Saturday, May 12, 2012

The Second Time Around...

I was once told the best conversations in the whole wild, world happen on a rocking chair on a front porch in the South. Of course being from Tennessee, I totally agree with this statement. While we were home I had one of these talks with one of the greatest women in the world, my mom.

I was sharing with her that I find it easier to bond with the moms of the single soldiers than I do with the wives sometimes. I was telling her that once a wife looked at me and said, "I didn't sign up for this." I told her, "Well actually you did. It was in that "in sickness and in health and that til death do us part" piece of that vows." That wife did leave her husband a few months later and he and no one else never heard from her again.

So many of them leave. They are so young and just can't handle it. I get it. It's so hard to deal with all of this. There are so many components that make being a wounded warrior's wife almost impossible. But what's even harder is helping someone heal when their first choice of caregiver turns their back on them. This has happened to many, many parents of our wounded.

These parents who are here healing their children are the ones who steal my heart almost instantly. They give up everything that they had worked so hard for so they can heal their injured child. They lose their jobs, homes, friends and sometimes everything. Some of them had to choose between their retirement fund and healing their child. Some of them choose between their child and their husband. Some of them have to choose between children. This happens when their oldest is injured and they are the one who has to come care for them. The younger children are left back home and are passed around to various families and friends who jump on board to help the injured families make it all work. This keeps happening again and again. The parents of our wounded are really the ones who did not sign up for this. I told a good friend that I feel like they were all drafted into this war.

While we were on the front porch, my mom said the second time around is the hardest. She was referring to how hard it was watching her grandchildren grow up and become independent. She then went on to say she can't imagine how these moms feel. To a degree, they are raising their child all over again. Or at a minimum they are getting their child back to themselves prior to injury. My mom went on to say that she can't imagine seeing your child injured so severely, then healing them, and then the Army or your child tells you to go away. She asked what's being done for the parents. The answer is very little.

So now you ask why? Well parents have a very hard time putting themselves first. They will do whatever their child and the military tells them to do because they are being told that's what's best. We all put so much focus on our warriors that we get in our healing tunnel and keep on trucking and totally forget about ourselves. Then due to military policies, the parents are excluded from so much. There are exceptions to policy, but the parents have to be vocal to get it. But the parents are exhausted and they just go without. To me the parents of our wounded never stop sacrificing because more than likely one day they will let their baby fly away again and they have to sit back and hope for the best. So the second time around has got to be so incredibly hard.

9 comments:

  1. One of the other wounded warriors I follow is in this situation. Adds tragedy upon tragedy!
    Praying so hard for all the wounded warriors and their families!!!!!!!!!!!
    Psalms 5:1-3 Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.
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  2. No matter what happens, the Lord is our shield! Praying!
    Psalms 5:11-12 But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.
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  3. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers!
    Isaiah 43:1-3a But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel...
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  4. Praying right now!
    1 Peter 1:18-19, 20 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot (21) Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.
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  5. Lifting up prayers right now!
    2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.
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  6. Such words of comfort! Praying hard!
    Job 19:25-27 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.
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  7. Continuing to pray!
    Psalms 130:1-2, 5-7 Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications (5-7) I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.
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  8. Stopping by to let you know that you're always in my thoughts and prayers!
    Psalms 91:1-2, 4 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. (4) He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
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  9. Whatever the Lord allows to happen in your life, He'll get you through! Praying right now!
    Psalms 91:9-12 Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
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