And now to move on to the next paragraph where we find another error in this article. Here's the link so you can see I just copied and pasted it right in. http://news.yahoo.com/military-pension-cuts-now-unsure-122851079.html
"Active duty military members also get all of their health care for free.
Their spouses and children get free care at military treatment
facilities. If dependents use a private doctor, dentist or pharmacy,
they get the care through the department's TRICARE system, paying no
premiums and no co-pays, said Austin Camacho, a system spokesman."
Let's chat about the "free" health care. Did you know if an active duty soldier is sick his first line of medical care is his medic? The line medic (an EMT) will decide where you go from there. But before you go you must have the blessing or your chain of command. And guess what? That soldier is sent to sick hall unless it's an emergency. Guess what? Another medic awaits him at sick hall. Not a doctor, a Senior medic, a seasoned EMT.
If he's lucky he might see a nurse practitioner, physician's assistant or a doctor, but more than likely it will be another medic located across the base at a Troop Medical Clinic. And then once you are deemed sick enough, you'll see someone with prescription privileges to get you the meds you need and it is an all-day affair. But if they can't handle you then you'll go to the ER after you have waited about 6 hours for that decision.
I will say this, I have never met a bad medic. To me they are bad ass and amaze me with their skills. That's your active duty free medical care. Unless they are seriously injured or sick, they will not make their way to a Military Treatment Facility on the base.
The "free" care at the MTFs (military treatment facility) is comprised of military personnel and civilian contractors. Tricare wants everyone to go to a MTFs because the DOD is already paying for those persons to be there and the military personnel need the experience in medical training. The MTFs are the most cost effective for Tricare. Makes total cost-effective sense to me.
Those treatment centers are there for our service members first, then dependents, then retirees. Can we really argue about it? If you send them off-post it will cost more. We have doctors there at the MTFs who signed up to serve the military population by using their education to help the military and their families with their medical needs. If you ask me that's quite amazing. Those persons could go to a civilian hospital and get paid a lot more, but no they are called to serve our military and their families.
And to be honest I want that "free" medical care for our service members to be the best in the world. I can tell you that at Walter Reed it is. The last time I stepped foot into BACH (Campbell's MTF) was when I had an allergic reaction and they were awesome. We should all want our service members to have free access to excellent medical care when they need it. Someone please tell me why we would ever question our military receiving
free medical care? If you think they should pay for medical care, you
have some serious issues.The very least we can do is make sure to take care of our soldiers' health, since they give so much for us.
Now let's chat about the families "free" medical care. I tried to take advantage of our "free" medical when we were first married. My favorite (sarcasm) doctor was the one who called me fat when I was a whopping 120 lbs. I'll never see that number again. I was 22 and I'm 5' 7" so 120 makes me look like a stick. I laughed when he called me fat. Then I said a few nice words (feel the sarcasm here) and he threatened to get my husband in trouble over my behavior. Well let me assure you things didn't go well for that doctor after that.
I was treated like crap by 3 doctors in a row who were actually civilians and then finally got to a nurse practitioner and doctor who were both military. The awesome Nurse Practitioner got to be the one to tell me the big surprise that we were expecting. He was fabulous and he worked with the awesome doctor who became my OB/GYN. They took excellent prenatal care of Deryn and I while Chaz prepared to go to Korea. Do you know they even contacted the Army to get Chaz's orders at least delayed so he could be there at delivery? Yes they were that awesome.
Time came for me to deliver Deryn. I had my mom by my side because the Army wouldn't let Chaz come home. The doctor who had taken care of me those entire 9 months was not allowed to deliver Deryn because the staff said the Midwife on duty was just fine and they didn't need to bother my OB/GYN.
How about that Midwife made me wait to deliver until after he watched some TV show? How about he almost dropped Deryn? How about he ruptured my placenta and I had to have it extracted? How about he would not let me call Chaz to let him know I was in labor? How about they would not let me talk to my hubby until the baby had stats, because if it didn't make it they would have to issue a different call? How about when he extracted my placenta they reconstructed it on a tray next to my head? How about I was yelled at for saying I was uncomfortable during the extraction? How about a nurse came in in the middle of the night and yelled at me for not being awake and nursing? How about he told me I was selfish and would make a bad mother because I wasn't awake? How about he came in the middle of the night and pulled back my covers "to check my bleeding" without asking?
