The first couple of times I was thanked for staying with Chaz, I thought to myself, you're kidding right?! You are thanking me for being with my husband, really?! I had no idea spouses, girlfriends and other family members abandoning these guys was an issue.That would because I was in my happy bubble again!
Sunday I was thanked again for staying by my hubby's side. Again it was a mother of a solider. Again I got to hear another horror story of how the wife couldn't take it. She said her son's wife almost made it four full weeks. She said that the wife would come in drunk and make fun of her son for being hurt and that she wiped out their bank accounts and that they have no idea where she is. She said that he is better off, but it will be a while before he realizes this. It never gets any easier to hear these stories.
This is not the first time (and I fear it will not be the last time) I have heard this story. Actually, I've heard stories like these several times. Once I had a mom come up to me at an event with tears in her eyes. She told me that I am a diamond in the rough. She said she had been watching me with Chaz and the kids and was just amazed at how amazing our family is. She said she couldn't believe how well behaved our girls are. She also said she was amazed at how I became Chaz's nurse once the alarm on his phone went off and I got up to give him his meds. She said thank you so much for staying with him and doing what is best for your family. At first I didn't know what to say. But I thanked her for her kind words and then asked how her son was doing. Then in our conversation I found out her soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law didn't make it one week. She said her son got over it a lot faster than she ever imagined and she doesn't know how he did it. She said I guess it wasn't true love. But she said the wife just said she couldn't handle it and she just left. The wife didn't ask for anything except the divorce. The mom said that made it so much easier. Then she was telling me some of the other horror stories she has heard from the other moms. She then went onto to say that moms size the wives up quick. She said there was a lot of talk about me. She said everyone admires that I am always smiling and always asking about the other guys. I am so glad that's what they talk about in regards to me.
We went on to talk about how there are moms and then there are wives and there's not a lot of bridging that gap. There's a lot of resentment. I have seen of this, but since I don't care who you are and what you do, so I've been able to bridge that gap. I'm going to be nice to you no matter what. You want to judge me behind my back, go right ahead, I have bigger problems to deal with.
We have become friends with a lot of moms and wives. But the moms tend to do the motherly thing and protect their sons, which is more than understandable. The wives tend to be the fighters, they seem to always be on the edge ready to pounce. Now there are some wives and moms who possess both traits. I think I possess both. I am very overprotective of my crew but I am also not afraid to fight at any time! It is said that some women here can't bridge that gap. Some don't want to talk to the moms because of what their own mom or mother-in-law treated them. And the moms don't want to be friends with the wives and girlfriends because of how their son's wife or girlfriend treated their son.
The bottom line is we ladies who are supporting the wounded warriors are freaking angry. We have to figure out how to put that anger aside and become friends. Instead we find ourselves building walls because we don't know who we can trust. The war on anger is not an easy war to win. I find myself angry all the time, but how can I not be. This journey is a constant battle. I fight with anger, pain, frustration and that's just some of the emotions. This doesn't include some of the other battles that we deal with everyday! But I always focus on the issue that I am angry with and not take it out on something or someone else. I don't see the anger going away anytime soon, but 99% of the time I can control and manage it. I am just so thankful for all these awesome people and organizations who are here to make life better. All of the blessings that have been given to us make everything so much easier.
I am also so thankful for such a kick ass husband. Chaz and I have been through hell and back. But you know what because we have each other we are able to carry on. We may be opposites but I guess you need those differences in order to get through all of this. We didn't realize how much we needed each other until Jan 22. This journey has been incredibly difficult, but I am so thankful that I am on this journey with him. God is great! He may put us in the middle of the storm, but He will always help us find a way out with faith, patience and time. I pray everyday that he too will bless these other families and they will find the blessings we have and that their road will also become a little easier.