So many ask how we do it, so I am going to lay out what we do for our two cuties. I know what we do may not work for everyone, but hopefully it will help someone.
At first we were going to just homeschool them through local school system. However in all honesty, they made it too difficult and just didn't understand our family's needs at all back in the Fall of 2011. You can imagine it was extremely frustrating. But before I knew it great friends appeared with great advice and now we are a homeschooling success story!
First we registered with Homelife Academy. They keep our records, like grades and attendance, for us. Here's the link. http://www.homelifeacademy.com/ They have been wonderful and I highly recommend them. We enrolled in MTHEA for local support. Here's their link. http://www.mthea.org/ And we are also members of HSLDA. http://www.hslda.org The last one was a just in case we need it, we view HSLDA as homeschool insurance. They also have a lot of great resources too!
According to Tennessee laws, you have to must hold classes for 4 hours per day for 180 days within one 12 month period. We use a year round calendar that begins (this year) on July 15th. We will hold classes for 9 weeks and then we take off for 3 weeks (Fall Break), then back for 9, off for 4 (Christmas break), back for 9, off for 3 (Spring Break), back for 9 off for 6 (Summer Break). This is how our school year breaks down. If you look and see, you'll see we hold school on some federal holidays. This is not a big deal to us at all. We just make it work. We'd rather go straight through and enjoy the weeks off, rather than take a day off here and there.
Many people think that is hard to find things to fill up 4 hours a day, but actually it's very easy to occupy those hours every day. Our school days are Monday through Friday from 10am-2:30pm. Yes we usually let our girls sleep until they wake up, but we expect them to be up by 9am or we sound the alarm. They brush their teeth, get some breakfast and get ready for the day. We take 30 minutes for lunch in there somewhere. Then we finish getting our tasks done for the day.And we're done!!! Yes it really is that easy. And yes sometimes our school is from 2-6 or 10-12 then 4-6. We have to be flexible, but we try very hard to stick with the plan as many days as possible.
Here's a list of our resources that fill the 4 hours a day for the 2013-14 school year. I provide links to the resources following the titles.
Math U See http://www.mathusee.com/
Essentials in Writing http://www.essentialsinwriting.com/
Daily Geography and Daily Reading Comprehension http://www.evan-moor.com/
Real Science 4 Kids http://www.gravitaspublications.com/
A Child's History of the World http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/78783.Child_s_History_of_the_World
Those are our "textbooks" we buy for the girls. We also teach cursive writing, hold laboratory time, field trips and so much more. For example in our first quarter of the year, we are reading A Wrinkle in Time together as a family. We will watch the movie at home when we finish the book. We also plan to see the play at Nashville Children's Theater in September. Then we will be evil parents and make them write about the differences between the book, movie and play.
Our family handles our school year one quarter at a time. This is mainly because we never know what is going to happen in our lives. We have learned with our life we can never plan too far ahead! Many times we have had to take a week off during the 9 weeks and then take that week from break. In the end, we make sure the girls get their 180 days. Ah the life of healing a Hero.....you have your rough draft and some of the content makes it into the final draft. ;)
Many people panic at the price tags of the resources we use. I don't think we have paid full price ever for any of these. I frequently stalk eBay, amazon and several other places to save our family money. I take advantage of sales and discounts offered by Homelife Academy, MTHEA and HSLDA. I stock up on school supplies during the back to school sales. I also look for friends that will share books and resources with us. Chaz and I feel we have come out ahead financially and emotionally by homeschooling our girls. We are proof that any one can homeschool with a little guidance and support.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Jamming in June
Well making my mixed berry jelly is the one thing I have not done in June. I have no idea how I could have squeezed it in. This has been such a crazy busy month. Let me give you the Cliff Notes version (with pictures) of our June 2013.
We started June out in Florida with family celebrating my oldest niece's high school graduation.
Of course we had to sneak in a little beach time too!!
Yes our 10 year old is almost as tall as my 18 year old niece. ;)
We were home for less than ten days when we packed up again and flew to back to Bethesda. I went for work, Chaz went for legs. (Yes you read that correctly. More on that in a later post.)
We landed on Wednesday the 19th. Thursday was recital practice and I went to dinner to say "See you later" to three awesome Army wives that I have had the privilege of knowing over the years. Chaz and I pulled into the drive way at the same time as his Mom, sister, niece and nephew. They drove 13 hours to come up for a quick visit and see Ryann's recital.
Ry enjoyed getting help from big sister backstage at recital.
Daddy was quite proud of his dancing Stingray!
Of course recital was great, but boy was it exhausting. I had to take Saturday and Sunday to recover from all the go-go-go. The kids did not mind a fun in the water while I caught up on rest.
We loaded up for some Nashville fun on Monday. We treated the kids to a trip to build a bear and lunch at the mall. I was so happy to be a part of my niece and two nephews' first build a bear experience. It was so fun to see their faces as the reacted to the store.
Monday evening, Tuesday and Wednesday I crammed as much work in as possible so the girls and I could take a fun little Girls ONLY trip to St Louis. My fellow Army wives, my mom and I loaded up in two vehicles and surprised our cuties with a trip to the American Girl Store to see the premier of "Saige Paint the Sky" and several Saige activities. Can you believe American Girl does all these things for free? My goodness it was so worth the travel and hotel. The girls had such a great time.
My awesome Mom took the girls to the movie and my friends and I ran off to have some mommy time. I snuck in a interview with a newspaper for YRF and answered a bunch of emails during our time, but luckily I have great friends who are very understanding. (By the way, thanks again ladies.)
I was EXHAUSTED yesterday and to be honest was worthless, so I took the day off. Today I passed the Financial Counseling/Debt Management Exam. One more test and I have my AFC-Accredited Financial Counselor's license. You can say I ended the month on a very good note!
Boy did we have a TON of fun in June. I pleased to report July and August look to be a calm travel month. But with the way things go with us, who knows?! As long as it's fun we're in!!! ;)
We started June out in Florida with family celebrating my oldest niece's high school graduation.
Of course we had to sneak in a little beach time too!!
Yes our 10 year old is almost as tall as my 18 year old niece. ;)
We were home for less than ten days when we packed up again and flew to back to Bethesda. I went for work, Chaz went for legs. (Yes you read that correctly. More on that in a later post.)
We landed on Wednesday the 19th. Thursday was recital practice and I went to dinner to say "See you later" to three awesome Army wives that I have had the privilege of knowing over the years. Chaz and I pulled into the drive way at the same time as his Mom, sister, niece and nephew. They drove 13 hours to come up for a quick visit and see Ryann's recital.
Ry enjoyed getting help from big sister backstage at recital.
Daddy was quite proud of his dancing Stingray!
Of course recital was great, but boy was it exhausting. I had to take Saturday and Sunday to recover from all the go-go-go. The kids did not mind a fun in the water while I caught up on rest.
We loaded up for some Nashville fun on Monday. We treated the kids to a trip to build a bear and lunch at the mall. I was so happy to be a part of my niece and two nephews' first build a bear experience. It was so fun to see their faces as the reacted to the store.