After our horrible experience, I thought about transferring off post to civilian doctors, but I waited. We officially transferred when the war broke out in Iraq. Why? Because my Nurse Practitioner, OB/GYN and Deryn's doctor all were deployed. I just couldn't start all over again with the civilians that were left behind. I had already seen them and they were rude and hateful and I didn't have the patience for that. So off-post we went. Contrary to this article, we did have co-pays, deductibles and catastrophic gaps just like the other insurance policies out there.
Deryn developed severe asthma when she was 3 and Chaz was in Iraq. Ryann developed almost every type of funky baby illness you can have. Because of the medicines Ryann received when she had developed a staph infection in her umbilical cord at 7 weeks, she was resistant to many medicines that were typically given. We had to think outside the box to help her. Deryn's asthma would not respond to typical treatment so we had to seek new medicines and treatments for her as well. And guess what? I had to pay out of pocket for their meds. Tricare would not cover some of their meds because they were deemed "experimental." They were FDA approved, but not approved through Tricare yet. I only picked up Deryn's meds once a week because they were so expensive and I didn't want to waste money. We didn't know how many treatments she would need so one week at a time made sense. Chaz was only a Sargent at the time and we lived on one income. Did I complain? No because they did pay for some of it and more importantly the medicines were what our children needed and that was the end of the story.
And let's chat about the dental care.....military dependents have always paid for their dental. We have a monthly premium deducted from the service members check every month. And our dental is pretty much useless. It covers cleanings, x-rays and percentages of other things. You basically pre-pay for those services for the company. Once you compare the dependent's dental to other plans you'll see it really is not hing to brag about. And Chaz could only see Army Dentists. If he went to a civilian, it was 100% out of our pocket. The Army Dentists did just fine, but this article makes it seem like Chaz had a choice to do whatever and it was paid for.
The dental plan we have now, we pay an extra $50 per month in comparison to the active duty plan and all four of us have better coverage then what the military offered to us. Let me put it to you this way. Our dental coverage was never something I bragged about. And many dentists wouldn't touch us because of how difficult the
provider was. Our dentist is happy that we are on a different plan
now. We have better service and his office gets paid faster. It's a
win-win on the dental in this house even if it costs us more per month.Oh wait, Chaz can get dental at the VA for free. Ha, that's funny...have you seen the waiting list for VA dental?
Now onto the pharamacy. You want to see how we get our scripts? http://www.tricare.mil/pharmacy.aspx We do try to go to Ft Campbell to have any recurring meds filled there for free. But sometimes that is not an option. But wait says the spokesman said any pharmacy and we get everything with no co-pays or premiums right?! http://www.tricare.mil/Pharmacy/FillPrescriptions/Network.aspx And if you cannot find a network pharmacy? http://www.tricare.mil/Pharmacy/FillPrescriptions/NonNetwork.aspx Wow, free sure does look like it costs money?! But what do I know I've only been doing this since 2001.
I will tell you this we did not pay one dime of Chaz's medical expenses
until he retired. We got hit pretty hard with bills in March from his
emergency procedures, but that's why we have an emergency fund. Why wouldn't I take him to the VA? Oh we tried but they were full that day and couldn't see him.
On October 1, 2013, the girls and I were forced to Tricare Standard because they adjusted the Prime beneficiary area. And now we pay a lot more as we go. We are
paying more for co-pays, deductibles and catastrophic gaps. But
since the bill for Ryann's recent MRI was only a smidgen of the actual cost, we
will write the check and shut up about it. We would have switched to Standard had we not been forced to. All of our doctors were dropped from Prime on that date. Here's more information on military insurance plans so you can learn more. http://www.tricare.mil/Welcome/Plans.aspx
Tricare has always been great to us. I will never complain about their services. We have had nothing but great experiences with Tricare. We are very thankful that we have insurance for our family. We will pay our costs and hush about it. Our medical care is NOT FREE!! Want to see the bills? I still have them! Free does not come with bills...just saying. Our medical care is discounted thanks to my husband's service to our country. If the spokesman had said our care was discounted I would not have had any issue, but he said, "Free." Either he said it or his was misquoted. Either way it ticks me off.
