I used to love this house!

I remember the day we bought this house. The house was just perfect. It needed some love and repairs, but it was great for us. We loved the neighborhood, loved the schools and the neighbors. Now those are the only things left that we love about this house.

Last night a big storm rolled through and I sprung right up. The girls were at a sleepover and so it was just me and Chaz. I immediately thought oh crap, what do I do if there's a tornado? I can't carry him and he can't run. Then I thought, crap what if there's a fire, I'll have the same problem. We have stairs and our bedroom is at the top of those stairs. Right now Chaz puts on his legs and climbs those stairs at night and stays on that level and then in the morning he puts his legs back on and comes down for the day. But I never considered what to do in an emergency. I have an emergency ladder upstairs in case of fire and we need to go out the window, but what will Chaz do. His right arm is fused and he cannot bare too much weight on it and he can't bend it. It truly bothers me that what used to be our home is now just an obstacle on our road to healing.

The day Chaz was injured I walked around the house and thought about how wide a wheelchair would be and realized that he could get around the bottom level with no problems. Then there's the stairs. Chaz calls stairs, "The cripple's kyrptonite" (his words, not mine). Before we came home the first time we talked about the stairs and quickly realised everyone we knew has stairs, so he was going to have to suck it up and get up those stairs. It's pretty phenomenal that he was just injured in January and he is going up and down the stairs everyday. It's great PT for him. Back in May I told him look we're staying in our home. You have a few choices, sleep on the couch, be carried up or walk. He said he was sleeping in his own bed and that he wasn't being carried. So then I said you better get to stepping! And he did and still is.

We are going to build a new house sometime soon. I do not know when. I know we are building in Clarksville TN. We are very happy here. We have great community support and we have no reason to leave. Plus we want to remain in a military community. As Chaz says, "We want to stay with our kind." We know here we don't have to start over. We know we have the support we need and it will be the easiest on the girls.

I have never wanted an easy button so bad in my life. I want to push that button and make this house transform into everything Chaz needs. I can live anywhere and I can make anything work, that is a lesson the Army has taught us. But Chaz's needs are different now and luckily the VA has all of those listed. They can help us make it easier, but we need to find land, a builder and all of the above. Then those people follow the VA's list to make it all work for Chaz. We know we are going to have to build from scratch, the VA reassured us of that one. They said it would be so much easier to start over, so that's what we'll do.

But for now we suck it up and deal with it. Thank goodness I am an overly positive person. Chaz says I have enough faith and positive energy to share. I can make lemonade out of any lemons. Right now this house is great for three out of four of us. The fourth one will not be defeated, he makes the world bend to him and if he can't I help do it for him. Things could be so much worse. We could have more stairs and the downstairs could be less open than it is and it would make it harder on him. In addition, the 101st made sure and put a ramp in for us so Chaz could get in and out more easily. This is now our temporary home and we will make it work for us until our permanent home is ready.

I have submitted an application with Home for Our Troops and we were nominated for an Extreme Home Makeover. I pray that one of those easy buttons comes through or something else along those lines works our for us. But I know God will take care of us. He will help us figure it all out in time. He has a plan and we will be patient and see how it all works out. Like I said I can make that lemonade, I just have to know how many lemons I am working with.