Monday evening, Tuesday and Wednesday I crammed as much work in as possible so the girls and I could take a fun little Girls ONLY trip to St Louis. My fellow Army wives, my mom and I loaded up in two vehicles and surprised our cuties with a trip to the American Girl Store to see the premier of "Saige Paint the Sky" and several Saige activities. Can you believe American Girl does all these things for free? My goodness it was so worth the travel and hotel. The girls had such a great time.
My awesome Mom took the girls to the movie and my friends and I ran off to have some mommy time. I snuck in a interview with a newspaper for YRF and answered a bunch of emails during our time, but luckily I have great friends who are very understanding. (By the way, thanks again ladies.)
I was EXHAUSTED yesterday and to be honest was worthless, so I took the day off. Today I passed the Financial Counseling/Debt Management Exam. One more test and I have my AFC-Accredited Financial Counselor's license. You can say I ended the month on a very good note!
Boy did we have a TON of fun in June. I pleased to report July and August look to be a calm travel month. But with the way things go with us, who knows?! As long as it's fun we're in!!! ;)
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Caffeine and Cruise Control
This has been a rough week, heck this has been a rough couple of years. But this week I was able to process and download the over past two years of my life. The results: Two friends got to watch me cry on two separate occasions and Chaz got to watch me go into the ugly cry. It's been one of those weeks that you realize you are thankful for daily disposable contacts, because regular ones would have had to have been destroyed. This week I realized that since January 22, 2011 I have been living on caffeine and cruise control. I did what I had to do to get my family through all of this, but somewhere along the way pieces of me have fallen off and I had lost them. This week I got a small glimpse of them and it made me reflect on my life before and since Chaz's injury.
The day Chaz was injured, I went into survival mode. Once I received the call he was stable, I immediately went into robot mode. Then somewhere after that I just put myself on cruise control and consumed a ton of caffeine so I could hang on during this roller coaster ride. (Starbucks' brand Tazo organic Chai, concentrate, not bags. That's a very important detail. And no I don't live off of Starbucks. I buy it from grocery store and make my own. That saves a lot of money.)
For over two dozen months now my life has been back and forth to DC, dealing with surgery after surgery. I have held Chaz's hand during the ups and downs with medical and personal highs and lows. I have been forced into listening to people literally bark orders at me and try tell me what I should be doing even through they have NO idea what this journey is like. Throughout all of this turmoil, I have been trying to keep my sanity, trying to heal my husband, attempting to heal our family, trying to parent our girls when my hubby couldn't or just didn't have the energy to and trying to manage two households. I've done all of this while working my butt off for other families, only to be attacked by a few who were jealous they couldn't get things done. It has been a non-stop ride of insanity. I realized the other day that it truly is amazing I am not an alcoholic.
Before Chaz was injured, I was running my small tax business. I was a girl scout leader and highly involved in the community. I was working towards my EA and AFC. I also loved to bake, craft, read, scrapbook and was very rarely at home. OK the rarely at home part hasn't really changed. However I now don't have time to read (things I want to) or scrapbook. I really don't have time for me. By the time I hit the bed at night, I just pass out for 6-8 hours to get up and start again.
What started all of the tears? I have been purging our home. Chaz's pants and shoes are now all gone. The memories of his actual legs are only left in our pictures. He only needs shorts and his new legs come with shoes. Closets have been cleaned out of things we don't need and cannot use and to be honest it all has made me a little sad. Needless to say though, we will have one heck of a crazy yard sale this summer. In the past two years, I have been just cruising right along and I never had time to purge. At times, I felt our home looked like an episode of hoarders. Everyone who has seen it has assured me otherwise. But I don't like clutter at all. I thrive for organization. Yes I am OCD and it should be CDO, alphabetical like it's meant to be. ;)
Here's a picture I took of the inside of a bag I found in one of our closets. My family all met in Disney for Christmas 2010. I set this bag in my closet when we returned with the intentions of scrap booking some of the memories in here and letting the girls enjoy our Disney finds. I finally cleaned out this bag this week. I have no problems confessing all of this. (Mainly because there was no food in the bag. That would just be gross.) I know that other caregivers of wounded heroes have encountered the same thing. We put our lives on hold while we are healing our Heroes. My bag is pure evidence that I let it all go in order to heal my family.
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See the adorable Mickey ears? They made me smile and then cry. That was such a fun trip. That was the last fun adventure the girls and I had (Chaz was deployed) before he was hurt. Then the phone rang days later and everything changed for us.
Now that the Army has released its control over our lives, I am finally finding time to get things organized and efficient again. Basically I am purging our house of some of our pre-injury life and it's hard. Some days I really miss the way it was. Some days I miss the Army, not the WTB, the Army, there's a very big difference. I miss the melting pot of friends that we were blessed to encounter over the years. Most of our Army friends have moved or will move away this year. Now we are retired and are now treated like "second class citizens" as Chaz puts it. It's the little things like the Mickey ears that keep reminding me, it is time to begin our new life. It's time to clean out the old, no matter how many tears come. It's time to get on with this new civilian adventure that we'll make just as fun and fabulous.
It will be a while before I get back to the books that I really want to read and the crafts I want to make. I am planning some adventures for us. I am going to make sure we have as much fun as possible. Our girls will be grown before we know it. We have to enjoy them while we can.
The most important part is that I have now turned the cruise control off. I have cut back on the caffeine. I guess just need to have a massive purge and a few tears to get myself there.
The day Chaz was injured, I went into survival mode. Once I received the call he was stable, I immediately went into robot mode. Then somewhere after that I just put myself on cruise control and consumed a ton of caffeine so I could hang on during this roller coaster ride. (Starbucks' brand Tazo organic Chai, concentrate, not bags. That's a very important detail. And no I don't live off of Starbucks. I buy it from grocery store and make my own. That saves a lot of money.)
For over two dozen months now my life has been back and forth to DC, dealing with surgery after surgery. I have held Chaz's hand during the ups and downs with medical and personal highs and lows. I have been forced into listening to people literally bark orders at me and try tell me what I should be doing even through they have NO idea what this journey is like. Throughout all of this turmoil, I have been trying to keep my sanity, trying to heal my husband, attempting to heal our family, trying to parent our girls when my hubby couldn't or just didn't have the energy to and trying to manage two households. I've done all of this while working my butt off for other families, only to be attacked by a few who were jealous they couldn't get things done. It has been a non-stop ride of insanity. I realized the other day that it truly is amazing I am not an alcoholic.
Before Chaz was injured, I was running my small tax business. I was a girl scout leader and highly involved in the community. I was working towards my EA and AFC. I also loved to bake, craft, read, scrapbook and was very rarely at home. OK the rarely at home part hasn't really changed. However I now don't have time to read (things I want to) or scrapbook. I really don't have time for me. By the time I hit the bed at night, I just pass out for 6-8 hours to get up and start again.