Our service members put their lives on the line for their families to have access to Tricare. Our Tricare is paid for in another way. It's paid for by sacrifice and you can even say by blood. I am tired of watching our military being asked to sacrifice again and again. There are other things to cut, so Congress turn your heads away from my heroes and their families. And until you put your medical and benefits on the table then you back off of those who serve at your beck and call.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Clearing Things up with a Few Facts #2
I took a nice break yesterday and enjoyed my family. I woke up this morning and yep, I am still mad over this article and it's lack of research before publishing. Here's the article again. http://news.yahoo.com/military-pension-cuts-now-unsure-122851079.html
Let's return to this paragraph to examine it again. "For example, an Army private with fewer than two years of service and no dependents earns on average about $40,400 annually, said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Nathan Christensen, a Defense Department spokesman. About two-thirds of that is base pay and the rest a housing allowance and a food allowance, with no taxes paid on the two allowances. An Army captain with six years of service and no dependents averages $93,800 annually." But now let's look at the Army Captain.
By visiting this link, you will see the Captain is an O-3. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/theorderlyroom/l/blofficerrank.htm Now let's look up the example, an O-3 with 6 years of service. http://www.militaryrates.com/military-pay-charts-o1_o5_2014.cfm You'll see he would make $5,415 per month. Now let's look at his BAH (Housing allowance). http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm I used Ft Campbell's zip code of 42223 for my search and I got $1338. Remember he has no dependents. Now we look at his BAS (food allowance). http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/allowances/basic-allowance-for-subsistence.html You'll see the Captain is given $242.60.
Let's run the math....(Base pay + BAH + BAS = monthly pay) $5415 + $1338 + $242.60 = $6995.60 or $83,947.20. Remember 2/3 of that original figure was base pay. I got $61,908 when I ran the LT Commander's math. ($93,800 x .66). When I multiplied $5,415 by 12 I got $64,980.
Well once again I did not get the same figures listed in the article. Weird huh?! Yes I am still so very confused by the math mentioned in this article, but oh well, I guess looking up little things like pay and allowance charts were not as important to the author as they are to me. I do see that he says that the service member averages these salaries, but I am still not seeing where the numbers are coming from with those three figures. Moving on.....
Let's talk about the Captain and how he made it to Captain. I am going to focus on the Army Infantry Captains simply because I have the most experience with them. These men have gone to college and have agreed to lead our Army after graduation. Unlike the civilian work force where they could have gone, they have signed on the line and agreed to risk their lives for our country. Let's chat about how they became Captains.
First they were First Lieutenants. They were tasked out to lead a group of men into battle. The majority of these men he is expected to lead have more line time than the LT will ever see. He has to step in this leadership role fresh out of college and his OBC (Officer's Basic Course a specialty training school). Some of his men have already been deployed multiple times and he is expected to lead them. Think about how hard that must be. You have been hitting the books for years, while these guys are dodging bullets and IEDs. You know that the day you show up at the Platoon, the guys are sizing you up. I can only imagine the level of confidence you have to have to step into the LT's role.
The LT has to go in, build up their trust in him before they deploy together. He needs that trust because he could die or be blown up just as easily as the rest of his platoon could. A enemy sniper would love to take out the LT and he knows this. He must get onto his platoon's mental level to become a part of the brotherhood. Once he gets to that point, the bonds will last a lifetime. True brotherhood knows no rank. He will hit the dirt with these guys and he will embrace the same suck. They will bond with him simply because he is there in the suck with him. Then as the battles and maneuvers present themselves, they will develop a real team and that respect will be built on the experiences they have together.
He will watch men die beside him at the ages of 18-21. These were the ages when he was doing keg stands at the Frat house. He'll develop an immense amount of respect for these patriots and he will be honored when they recognize him as a brother in their own special chapter of the Army fraternity. He will mourn the losses of their brothers and he will also carry the memories in his heart like his new brothers will.
After that now Captain has been a successful LT, he'll eventually get to be the XO (executive officer) of the company. This job is a ton of fun (note this is sarcasm). Everything that rolls up and down will land on him. He is now in a different kind of suck. He will be the first into the company in the morning and he will not even think about leaving until everyone higher than him leaves for the day. He will get tasked out with every crappy job that the Commander can't or doesn't want to do and he will fix what need to be fixed because one day he thinks he wants to be that Commander. He will work himself as hard as possible for the sheer possibility of hitting the Captain rank.
If he is lucky, he has found a very understanding girlfriend that will understand why he is doing what he is doing and she will love him through it. But more than likely at this point he has given up on a serious relationship for a bit. He tried to hold on to that college romance, but she got tired of the military. He's tried to date, but he's just not had any luck. He is currently married to the Army and right now he's ok with that. But everyday he is thinking, should I just put in my 4-5 years and walk away? Do I really want this life?
One magical day the news comes that he has made it to Captain. Oh what a glorious day, right?! Of course because that promotion came with extra money, but oh did it come with a ton of responsibility. But someone, somewhere decided he is commander material and he is going to stand up and take it on.
