Yesterday I took the girls to the Yellow Ribbon Fund pool day. They had to say good-bye to Demetria and Ray also. I had to come back for a little bit to the apartment to be interviewed for a family resilience study. When I went back to get them they of course didn't want to leave. I swear those girls are part fish.
As we drove into the parking garage, Deryn had another breakdown. She was asking me about the new house that we're going to have to build during the entire drive to the apartment. I told her that the answers are still I don't know. Well she said she wanted to know and I told her that Daddy and I did too. The truth is I don't know. I don't know where we're going to build our new home. I don't know when. I don't know who. I don't know anything. But I think Deryn is tired of I don't know and so am I, but it's all I've got right now. Well wait, we plan to build in Tennessee. So I guess that's something, huh?!
Now some of it was that she was tired from swimming. And I think some of it was that De and Ray had left. De and Ray are like family to us now. We all enjoyed them being with us. I also think that since her friends here are all on vacation she's not getting her social butterfly needs filled. I also think she had so much fun with my mom and her friends and she misses that. So I think it was a culmination of things plus she's almost 10.
Deryn gets out of the van crying. Group hugs were involved all the way up to the apartment. While walking down the hallway, Ryann chimes in and says, "Sissy, when Daddy's legs go back the Army will finally let us go home." Deryn says, "His legs are not growing back. Mom does this mean we're not going back home?" And we have more tears here. Chaz was waiting for us in the living room and heard pieces of our conversation. Now I am thinking oh gees, what if strangers heard us talking. Well that's interesting. Oh well, moving on.
Enter the family discussion. Somewhere in the past few weeks Ryann actually thought Chaz's legs were growing back and we had to clear that up. Then came my favorite from Ryann, "Daddy, did you have legs when Rex died?" Rex was our fish and he died two years ago. You could see Ry's brain is really trying to figure this all out. God bless her she was only 5 when all this fun began. Now that she's a little older she understands a little more. And now she is trying to develop a Daddy/legs timeline.
Deryn is just ready to be done with all of this back and forth. She made it clear she wants to be in Tennessee for good. I tell you what explaining bureaucracy to a 7 and 9 year olds is not fun at all. It was way easier to explain the medical component of all of this. There's nothing like a 9 year old's summation of government at work. "So we're waiting for a lot of people to print papers that say Daddy can go home?" Well, yes dear, that sums it up in one sentence. Out of the mouths of babes.....
Chaz had a guys' night out with some of his fellow wounded warriors. I had a girls' night in with my cuties. We talked and laughed over a rerun of America's Funniest Videos. Then we made plans. I listened as the girls told me what they want to do while we wait for our next trip home. We also talked more about the birthday party Deryn will have in TN with her friends.
I guess since our company left, so did some of our distraction. We just needed to brainstorm on ways to make all of this better. We needed to get ourselves back on track. So today we'll start moving that train forward. Our train never fell off the track we just weren't making it move along.