What started all of the tears? I have been purging our home. Chaz's pants and shoes are now all gone. The memories of his actual legs are only left in our pictures. He only needs shorts and his new legs come with shoes. Closets have been cleaned out of things we don't need and cannot use and to be honest it all has made me a little sad. Needless to say though, we will have one heck of a crazy yard sale this summer. In the past two years, I have been just cruising right along and I never had time to purge. At times, I felt our home looked like an episode of hoarders. Everyone who has seen it has assured me otherwise. But I don't like clutter at all. I thrive for organization. Yes I am OCD and it should be CDO, alphabetical like it's meant to be. ;)
Here's a picture I took of the inside of a bag I found in one of our closets. My family all met in Disney for Christmas 2010. I set this bag in my closet when we returned with the intentions of scrap booking some of the memories in here and letting the girls enjoy our Disney finds. I finally cleaned out this bag this week. I have no problems confessing all of this. (Mainly because there was no food in the bag. That would just be gross.) I know that other caregivers of wounded heroes have encountered the same thing. We put our lives on hold while we are healing our Heroes. My bag is pure evidence that I let it all go in order to heal my family.
.JPG)
See the adorable Mickey ears? They made me smile and then cry. That was such a fun trip. That was the last fun adventure the girls and I had (Chaz was deployed) before he was hurt. Then the phone rang days later and everything changed for us.
Now that the Army has released its control over our lives, I am finally finding time to get things organized and efficient again. Basically I am purging our house of some of our pre-injury life and it's hard. Some days I really miss the way it was. Some days I miss the Army, not the WTB, the Army, there's a very big difference. I miss the melting pot of friends that we were blessed to encounter over the years. Most of our Army friends have moved or will move away this year. Now we are retired and are now treated like "second class citizens" as Chaz puts it. It's the little things like the Mickey ears that keep reminding me, it is time to begin our new life. It's time to clean out the old, no matter how many tears come. It's time to get on with this new civilian adventure that we'll make just as fun and fabulous.
It will be a while before I get back to the books that I really want to read and the crafts I want to make. I am planning some adventures for us. I am going to make sure we have as much fun as possible. Our girls will be grown before we know it. We have to enjoy them while we can.
The most important part is that I have now turned the cruise control off. I have cut back on the caffeine. I guess just need to have a massive purge and a few tears to get myself there.
Monday, May 27, 2013
The First and I Hope the Last.....
Many Americans are confused by Veterans Day and Memorial Day. I will admit in my younger days, I was confused as well. I'll admit before 9-11, Memorial Day was another day off from school or a reason to have a long weekend. I always participated in Memorial Day events, but I never really understood them until OIF and OEF entered my life.
Since Chaz has been injured, we have turned down many events that were on Memorial Day weekend where they wanted to honor Chaz's service. Chaz and I will not allow Chaz to be honored on this weekend. Chaz has Armed Forces Day, Veterans Day and everyday to be celebrated. Today is the day to remember those who served so valiantly, yet are no longer with us.
This is a picture of the bottom of my computer monitor. I spend a lot of time at my desk. Sometimes I like sitting here because of what I can get accomplished. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I have to walk away. I put these bracelets here as a daily reminder of how blessed I am to be here. I am reminded that I am blessed to be an American. And I am reminded that I am blessed to still have my soldier with me. I have these bracelets here to remind me of the sacrifices made by others so I can continue to enjoy my life. I have these here to remind me that I might be having a bad day, but it could always be worse.
We lost SFC McSwain June 8, 2006. We lost SGT McConnell March 18, 2013. In between these two Heroes, we have lost an additional 30 plus Heroes. I stopped counting in 2006. Yes it was in that one year we lost over 30 friends to OIF. Now we've lost friends to OIF, OEF, training accidents and invisible injuries. You look at the numbers and see statistics, I see faces and families. I want to take a second to reflect on two very personal losses. Mac was our first and I can only pray Derek is our last.
When I learned about Mac, I was shattered to my core. I was the first one of my Army friends to lose someone to combat. This was all new territory and I had to figure out the way all alone. The worst part of it was Chaz was still in Iraq and I had no idea if he knew and if he was ok. Chaz and Mac came to Ft Campbell together. They deployed to Kosovo together. They left Campbell together and returned to Campbell together. Mac's wife and I were not the closest of friends but we did have a few great moments together as our hubbies bonded during their service. I just didn't feel right invading her space upon hearing about Mac's passing. I just went to the memorial service instead. I could not imagine what she was going through and I wanted to be respectful of her privacy.
I'll never forget Mac's memorial. I sat with a friend just a few rows behind Mac's wife. When she put their new baby up on her shoulder and I went into the ugly cry. You know, the cannot control yourself, snot pouring out of your nose, sounds like you might be having an asthma attack cry. Their baby was just two months younger that our Ryann. Mac was just a few miles from Chaz when Mac was killed. So many thoughts ran through my head. Mac's service was the first time I had to deal with the Westboro people. That entire day was just horrible and I mean horrible. When Chaz called me a few days after Mac's service we had the one and only "during deployment" phone call that involved tears. I am a tough chick, but just hearing Chaz's voice after that service sent me into tears. Those tears were tears of reality. I realized that when you choose to marry a soldier you have to accept the horrible dose of reality that occasionally comes with it. That was a hard pill to swallow.
Fast forward through a few years and I realize we've lost so many. Chaz has told me more things about war then I ever wanted to know. I know too many stories of what happened to so many of his friends. I can see their faces and I have seen the families that are left behind.
That brings me to Derek. He literally stole my heart one day. He was such an amazing guy and he fought so hard. The day after Chaz's surgery, I get a call in the Starbucks drive thru that sent me into shaking. Let me assure you, I freaked the Starbucks people out with my shaky hands. The tears came when I got to Chaz's hospital room. I'll never understand how he could survive 2 IEDs, fight for 20 months and then his body just stop. It just doesn't make any sense.
Derek's mom entered my life thanks to facebook friends who wanted us to help them on this journey. I have so many great memories of Derek and those who love him. Derek stole my heart the day he asked us to be there when he stood up for the first time. I'll never forget him saying to me before that day, "You have to be there, you're like family now." What a great day that was and we were so blessed to be a part of it. I am so thankful for all the great stories I can tell people about Derek.
We didn't get to make it to Derek's memorial or service. Sadly Chaz was fighting another battle with bacteria. Not being there truly broke my heart. I was able to see Siobhan just after Derek's passing. But I wanted to be there that day to hug Siobhan and Krystina. I know they know we could not have gone with everything going on with Chaz. Knowing that they understand has never made it easier on me. I think about Derek all the time. When Ryann smiles it makes me think of her and Derek and them being silly about their mutual missing teeth. I think about Derek and how Chaz and Derek once decided if I took my tater tot casserole to war, I could end the whole thing. I think about Derek telling me about how excited he was about retirement and getting married and moving on with his life.
Chaz and I have lost Heroes to so many different circumstances. We've lost them to IEDs, snipers, training accidents and to me what is the most painful, the invisible injuries. No matter how we lose them, the loss never gets any easier. The only part that makes the loss any easier is seeing a glimpse of them every now and again in those who hold their memories so dear. I am so honored that I have memories of so many Heroes. I can only pray they are smiling down upon me today and I pray I am making them proud.