Now instead of being in charge of the Platoon, he is taking on the whole company. Here's what that means in numbers http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/l/blchancommand.htm He just quadrupled the amount of men he is responsible for. Quadrupled with in less than 6 years? Does that even exist in the civilian world? I doubt it.
Now not only does he have to deal with the soldiers, but he must also deal with the crazy wives and mothers. The ones who decide he is working their Infantryman too much. The ones who say that going to NTC and JRTC (more training that is necessary prior to deployments) is too much. He has guys who come in having to declare bankruptcy because they trusted their wives to manage their funds and they did anything but. He then finds out three of his guys were in a bar fight and another one got a DUI over the weekend. Someone needs to go pick them up. He sometimes feels like a babysitter.
And sometimes he thinks, "This is a promotion?" He hands off as much as possible to the XO, but he still has all the Army administration stuff to deal with and only he can do it. Then the orders arrived. He has to get his company ready for deployment in just a few months.
They deploy and he has the job of deciding who goes where. He has to rely on the reports of other leaders for him to relay his orders. Is he making the right decisions? He argues with higher command for what his platoons need. Sometimes the fight is easy. Sometimes he thinks his command structure needs to spend a day being an LT again because they have lost touch with where they came from. It's so stressful. He's losing guys left and right and begging for replacements and sometimes they come and sometimes they don't.
But hey he makes $93,800 per year? That makes all of it worth it, right?! He's deployed for a year, he won't take R&R because he would rather make sure all of his men go. Besides he doesn't have a family to go home to because he married the Army. If he went to his parents, his mom would just cry when it was time to go and he can't put her through that again. He just sat down to drink some coffee and decides to calculate his hourly wage since everyone else has. $93,800 (Yes, I am using the articles' numbers) divided by 8760 (the numbers of hours in a year). He makes $10.71 per hour. I guess that makes it all worth it?
His break was interrupted to find out one of his favorite NCOs (Non-commissioned Officer) is now a double amputee thanks to an IED. The soldiers with him don't know if he'll make it, but they are getting him on the bird. By the time he gets there, the NCO will be airborne, so he just waits.
He calls the NCO's wife later that day looking for an update to relay back to the guys because no one will tell them anything. The NCO is stable but has a long road. He fights back the tears while talking to his friend's wife because people can see him. He just lost a great NCO and who is going to replace him and inspire the men in the same way. Why did I send him there? This NCO has kids and now his life is in ruins. This is all my fault he thinks to himself. And when he finally gets to sleep he can't, because guilt has filled his heart. He will cry himself to sleep tonight when sleep finally comes for him.
How's that $93,800 per year looking now? This Captain could walk away and take a nice cushy job in the civilian sector. He could finally always have a nice warm bed to sleep in and always have what he wants to eat. He could finally calm his mother's worries and maybe even find a girlfriend. But no instead he signs on for a few more years of service to our nation. And yes he knows that some days he only makes $10.71 per hour, but the brotherhood wants him to stay and he loves his men.
Can we really say he makes too much? Can you look the Captain in the face and tell him he's not worth that amount of money? The Captains we have in our family's life have served and sacrificed way more than this short story I shared with you. The give their hearts for their men and our nation and it's time to talk about more than the money they make. It's time to start talking about what they do everyday. Again I understand and agree cuts have to be made, but our service member's pay is not where we should be looking. They earn every penny of that $10.71 or less per hour. Let me assure you, I do not know one service member who joined just for the money!
Let's return to this paragraph to examine it again. "For example, an Army private with fewer than two years of service and no dependents earns on average about $40,400 annually, said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Nathan Christensen, a Defense Department spokesman. About two-thirds of that is base pay and the rest a housing allowance and a food allowance, with no taxes paid on the two allowances. An Army captain with six years of service and no dependents averages $93,800 annually." But now let's look at the Army Captain.
By visiting this link, you will see the Captain is an O-3. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/theorderlyroom/l/blofficerrank.htm Now let's look up the example, an O-3 with 6 years of service. http://www.militaryrates.com/military-pay-charts-o1_o5_2014.cfm You'll see he would make $5,415 per month. Now let's look at his BAH (Housing allowance). http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm I used Ft Campbell's zip code of 42223 for my search and I got $1338. Remember he has no dependents. Now we look at his BAS (food allowance). http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/allowances/basic-allowance-for-subsistence.html You'll see the Captain is given $242.60.
