wait until next time.

I have to say, it feels so incredibly great to have more of the little pieces of me back in my life. I gave so much of me away in 2011. I can't count how many times I looked at things and just said, "You'll just have to wait." So this week I am dealing with almost a year's worth of things that could just wait. All of this cleaning was way easier than I thought it would be. It's amazing what you can get rid of when you haven't used it and know you won't use it because you won't be home for a while. I can tell you 2011 taught me how to navigate through things very efficiently.

One thing is for sure, I am always humbled at how God works in your life if you just let your faith lead. Slowly I am getting all of the pieces of me back. Some of my pieces have been altered, that is for sure. Chaz and I think they were changed for the better. My skin is a little thicker and things don't hurt me as bad as they did before. I know now that words are sometimes just words. When people are hurting they say some really stupid stuff. When you hurt, you want others to hurt too so you feel better about you. I understand that, but I refuse to hurt others just because I am hurting. So I let God take those people back out of my life in his own time. To err is human, to forgive is Divine. To me forgiveness is so easy, it's the forgetting that is truly hard. As the days pass the forgetting comes a little easier. But fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I have really learned that lesson this year. You can hurt me once, but I will not give you the opportunity to do it again that is for sure.

I am also able to think more clearly and more efficiently because I know what truly matters now. Small stuff is just small stuff and I don't let it bother me anymore. It's amazing how coming so close to losing someone you love so much can truly alter your view of everything else. I am not thankful Chaz had to go through what he has gone through, but I am so thankful for all the lessons we have learned from it. The lessons I have learned are so important and are incredibly important lessons to share with our girls.

Ok enough procrastinating, I have a closet and a cabinet to clean out!!