Today please take a moment to reflect on this day and it's true meaning. Think of our first and last losses, Mac and Derek. Also think of the thousands of other service members who have served, but are not with us today. Think about their loved ones who are the keepers of the Heroes. Please give thanks for the loved ones who not only keep the Heroes' memories alive but also for their willingness to share those memories with all of us. Please just take a minute to treasure the memories of Memorial Day.
Since Chaz has been injured, we have turned down many events that were on Memorial Day weekend where they wanted to honor Chaz's service. Chaz and I will not allow Chaz to be honored on this weekend. Chaz has Armed Forces Day, Veterans Day and everyday to be celebrated. Today is the day to remember those who served so valiantly, yet are no longer with us.
This is a picture of the bottom of my computer monitor. I spend a lot of time at my desk. Sometimes I like sitting here because of what I can get accomplished. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I have to walk away. I put these bracelets here as a daily reminder of how blessed I am to be here. I am reminded that I am blessed to be an American. And I am reminded that I am blessed to still have my soldier with me. I have these bracelets here to remind me of the sacrifices made by others so I can continue to enjoy my life. I have these here to remind me that I might be having a bad day, but it could always be worse.
We lost SFC McSwain June 8, 2006. We lost SGT McConnell March 18, 2013. In between these two Heroes, we have lost an additional 30 plus Heroes. I stopped counting in 2006. Yes it was in that one year we lost over 30 friends to OIF. Now we've lost friends to OIF, OEF, training accidents and invisible injuries. You look at the numbers and see statistics, I see faces and families. I want to take a second to reflect on two very personal losses. Mac was our first and I can only pray Derek is our last.
When I learned about Mac, I was shattered to my core. I was the first one of my Army friends to lose someone to combat. This was all new territory and I had to figure out the way all alone. The worst part of it was Chaz was still in Iraq and I had no idea if he knew and if he was ok. Chaz and Mac came to Ft Campbell together. They deployed to Kosovo together. They left Campbell together and returned to Campbell together. Mac's wife and I were not the closest of friends but we did have a few great moments together as our hubbies bonded during their service. I just didn't feel right invading her space upon hearing about Mac's passing. I just went to the memorial service instead. I could not imagine what she was going through and I wanted to be respectful of her privacy.
I'll never forget Mac's memorial. I sat with a friend just a few rows behind Mac's wife. When she put their new baby up on her shoulder and I went into the ugly cry. You know, the cannot control yourself, snot pouring out of your nose, sounds like you might be having an asthma attack cry. Their baby was just two months younger that our Ryann. Mac was just a few miles from Chaz when Mac was killed. So many thoughts ran through my head. Mac's service was the first time I had to deal with the Westboro people. That entire day was just horrible and I mean horrible. When Chaz called me a few days after Mac's service we had the one and only "during deployment" phone call that involved tears. I am a tough chick, but just hearing Chaz's voice after that service sent me into tears. Those tears were tears of reality. I realized that when you choose to marry a soldier you have to accept the horrible dose of reality that occasionally comes with it. That was a hard pill to swallow.
Fast forward through a few years and I realize we've lost so many. Chaz has told me more things about war then I ever wanted to know. I know too many stories of what happened to so many of his friends. I can see their faces and I have seen the families that are left behind.
That brings me to Derek. He literally stole my heart one day. He was such an amazing guy and he fought so hard. The day after Chaz's surgery, I get a call in the Starbucks drive thru that sent me into shaking. Let me assure you, I freaked the Starbucks people out with my shaky hands. The tears came when I got to Chaz's hospital room. I'll never understand how he could survive 2 IEDs, fight for 20 months and then his body just stop. It just doesn't make any sense.
Derek's mom entered my life thanks to facebook friends who wanted us to help them on this journey. I have so many great memories of Derek and those who love him. Derek stole my heart the day he asked us to be there when he stood up for the first time. I'll never forget him saying to me before that day, "You have to be there, you're like family now." What a great day that was and we were so blessed to be a part of it. I am so thankful for all the great stories I can tell people about Derek.
We didn't get to make it to Derek's memorial or service. Sadly Chaz was fighting another battle with bacteria. Not being there truly broke my heart. I was able to see Siobhan just after Derek's passing. But I wanted to be there that day to hug Siobhan and Krystina. I know they know we could not have gone with everything going on with Chaz. Knowing that they understand has never made it easier on me. I think about Derek all the time. When Ryann smiles it makes me think of her and Derek and them being silly about their mutual missing teeth. I think about Derek and how Chaz and Derek once decided if I took my tater tot casserole to war, I could end the whole thing. I think about Derek telling me about how excited he was about retirement and getting married and moving on with his life.
Chaz and I have lost Heroes to so many different circumstances. We've lost them to IEDs, snipers, training accidents and to me what is the most painful, the invisible injuries. No matter how we lose them, the loss never gets any easier. The only part that makes the loss any easier is seeing a glimpse of them every now and again in those who hold their memories so dear. I am so honored that I have memories of so many Heroes. I can only pray they are smiling down upon me today and I pray I am making them proud.
Today please take a moment to reflect on this day and it's true meaning. Think of our first and last losses, Mac and Derek. Also think of the thousands of other service members who have served, but are not with us today. Think about their loved ones who are the keepers of the Heroes. Please give thanks for the loved ones who not only keep the Heroes' memories alive but also for their willingness to share those memories with all of us. Please just take a minute to treasure the memories of Memorial Day.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
We Need Your Help and Why?!
So many of you are aware of our journey. Many of you have followed us through our ups and downs. Many of you are aware Chaz retired from the Army in January. We are finally moving forward with our lives, but we now need your help and perhaps help from a few of your friends or even friends of friends or golf buddies, gym friends, heck, who am I kidding, all of the above.
August 1, 2007, Chaz and I sold our first home and purchased a cute two story 1800 sq ft home within 15 minutes of Fort Campbell. We were able to mortgage our home for only $142,000 because it needed a lot of work done to it.
Chaz was at the NCO Academy at the time. He worked 15 days on, 4 days off for those first 2 years we were in our current home. During this time the girls were 2 and 5. I spent a lot of time at home with them. I took it upon myself to pull up all the carpet and lay the hardwood laminate. I tiled on the back splash in the kitchen. I changed all the light fixtures and door knobs and my honey done list goes on and on. You can for sure say we know the hard work involved in home ownership. But this was our home and I loved putting all the sweat equity into it.
The day Chaz was injured, I found myself in a trance walking around the house trying to figure out how he would get around our cute little two story colonial home that we both really liked. I knew there would be a lot of obstacles in his way. I remember someone asking me what I was doing walking around in my trance. I told them I was planning for Chaz to come home. I remember someone saying, "We've got time for that." I also remember snapping and saying, "I need a distraction, ok?!" At that moment I was waiting hours between phone calls with updates on Chaz's condition. I desperately needed to focus on something. That night I just cried because I knew this house was no longer suitable for our family. I knew we'd have to move out to move on with our lives. I loved this house because we had put so much time and effort into it. But I knew in order for our family to move on and live happily ever after a new house would have to be built.