Let's run the math....(Base pay + BAH + BAS = monthly pay) $5415 + $1338 + $242.60 = $6995.60 or $83,947.20. Remember 2/3 of that original figure was base pay. I got $61,908 when I ran the LT Commander's math. ($93,800 x .66). When I multiplied $5,415 by 12 I got $64,980.
Well once again I did not get the same figures listed in the article. Weird huh?! Yes I am still so very confused by the math mentioned in this article, but oh well, I guess looking up little things like pay and allowance charts were not as important to the author as they are to me. I do see that he says that the service member averages these salaries, but I am still not seeing where the numbers are coming from with those three figures. Moving on.....
Let's talk about the Captain and how he made it to Captain. I am going to focus on the Army Infantry Captains simply because I have the most experience with them. These men have gone to college and have agreed to lead our Army after graduation. Unlike the civilian work force where they could have gone, they have signed on the line and agreed to risk their lives for our country. Let's chat about how they became Captains.
First they were First Lieutenants. They were tasked out to lead a group of men into battle. The majority of these men he is expected to lead have more line time than the LT will ever see. He has to step in this leadership role fresh out of college and his OBC (Officer's Basic Course a specialty training school). Some of his men have already been deployed multiple times and he is expected to lead them. Think about how hard that must be. You have been hitting the books for years, while these guys are dodging bullets and IEDs. You know that the day you show up at the Platoon, the guys are sizing you up. I can only imagine the level of confidence you have to have to step into the LT's role.
The LT has to go in, build up their trust in him before they deploy together. He needs that trust because he could die or be blown up just as easily as the rest of his platoon could. A enemy sniper would love to take out the LT and he knows this. He must get onto his platoon's mental level to become a part of the brotherhood. Once he gets to that point, the bonds will last a lifetime. True brotherhood knows no rank. He will hit the dirt with these guys and he will embrace the same suck. They will bond with him simply because he is there in the suck with him. Then as the battles and maneuvers present themselves, they will develop a real team and that respect will be built on the experiences they have together.
He will watch men die beside him at the ages of 18-21. These were the ages when he was doing keg stands at the Frat house. He'll develop an immense amount of respect for these patriots and he will be honored when they recognize him as a brother in their own special chapter of the Army fraternity. He will mourn the losses of their brothers and he will also carry the memories in his heart like his new brothers will.
After that now Captain has been a successful LT, he'll eventually get to be the XO (executive officer) of the company. This job is a ton of fun (note this is sarcasm). Everything that rolls up and down will land on him. He is now in a different kind of suck. He will be the first into the company in the morning and he will not even think about leaving until everyone higher than him leaves for the day. He will get tasked out with every crappy job that the Commander can't or doesn't want to do and he will fix what need to be fixed because one day he thinks he wants to be that Commander. He will work himself as hard as possible for the sheer possibility of hitting the Captain rank.
If he is lucky, he has found a very understanding girlfriend that will understand why he is doing what he is doing and she will love him through it. But more than likely at this point he has given up on a serious relationship for a bit. He tried to hold on to that college romance, but she got tired of the military. He's tried to date, but he's just not had any luck. He is currently married to the Army and right now he's ok with that. But everyday he is thinking, should I just put in my 4-5 years and walk away? Do I really want this life?
One magical day the news comes that he has made it to Captain. Oh what a glorious day, right?! Of course because that promotion came with extra money, but oh did it come with a ton of responsibility. But someone, somewhere decided he is commander material and he is going to stand up and take it on.
Now instead of being in charge of the Platoon, he is taking on the whole company. Here's what that means in numbers http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/l/blchancommand.htm He just quadrupled the amount of men he is responsible for. Quadrupled with in less than 6 years? Does that even exist in the civilian world? I doubt it.
Now not only does he have to deal with the soldiers, but he must also deal with the crazy wives and mothers. The ones who decide he is working their Infantryman too much. The ones who say that going to NTC and JRTC (more training that is necessary prior to deployments) is too much. He has guys who come in having to declare bankruptcy because they trusted their wives to manage their funds and they did anything but. He then finds out three of his guys were in a bar fight and another one got a DUI over the weekend. Someone needs to go pick them up. He sometimes feels like a babysitter.
And sometimes he thinks, "This is a promotion?" He hands off as much as possible to the XO, but he still has all the Army administration stuff to deal with and only he can do it. Then the orders arrived. He has to get his company ready for deployment in just a few months.
