This road has been so long and exhausting. It's been eighteen months of crazy with a dash of sane. No matter what has come our way, we have always tried to stay focused on that little dim light at the end of the tunnel. Since I feel like I am responsible for everything for our family, Chaz has to remind me again and again to not sweat the small stuff. I worry about the house in TN, the bills, the kids, their education, Chaz's healing, my sanity, and all the above sometimes all at the same time. I pray everyday for the patience to stay on the path God has laid out for us. Sometimes I ask multiple times a day.
I am a big fan of Joel Osteen. He constantly reminds us that God has great things in store for us. I'll never forget the last Joel book I read before Chaz was hurt. I remember the passage that said that what ever you are dreaming is not big enough, dream bigger because that's what God wants for you. Here's the thing though, I am not a dreamer. Nothing has been handed to me. I have worked hard for everything. I don't know any other path besides hard work. So this dreaming path is uncharted territory for me. I have dreams, but I'll confess I don't focus on them. I focus on hard work to achieve goals.
When you face such an exhaustively hard road of healing, it's so easy to forget that God loves you and wants you to succeed. We have walked in faith during this entire journey. It has not been easy at all. I tell people in our situation there is no easy button, there is only faith. You have to have faith that it will all be worth it. All the pain, exhaustion, tears that you endure in the storm will lead you to that rainbow. You just have to keep going.
I can't go into many details, but I am too excited to not share how incredibly blessed we feel right now. We have been focused on the dim light at the end of the tunnel for so very long. We were just cruising along and last week God hit us with a floodlight. This light was exactly what we needed. The floodlight came with some huge blessings. And I mean HUGE. The blessing is so huge that Chaz and I just didn't know how to react. I have cried once and been on the verge of tears many times. That's how awesome this is.
Unfortunately this floodlight also causes us to make some very important decisions. These decisions will greatly affect our four lives. I know we'll figure it all out. We'll figure out what is the best decision for us. We haven't rushed one decision on this journey since it all began and we won't start rushing now. One thing is for sure God is so great!!!