In May 2011, we made plans to bring Chaz home for the first time. I was amazed at all the people who wanted to help. We were blessed by a cleaning crew for both inside and out. CSM St Louis had our ramp installed at the front door. Chaz's Nurse Case Manager, Colonel Crum, had all of his adaptive equipment sent in front of us. The day after we arrived home Colonel Crum called to see what we needed. I told him lifting Chaz's chair up and down our stairs was interesting. Crum ordered me a wheel chair for the upstairs. Crum worried about me getting hurt carrying the chair up and down the stairs everyday twice a day. (Funny story, I got hurt a few times before that chair arrived.)
Fast forward to now. We are still here. We love this house. Chaz's jokes all the time about how he lives in a "Cripple's Nightmare." It's so true. All of our bedrooms and full bathrooms are upstairs. Chaz either walks or scoots down the stairs once he is up and showered for the day. He spends his day on the lower level. On our bottom level he bumps into transitions that are between the rooms. He has to use a kitchen chair to transfer onto the toilet because normal adaptive devices don't fit into the "toilet closet" (as he refers to it). If they do fit, the bench is not wide enough to support him. (Remember he's a big boy.) He cannot reach anything in the cabinets because they are too high. The sink is also too high and then too deep, so when he helps me wash the dishes he gets a pretty good wash himself. He cannot go into the back yard to play with our girls. The back door leads to a deck that has a big step down and the 3 steps down to get to the yard. He also cannot get to the back through the gate because of the hill on the side and then the ground itself. Basically Chaz is trapped in his house and is dependent on the girls and I to make it accessible for him as he needs. Let me assure you, I have done everything I can think of to make this house work for him for now. Due to his recent bout of shingles and then the back surgery, Chaz is having a hard time wearing his legs. So if he can't access it by wheeling or scooting it "ain't happening". Which means this house is even worse for him right now.
So what have we done about all of this? First we contacted a non-profit for help. Helping A Hero has agreed to help us. You can learn more about them at http://www.helpingahero.org/ Chaz and I are putting in a $50,000 mortgage and his $64,000 grant from the VA. Helping A Hero has pledged another $100,000. So we have $214,000 to start with. It's one heck of a start, but we'll need more.
Chaz's adaptive bathroom costs $40,000 minimum and seriously that's just for basic needs. Chaz needs special doorways, lower cabinets and so on. When you start looking it all it is so intimidating. The book from the VA is about 100 pages thick. We have to complete all the tasks in the book in order to receive the $64,000. No, I am not kidding. Hello it's the government, they don't just write checks without hoops. I will say our SAH (special adaptive housing) Representative has been awesome. He has gone the extra mile to help ensure we check all those boxes. Here's a link to the FAQ sheet on the VA SAH grant so you can learn more. http://www.benefits.va.gov/homeloans/documents/docs/part1_va_pamphlet_26_jrd_edits_doc.pdf Question 13 (begins on page 4) lists the most important things that must be done for Chaz to receive the grant. Please remember this is just the cliff notes version of the SAH grant.
Donna Campbell, our realtor (and my 3rd and 4th grade music teacher), helped kick off our journey to our Happily Ever After when she helped us get our land in McMinnville, Tennessee. Our builder is Elaine Rains Construction and she has been a huge advocate for us. County Commissioner John Pelham held a meeting and got the county to wave all the charges for the fees and permits. Elaine just has to file the papers for us.
We are getting there, but we need still everything from shelves to shingles from HVAC to hardware from plumping to pipes. So a few friends are trying to help us out. You can visit http://www.ourheroshomecoming.com/ or http://www.gofundme.com/NEVER-QUIT to see what they are doing for us. Operation Ward 57 has gotten involved in another way too. https://www.niceshirt.org/campaigns/index.php/military/opward57/chaz-allen.html So you can see you have multiple ways of getting involved. It's quite awesome!!
So how can you help?! You see the links above. Of course money is always the easy answer, but we need supplies and labor too. Do you know someone who would donate shingles or roofing supplies? Do you know someone who would donate flooring? Do you know a professional who would volunteer or deeply discount their time to help us? We need it all.
Don't think you can help. $5 buys those electrical plate covers. $5 buys a few tiles. We can make $5 go somewhere, trust me. We will be thankful for any and everything.
Chaz's house will cost around $300,000 minimum. This figure is excluding the land cost. I know a few have questioned the cost. I can assure you we took the plans we were given and with the advice of our builder, we looked for every way to save money and cut costs. We lowered the ceilings, opted to not put in a fireplace, removed decorative pitches from the roof and a few other little things that will save money. In addition, we have 10 boxes of tile, a shower system and a ceiling fan that I found when cleaning our garage that will be put into the new home.
A few people have said to build up, not out. Keep in mind if we were to build up then Chaz would need an elevator to access the entire house. An elevator would be expensive to put in and I cannot imagine the maintenance bill on that. We realize it is cheaper to build up, rather than build out in a normal situation. However this house is for Chaz and he needs it to be able to fully accessible to everything. So we need to build out not up.
I know a few have disagreed with Chaz having a house bigger than we currently own. I invite the critics to please come visit our current home and follow Chaz around for a day. Watch him have to sit at the back door and watch his girls play because he can't get to his back yard. Watch him pull himself or walk up the ramp to get inside. Watch him roll over the transitions and try to not fall out of his chair onto the tile in the kitchen. I have to laugh at the critics who see the cost and think Chaz is getting some elaborate mansion. We are seriously going with only Chaz's needs and that is the proposed cost with all of his needs factored in. We are not building a home for an average "leg walker." We are building a forever home for a wounded Hero. Please keep that in mind when you are criticizing what we are doing. Please also know we have the plans that have been and will be used in other homes for other Heroes. Please keep in mind that our home is within the standards of many, many other Heroes and their homes. Heck we took a few frills out just to save money and still the critics come. We can happily provide links to the other heroes who are in the same situation and also need your help.
Please consider what you can do to help families like ours heal and move on with our Happily Ever After. Every little bit helps and most importantly pray that we can get all this done sooner than later. THANK YOU!!!!
August 1, 2007, Chaz and I sold our first home and purchased a cute two story 1800 sq ft home within 15 minutes of Fort Campbell. We were able to mortgage our home for only $142,000 because it needed a lot of work done to it.
Chaz was at the NCO Academy at the time. He worked 15 days on, 4 days off for those first 2 years we were in our current home. During this time the girls were 2 and 5. I spent a lot of time at home with them. I took it upon myself to pull up all the carpet and lay the hardwood laminate. I tiled on the back splash in the kitchen. I changed all the light fixtures and door knobs and my honey done list goes on and on. You can for sure say we know the hard work involved in home ownership. But this was our home and I loved putting all the sweat equity into it.
The day Chaz was injured, I found myself in a trance walking around the house trying to figure out how he would get around our cute little two story colonial home that we both really liked. I knew there would be a lot of obstacles in his way. I remember someone asking me what I was doing walking around in my trance. I told them I was planning for Chaz to come home. I remember someone saying, "We've got time for that." I also remember snapping and saying, "I need a distraction, ok?!" At that moment I was waiting hours between phone calls with updates on Chaz's condition. I desperately needed to focus on something. That night I just cried because I knew this house was no longer suitable for our family. I knew we'd have to move out to move on with our lives. I loved this house because we had put so much time and effort into it. But I knew in order for our family to move on and live happily ever after a new house would have to be built.