They deploy and he has the job of deciding who goes where. He has to rely on the reports of other leaders for him to relay his orders. Is he making the right decisions? He argues with higher command for what his platoons need. Sometimes the fight is easy. Sometimes he thinks his command structure needs to spend a day being an LT again because they have lost touch with where they came from. It's so stressful. He's losing guys left and right and begging for replacements and sometimes they come and sometimes they don't.
But hey he makes $93,800 per year? That makes all of it worth it, right?! He's deployed for a year, he won't take R&R because he would rather make sure all of his men go. Besides he doesn't have a family to go home to because he married the Army. If he went to his parents, his mom would just cry when it was time to go and he can't put her through that again. He just sat down to drink some coffee and decides to calculate his hourly wage since everyone else has. $93,800 (Yes, I am using the articles' numbers) divided by 8760 (the numbers of hours in a year). He makes $10.71 per hour. I guess that makes it all worth it?
His break was interrupted to find out one of his favorite NCOs (Non-commissioned Officer) is now a double amputee thanks to an IED. The soldiers with him don't know if he'll make it, but they are getting him on the bird. By the time he gets there, the NCO will be airborne, so he just waits.
He calls the NCO's wife later that day looking for an update to relay back to the guys because no one will tell them anything. The NCO is stable but has a long road. He fights back the tears while talking to his friend's wife because people can see him. He just lost a great NCO and who is going to replace him and inspire the men in the same way. Why did I send him there? This NCO has kids and now his life is in ruins. This is all my fault he thinks to himself. And when he finally gets to sleep he can't, because guilt has filled his heart. He will cry himself to sleep tonight when sleep finally comes for him.
How's that $93,800 per year looking now? This Captain could walk away and take a nice cushy job in the civilian sector. He could finally always have a nice warm bed to sleep in and always have what he wants to eat. He could finally calm his mother's worries and maybe even find a girlfriend. But no instead he signs on for a few more years of service to our nation. And yes he knows that some days he only makes $10.71 per hour, but the brotherhood wants him to stay and he loves his men.
Can we really say he makes too much? Can you look the Captain in the face and tell him he's not worth that amount of money? The Captains we have in our family's life have served and sacrificed way more than this short story I shared with you. The give their hearts for their men and our nation and it's time to talk about more than the money they make. It's time to start talking about what they do everyday. Again I understand and agree cuts have to be made, but our service member's pay is not where we should be looking. They earn every penny of that $10.71 or less per hour. Let me assure you, I do not know one service member who joined just for the money!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Clearing Things up with a Few Facts
This article just got my blood boiling yesterday. http://news.yahoo.com/military-pension-cuts-now-unsure-122851079.html Ladies and gentlemen, enough is enough. I understand cuts must be made, but presenting the argument that our military are a group of entitled know-nothings or that they are over paid is the wrong way to go about it. You want to cut things lets looks at things other than benefits and pay for our servicemembers.
I have prepared income taxes since 2001. I currently manage 125 clients and 85% are active duty or retired military. I know a little bit about their income and entitlements. Oh and there's the fact I've been with Chaz since 1999. I guess you can say I am a subject matter expert.
My first problem with the article was found here."For example, an Army private with fewer than two years of service and no dependents earns on average about $40,400 annually, said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Nathan Christensen, a Defense Department spokesman. About two-thirds of that is base pay and the rest a housing allowance and a food allowance, with no taxes paid on the two allowances" I have so many problems with this article, I'll just cover them one blog at a time.
I assume what the Lt. Commander is saying is when these two examples are deployed, they recieve those salaries. At least I hope that's where his numbers came from. I did my homework and want to share my discoveries with you. You'll find them interesting.
I looked at the 2014 military pay chart and you can too. http://www.militaryfactory.com/military_pay_scale.asp That Army Private previously mentioned makes a base pay of $1532 per month or $18384 annually. In his statement, the Lt Commander also stated the Private's $40,400 was 2/3 base pay. Well I multiplied $40,400 times .66 (decimal representation of 2/3rd) and I got $26,664. His numbers are a bit off from mine. I am assuming he didn't pull the pay chart.
I also looked up that Private's BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) rates. http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm I got $921 for this Private's BAH with no dependents at Ft Campbell. But wait, he's a private with no dependents, he won't be seeing that money because he'll be living in the barracks and the Army will be charging him for that.
I also pulled the BAS (Basic Allowance for Subsistence) rates http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/allowances/basic-allowance-for-subsistence.html It states the enlisted receive $352.27 per month. But wait....he's a Private with less than two years in with no dependents. That means he'll live on post and have a meal card. That also means some if not all of his BAS will be given back to the military to cover his meals. So you mean that private doesn't make $40,400 per year....NO, not even close with the scenario suggested.