In May 2011, we made plans to bring Chaz home for the first time. I was amazed at all the people who wanted to help. We were blessed by a cleaning crew for both inside and out. CSM St Louis had our ramp installed at the front door. Chaz's Nurse Case Manager, Colonel Crum, had all of his adaptive equipment sent in front of us. The day after we arrived home Colonel Crum called to see what we needed. I told him lifting Chaz's chair up and down our stairs was interesting. Crum ordered me a wheel chair for the upstairs. Crum worried about me getting hurt carrying the chair up and down the stairs everyday twice a day. (Funny story, I got hurt a few times before that chair arrived.)
Fast forward to now. We are still here. We love this house. Chaz's jokes all the time about how he lives in a "Cripple's Nightmare." It's so true. All of our bedrooms and full bathrooms are upstairs. Chaz either walks or scoots down the stairs once he is up and showered for the day. He spends his day on the lower level. On our bottom level he bumps into transitions that are between the rooms. He has to use a kitchen chair to transfer onto the toilet because normal adaptive devices don't fit into the "toilet closet" (as he refers to it). If they do fit, the bench is not wide enough to support him. (Remember he's a big boy.) He cannot reach anything in the cabinets because they are too high. The sink is also too high and then too deep, so when he helps me wash the dishes he gets a pretty good wash himself. He cannot go into the back yard to play with our girls. The back door leads to a deck that has a big step down and the 3 steps down to get to the yard. He also cannot get to the back through the gate because of the hill on the side and then the ground itself. Basically Chaz is trapped in his house and is dependent on the girls and I to make it accessible for him as he needs. Let me assure you, I have done everything I can think of to make this house work for him for now. Due to his recent bout of shingles and then the back surgery, Chaz is having a hard time wearing his legs. So if he can't access it by wheeling or scooting it "ain't happening". Which means this house is even worse for him right now.
So what have we done about all of this? First we contacted a non-profit for help. Helping A Hero has agreed to help us. You can learn more about them at http://www.helpingahero.org/ Chaz and I are putting in a $50,000 mortgage and his $64,000 grant from the VA. Helping A Hero has pledged another $100,000. So we have $214,000 to start with. It's one heck of a start, but we'll need more.
Chaz's adaptive bathroom costs $40,000 minimum and seriously that's just for basic needs. Chaz needs special doorways, lower cabinets and so on. When you start looking it all it is so intimidating. The book from the VA is about 100 pages thick. We have to complete all the tasks in the book in order to receive the $64,000. No, I am not kidding. Hello it's the government, they don't just write checks without hoops. I will say our SAH (special adaptive housing) Representative has been awesome. He has gone the extra mile to help ensure we check all those boxes. Here's a link to the FAQ sheet on the VA SAH grant so you can learn more. http://www.benefits.va.gov/homeloans/documents/docs/part1_va_pamphlet_26_jrd_edits_doc.pdf Question 13 (begins on page 4) lists the most important things that must be done for Chaz to receive the grant. Please remember this is just the cliff notes version of the SAH grant.
Donna Campbell, our realtor (and my 3rd and 4th grade music teacher), helped kick off our journey to our Happily Ever After when she helped us get our land in McMinnville, Tennessee. Our builder is Elaine Rains Construction and she has been a huge advocate for us. County Commissioner John Pelham held a meeting and got the county to wave all the charges for the fees and permits. Elaine just has to file the papers for us.
We are getting there, but we need still everything from shelves to shingles from HVAC to hardware from plumping to pipes. So a few friends are trying to help us out. You can visit http://www.ourheroshomecoming.com/ or http://www.gofundme.com/NEVER-QUIT to see what they are doing for us. Operation Ward 57 has gotten involved in another way too. https://www.niceshirt.org/campaigns/index.php/military/opward57/chaz-allen.html So you can see you have multiple ways of getting involved. It's quite awesome!!
So how can you help?! You see the links above. Of course money is always the easy answer, but we need supplies and labor too. Do you know someone who would donate shingles or roofing supplies? Do you know someone who would donate flooring? Do you know a professional who would volunteer or deeply discount their time to help us? We need it all.
Don't think you can help. $5 buys those electrical plate covers. $5 buys a few tiles. We can make $5 go somewhere, trust me. We will be thankful for any and everything.
Chaz's house will cost around $300,000 minimum. This figure is excluding the land cost. I know a few have questioned the cost. I can assure you we took the plans we were given and with the advice of our builder, we looked for every way to save money and cut costs. We lowered the ceilings, opted to not put in a fireplace, removed decorative pitches from the roof and a few other little things that will save money. In addition, we have 10 boxes of tile, a shower system and a ceiling fan that I found when cleaning our garage that will be put into the new home.
A few people have said to build up, not out. Keep in mind if we were to build up then Chaz would need an elevator to access the entire house. An elevator would be expensive to put in and I cannot imagine the maintenance bill on that. We realize it is cheaper to build up, rather than build out in a normal situation. However this house is for Chaz and he needs it to be able to fully accessible to everything. So we need to build out not up.
I know a few have disagreed with Chaz having a house bigger than we currently own. I invite the critics to please come visit our current home and follow Chaz around for a day. Watch him have to sit at the back door and watch his girls play because he can't get to his back yard. Watch him pull himself or walk up the ramp to get inside. Watch him roll over the transitions and try to not fall out of his chair onto the tile in the kitchen. I have to laugh at the critics who see the cost and think Chaz is getting some elaborate mansion. We are seriously going with only Chaz's needs and that is the proposed cost with all of his needs factored in. We are not building a home for an average "leg walker." We are building a forever home for a wounded Hero. Please keep that in mind when you are criticizing what we are doing. Please also know we have the plans that have been and will be used in other homes for other Heroes. Please keep in mind that our home is within the standards of many, many other Heroes and their homes. Heck we took a few frills out just to save money and still the critics come. We can happily provide links to the other heroes who are in the same situation and also need your help.
Please consider what you can do to help families like ours heal and move on with our Happily Ever After. Every little bit helps and most importantly pray that we can get all this done sooner than later. THANK YOU!!!!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Let Me Tell You About This One...
Yesterday Brian was kind enough to share the second story TF1 did on our family. I love this video and let me tell you why....
Despite all the criticism, I waited almost two months to take the girls to see Chaz. Since day one of this journey, I have found myself thinking about how they must feel. It's no secret I have sheltered our girls as much as possible. I think any mother wearing my shoes would.
Thanks to the nurses in Germany, I knew what Chaz would look like when I saw him. I was incredibly scared to see him for the first time. I knew it would be pretty bad and I just couldn't contemplate letting our little girls, who were 5 and 8 at the time, see him in that state. I took off to Walter Reed in DC on January 26, 2011 and left the girls with my Mom.
I knew the right thing to do was see to Chaz and assess the situation before bringing the girls in. I knew his mental state was excellent and I needed him to help me make the right choices. The decisions that we had to make were horrible. There was not one easy choice during the first few months of our journey. Heck who am I kidding, we haven't had an easy choice this entire journey. I knew had to keep our family apart for a while in order to do what was best, so I did. Chaz didn't like this decision anymore than I did, but we agreed that was what had to be done.
We had decided in January to bring the girls up to see him on their Spring Break. We worked so hard with our medical team, OT, PT, social worker and child psychologist to put a reunion plan together. Chaz decided he wanted to be tube free before seeing the girls. We thought the fewer the tubes, the less frightened they would be. Chaz and his team made that happen. He was down to a only PICC line when the girls saw him.
In the meantime, every Wednesday I was in Reagan National and Nashville International Airports switching off between Chaz and the girls and it sucked. One Wednesday I would get up, take the girls to school, catch my plane and be with Chaz by lunch. Then I'd spend a week with him, have lunch with him, and that Wednesday and catch an afternoon flight and be with the girls by dinner time. This went on from January 26 to May something. Thanks to Hero Miles, I was able to make our plan work and not drain our emergency fund.
Each step of the way I was criticized by family, friends, medical staff and strangers for our decision to keep them away from each other. It was our decision, not my decision. Yes I came up with the plan, but Chaz and I decided together that this was what the girls needed. However all of the blame fell on me. I was labeled as a horrible person for being so selfish and keeping Chaz from his girls and for keeping the girls from their Dad. People forgot that the Army kept Chaz away from his girls for over half of their lives. People failed to realized we were raising Infantry daughters. Our girls were thrilled that they could call their Daddy now. They had never had that option before. Not seeing Dad was truly just another day to them. Not seeing him so early on, kept their worries to a minimum. These details were not factoring into the critics minds. No instead they saw a guy with no legs and a woman keeping his daughters from him.
Somehow I blocked them all out. I put myself in a "heal my family" tunnel. All I cared about was Chaz's opinion. He didn't want the girls to see him in the state he was in. He confided all of his feelings in me and as his wife it was my job to make sure his wishes were carried out. So many people somehow felt like they knew what to do in my situation. It was a hard eight weeks of back and forth. Very few people gave a crap about the weight I was carrying. Very few cared about the fact that I was wearing myself out to make it all work. Instead the people who should have cared and listened just kept piling their doubts and criticisms on my back. I remember the day when I seriously felt like I was drowning. I wanted to give up. I was literally in the hallway of Hell. The only problem was I didn't have time to break down. The three loves of my life needed me. So instead I put my big girl panties on and literally told a few people to f-off. (It felt pretty great, by the way.)
On March 20, 2011, our little family was reunited for the first time post injury. We were reunited in the living room of the Fisher House we stayed at while at WRAMC. You'll see in the video that I had to give the girls another little pep talk in the car. I wanted to remind them of what they would see. You'll see the girls and I rush in and you'll see me tear up. Those tears are a part of this beautiful moment where I realized that Chaz and I are one heck of a team. I realized that all the critics can just kiss my ass. I realized that only those three people in that room at that moment were all that mattered. The smiles on our little girls' faces told me that Chaz and I had made all the right choices.
On March 21, 2011, Chaz stood up for the first time. Michel and Gilles captured this moment for us as well. You'll see Michel try to talk to me, but I couldn't talk. I was just so thankful. I was thankful for technology and medicine that was helping to heal my family. I was thankful for so many things that made that moment possible. Words cannot express how thankful we are to Hero Miles and the Fisher House Foundation for all they have done to help us make the moments on this video possible. I was just swallowed by the blessings the Lord had given us and couldn't help but cry.
I hope you enjoy my behind the scenes thoughts. I'd get some tissues ready if I were you, I needed them. Here's the link...https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4764930929272
Thanks again to Brian for sharing these videos! I am thankful that someone else thinks stories like ours need to be told!
Despite all the criticism, I waited almost two months to take the girls to see Chaz. Since day one of this journey, I have found myself thinking about how they must feel. It's no secret I have sheltered our girls as much as possible. I think any mother wearing my shoes would.
Thanks to the nurses in Germany, I knew what Chaz would look like when I saw him. I was incredibly scared to see him for the first time. I knew it would be pretty bad and I just couldn't contemplate letting our little girls, who were 5 and 8 at the time, see him in that state. I took off to Walter Reed in DC on January 26, 2011 and left the girls with my Mom.
I knew the right thing to do was see to Chaz and assess the situation before bringing the girls in. I knew his mental state was excellent and I needed him to help me make the right choices. The decisions that we had to make were horrible. There was not one easy choice during the first few months of our journey. Heck who am I kidding, we haven't had an easy choice this entire journey. I knew had to keep our family apart for a while in order to do what was best, so I did. Chaz didn't like this decision anymore than I did, but we agreed that was what had to be done.
We had decided in January to bring the girls up to see him on their Spring Break. We worked so hard with our medical team, OT, PT, social worker and child psychologist to put a reunion plan together. Chaz decided he wanted to be tube free before seeing the girls. We thought the fewer the tubes, the less frightened they would be. Chaz and his team made that happen. He was down to a only PICC line when the girls saw him.
In the meantime, every Wednesday I was in Reagan National and Nashville International Airports switching off between Chaz and the girls and it sucked. One Wednesday I would get up, take the girls to school, catch my plane and be with Chaz by lunch. Then I'd spend a week with him, have lunch with him, and that Wednesday and catch an afternoon flight and be with the girls by dinner time. This went on from January 26 to May something. Thanks to Hero Miles, I was able to make our plan work and not drain our emergency fund.
Each step of the way I was criticized by family, friends, medical staff and strangers for our decision to keep them away from each other. It was our decision, not my decision. Yes I came up with the plan, but Chaz and I decided together that this was what the girls needed. However all of the blame fell on me. I was labeled as a horrible person for being so selfish and keeping Chaz from his girls and for keeping the girls from their Dad. People forgot that the Army kept Chaz away from his girls for over half of their lives. People failed to realized we were raising Infantry daughters. Our girls were thrilled that they could call their Daddy now. They had never had that option before. Not seeing Dad was truly just another day to them. Not seeing him so early on, kept their worries to a minimum. These details were not factoring into the critics minds. No instead they saw a guy with no legs and a woman keeping his daughters from him.
Somehow I blocked them all out. I put myself in a "heal my family" tunnel. All I cared about was Chaz's opinion. He didn't want the girls to see him in the state he was in. He confided all of his feelings in me and as his wife it was my job to make sure his wishes were carried out. So many people somehow felt like they knew what to do in my situation. It was a hard eight weeks of back and forth. Very few people gave a crap about the weight I was carrying. Very few cared about the fact that I was wearing myself out to make it all work. Instead the people who should have cared and listened just kept piling their doubts and criticisms on my back. I remember the day when I seriously felt like I was drowning. I wanted to give up. I was literally in the hallway of Hell. The only problem was I didn't have time to break down. The three loves of my life needed me. So instead I put my big girl panties on and literally told a few people to f-off. (It felt pretty great, by the way.)