Even if the Private was receiving all the pays mentioned it does not add up to $40,400. Here we go (Base pay + BAH + BAS = total monthly income) $1532 + $921 + $357.27= $2810.27. Multiple that times 12 you get $33723.24. I am seriously scratching my head. Where in the world is this $40,400 coming from?
But let's give the Lt. Commander the benefit of the doubt. Let's say his numbers are right and mine are wrong and so are the charts. Let's look at that $40,400. Let's deploy this 18-20 year old young man. He probably joined the service right out of high school. He's probably infantry since that is the "needs of the Army" right now. So let's train him and throw him in the suck. He's working for our tax dollars 24/7 with a 2 week R&R. So let's look at those numbers.
He works 351 days or a total of 8424 hours (351 x 24) during that deployment. He gets those 2 weeks off for R&R. Take this mythical $40,400 salary and divide it and you'll find our private only makes $4.80 per hour. And remember, I showed you that the $40,400 is not his correct salary.
So let's go to the real numbers. He makes $1532 per month. No BAH and we'll give him his BAS for the deployment scenario. Let's add his combat incentive pay of $225 per month, but wait it could only be $7.50 per day, we'll give him the $225 anyway. (Read more here. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/2012MilPay/a/2012idp.htm)And he might get hardship pay of $100 per month for being in Afghanistan. (Read more here. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/fy2005paycharts/a/hardshippay.htm). So let's look at that. $1532 + $327.27 + $225 + $100 = $2184.27 per month or $26211.24 annually. Or our Private is making $3.11 per hour during deployment.
Both of my numbers are high for their hourly wage because I didn't subtract their 2 weeks R&R with their families. Oh wait they changed the game, I forgot our guys are deployed for 9 months with no R&R now. Something tells me you still get the point I am making...Our enlisted service members are making well below minimum wage.
Then let's think for a bit. That private is away from all of his loved ones for a year. He's being shot at daily. His new friends die in front and beside him. He has to carry their bodies away to make sure his new friends make it home to their families for their burial. He has to eat and thrive off of MREs. He carries at 30lb ruck (at minimum) every where he goes. But wait this article states he is so well paid for it.....if that's the case why are so many military families on WIC? Here's why http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/wic-income-eligibility-guidelines-2013-2014. When we were pregnant with our now 11 year old, Chaz was an E4 and we fully qualified for WIC. An E4 today in our 11 years prior situation would still qualify for WIC. SERIOUSLY!!!! It's been 11 years and now you are saying they make too much?!
When Chaz was in Iraq in 2005-6 my friends and I figured out that the guys made $2.19 per hour then. They lost over 30 friends and went through Hell. Our marriage went through Hell. Our 4 year old got to learn about PTSD then. 2006 was when our marriage was put to the absolute breaking point. And guess what our issues that we had in 2006 still thrive today in military households everywhere. But I guess the Pentagon's top civilian is correct tough decisions like pay cuts need to be made.
We need to bridge the civilian-military divide. We need to educate the civilian population with facts on what our military does for them. We do not need to portray them in a negative way. And I have a few questions to ask this reporter who makes it sound like the military is so glamorous. We'll leave that for another blog....But I ask you this....where the heck is that $40,400 coming from? This tax advisor is stumped.....
I have prepared income taxes since 2001. I currently manage 125 clients and 85% are active duty or retired military. I know a little bit about their income and entitlements. Oh and there's the fact I've been with Chaz since 1999. I guess you can say I am a subject matter expert.
My first problem with the article was found here."For example, an Army private with fewer than two years of service and no dependents earns on average about $40,400 annually, said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Nathan Christensen, a Defense Department spokesman. About two-thirds of that is base pay and the rest a housing allowance and a food allowance, with no taxes paid on the two allowances" I have so many problems with this article, I'll just cover them one blog at a time.
I assume what the Lt. Commander is saying is when these two examples are deployed, they recieve those salaries. At least I hope that's where his numbers came from. I did my homework and want to share my discoveries with you. You'll find them interesting.
I looked at the 2014 military pay chart and you can too. http://www.militaryfactory.com/military_pay_scale.asp That Army Private previously mentioned makes a base pay of $1532 per month or $18384 annually. In his statement, the Lt Commander also stated the Private's $40,400 was 2/3 base pay. Well I multiplied $40,400 times .66 (decimal representation of 2/3rd) and I got $26,664. His numbers are a bit off from mine. I am assuming he didn't pull the pay chart.