On March 20, 2011, our little family was reunited for the first time post injury. We were reunited in the living room of the Fisher House we stayed at while at WRAMC. You'll see in the video that I had to give the girls another little pep talk in the car. I wanted to remind them of what they would see. You'll see the girls and I rush in and you'll see me tear up. Those tears are a part of this beautiful moment where I realized that Chaz and I are one heck of a team. I realized that all the critics can just kiss my ass. I realized that only those three people in that room at that moment were all that mattered. The smiles on our little girls' faces told me that Chaz and I had made all the right choices.
On March 21, 2011, Chaz stood up for the first time. Michel and Gilles captured this moment for us as well. You'll see Michel try to talk to me, but I couldn't talk. I was just so thankful. I was thankful for technology and medicine that was helping to heal my family. I was thankful for so many things that made that moment possible. Words cannot express how thankful we are to Hero Miles and the Fisher House Foundation for all they have done to help us make the moments on this video possible. I was just swallowed by the blessings the Lord had given us and couldn't help but cry.
I hope you enjoy my behind the scenes thoughts. I'd get some tissues ready if I were you, I needed them. Here's the link...https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4764930929272
Thanks again to Brian for sharing these videos! I am thankful that someone else thinks stories like ours need to be told!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Just to Clear Things Up......
This video is circulating around right now, (I should say again). https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4756117228935 I will warn you now it is graphic. I would not suggest the weak stomached or small children watch it at all.
I just wanted to take a few minutes and answer a few questions. Here's what has been asked.....
Is that Chaz? Yup! It's him. You can see the legs and elbow that we all miss terribly. ;)
Am I ok? Yup I am totally fine. We have seen it a few times and we have copies of both pieces TF-1 did in 2011.
Did we know about it? Yes and we signed papers and gave our full permission.
Why would we allow it? War is real. Injuries are real. You do not get any more real than this. Michele (reporter) and Gilles (cameraman) were able to capture exactly what happened to Chaz. We feel they did an excellent job and others need to see the reality of the situation. Chaz and I are thankful for the footage. We were able to have a lot of questions answered.
Are we upset with the French or TF-1? No, we are not upset at all. The people of France have been beyond supportive of us. We have a standing invitation to visit the country as soon as Chaz is up to it. We hope to cross the ocean in 2014.
Have the girls seen it? No the girls have not seen it. We hope they don't see it until they are ready for it. We are thankful that when they are ready for it we can show them how heroic their Daddy was on the battlefield.
Does the Army know about this? Yes, the reporter and cameraman were embedded with the guys at the time. There is a second piece which was filmed at Walter Reed. All permissions for that one were obtained as well.
How can I watch it? It's my husband and I wanted to know everything. I have all of the answers I needed by watching this. The only part that bothers me if when Chaz yells, "Medic." I want to jump into the screen and save him. I can hear the pain in his voice. Every time I watch it, I get sick to my stomach because I couldn't save him.
Do I have nightmares from this? I have in the past, but not recently. Chaz and I are very thankful though that we know exactly who did what when and how to get Chaz home. This video actually created a dialog between not only Chaz and I, but also between the guys that were with him and I as well.
Does it bother me that it's circulating? Nope it doesn't bother me one bit. What does bother me are the stupid comments people made on the youtube link. Chaz has banned me from looking at that page. So I don't.
Is Chaz barking orders? Yes Chaz is not only barking orders he is also calling in for his own bird with his one good arm. I don't think this clip shows Doc yelling at Chaz to "Shut up and be a casualty." TF-1 provided us with additional footage and I can't remember if that made it in this one or not. But oh did I laugh when that was shouted at my hubby.
Is he moving his arm? Yes he was moving his right arm. Now you can see why I fought so hard with him to keep it. He remembered moving it and knew it was viable.
Was anyone else hurt? No one else that day was visibly injured. I can tell you they all were invisibly injured. Some have already come to grips with it and some have not. That was a tough day that had numerous ripple effects. When you watch the video you can understand why.
I am sure you have additional questions to ask. I can do my best to answer them. I just wanted to get this out there to let you know that we know about it. And more importantly you need to know we are ok with it. You might not understand how we are comfortable with the video. Here's the best way to look at it. You know the real ending and that ending is truly a Happy Ever After.....
I just wanted to take a few minutes and answer a few questions. Here's what has been asked.....
Is that Chaz? Yup! It's him. You can see the legs and elbow that we all miss terribly. ;)
Am I ok? Yup I am totally fine. We have seen it a few times and we have copies of both pieces TF-1 did in 2011.
Did we know about it? Yes and we signed papers and gave our full permission.
Why would we allow it? War is real. Injuries are real. You do not get any more real than this. Michele (reporter) and Gilles (cameraman) were able to capture exactly what happened to Chaz. We feel they did an excellent job and others need to see the reality of the situation. Chaz and I are thankful for the footage. We were able to have a lot of questions answered.
Are we upset with the French or TF-1? No, we are not upset at all. The people of France have been beyond supportive of us. We have a standing invitation to visit the country as soon as Chaz is up to it. We hope to cross the ocean in 2014.
Have the girls seen it? No the girls have not seen it. We hope they don't see it until they are ready for it. We are thankful that when they are ready for it we can show them how heroic their Daddy was on the battlefield.
Does the Army know about this? Yes, the reporter and cameraman were embedded with the guys at the time. There is a second piece which was filmed at Walter Reed. All permissions for that one were obtained as well.
How can I watch it? It's my husband and I wanted to know everything. I have all of the answers I needed by watching this. The only part that bothers me if when Chaz yells, "Medic." I want to jump into the screen and save him. I can hear the pain in his voice. Every time I watch it, I get sick to my stomach because I couldn't save him.
Do I have nightmares from this? I have in the past, but not recently. Chaz and I are very thankful though that we know exactly who did what when and how to get Chaz home. This video actually created a dialog between not only Chaz and I, but also between the guys that were with him and I as well.
Does it bother me that it's circulating? Nope it doesn't bother me one bit. What does bother me are the stupid comments people made on the youtube link. Chaz has banned me from looking at that page. So I don't.
Is Chaz barking orders? Yes Chaz is not only barking orders he is also calling in for his own bird with his one good arm. I don't think this clip shows Doc yelling at Chaz to "Shut up and be a casualty." TF-1 provided us with additional footage and I can't remember if that made it in this one or not. But oh did I laugh when that was shouted at my hubby.
Is he moving his arm? Yes he was moving his right arm. Now you can see why I fought so hard with him to keep it. He remembered moving it and knew it was viable.
Was anyone else hurt? No one else that day was visibly injured. I can tell you they all were invisibly injured. Some have already come to grips with it and some have not. That was a tough day that had numerous ripple effects. When you watch the video you can understand why.
I am sure you have additional questions to ask. I can do my best to answer them. I just wanted to get this out there to let you know that we know about it. And more importantly you need to know we are ok with it. You might not understand how we are comfortable with the video. Here's the best way to look at it. You know the real ending and that ending is truly a Happy Ever After.....
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