I also looked up that Private's BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) rates. http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm I got $921 for this Private's BAH with no dependents at Ft Campbell. But wait, he's a private with no dependents, he won't be seeing that money because he'll be living in the barracks and the Army will be charging him for that.
I also pulled the BAS (Basic Allowance for Subsistence) rates http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/allowances/basic-allowance-for-subsistence.html It states the enlisted receive $352.27 per month. But wait....he's a Private with less than two years in with no dependents. That means he'll live on post and have a meal card. That also means some if not all of his BAS will be given back to the military to cover his meals. So you mean that private doesn't make $40,400 per year....NO, not even close with the scenario suggested.
Even if the Private was receiving all the pays mentioned it does not add up to $40,400. Here we go (Base pay + BAH + BAS = total monthly income) $1532 + $921 + $357.27= $2810.27. Multiple that times 12 you get $33723.24. I am seriously scratching my head. Where in the world is this $40,400 coming from?
But let's give the Lt. Commander the benefit of the doubt. Let's say his numbers are right and mine are wrong and so are the charts. Let's look at that $40,400. Let's deploy this 18-20 year old young man. He probably joined the service right out of high school. He's probably infantry since that is the "needs of the Army" right now. So let's train him and throw him in the suck. He's working for our tax dollars 24/7 with a 2 week R&R. So let's look at those numbers.
He works 351 days or a total of 8424 hours (351 x 24) during that deployment. He gets those 2 weeks off for R&R. Take this mythical $40,400 salary and divide it and you'll find our private only makes $4.80 per hour. And remember, I showed you that the $40,400 is not his correct salary.
So let's go to the real numbers. He makes $1532 per month. No BAH and we'll give him his BAS for the deployment scenario. Let's add his combat incentive pay of $225 per month, but wait it could only be $7.50 per day, we'll give him the $225 anyway. (Read more here. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/2012MilPay/a/2012idp.htm)And he might get hardship pay of $100 per month for being in Afghanistan. (Read more here. http://usmilitary.about.com/od/fy2005paycharts/a/hardshippay.htm). So let's look at that. $1532 + $327.27 + $225 + $100 = $2184.27 per month or $26211.24 annually. Or our Private is making $3.11 per hour during deployment.
Both of my numbers are high for their hourly wage because I didn't subtract their 2 weeks R&R with their families. Oh wait they changed the game, I forgot our guys are deployed for 9 months with no R&R now. Something tells me you still get the point I am making...Our enlisted service members are making well below minimum wage.
Then let's think for a bit. That private is away from all of his loved ones for a year. He's being shot at daily. His new friends die in front and beside him. He has to carry their bodies away to make sure his new friends make it home to their families for their burial. He has to eat and thrive off of MREs. He carries at 30lb ruck (at minimum) every where he goes. But wait this article states he is so well paid for it.....if that's the case why are so many military families on WIC? Here's why http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/wic-income-eligibility-guidelines-2013-2014. When we were pregnant with our now 11 year old, Chaz was an E4 and we fully qualified for WIC. An E4 today in our 11 years prior situation would still qualify for WIC. SERIOUSLY!!!! It's been 11 years and now you are saying they make too much?!
When Chaz was in Iraq in 2005-6 my friends and I figured out that the guys made $2.19 per hour then. They lost over 30 friends and went through Hell. Our marriage went through Hell. Our 4 year old got to learn about PTSD then. 2006 was when our marriage was put to the absolute breaking point. And guess what our issues that we had in 2006 still thrive today in military households everywhere. But I guess the Pentagon's top civilian is correct tough decisions like pay cuts need to be made.
We need to bridge the civilian-military divide. We need to educate the civilian population with facts on what our military does for them. We do not need to portray them in a negative way. And I have a few questions to ask this reporter who makes it sound like the military is so glamorous. We'll leave that for another blog....But I ask you this....where the heck is that $40,400 coming from? This tax advisor is stumped.....
Thursday, December 5, 2013
You Must Believe in Order to Receive
Those that follow us know we enjoy our Elf on the Shelf friends. I know that not everyone likes the Elf idea and that's ok, to each there own. I guess my problem is why do we always have to have those people who just have to take a sour approach to everything. I think by far my favorite comment has been, "So you are ok with lying to your children? You know they think the Elf is real." You know what the Elf is real. Chaz and I are Santa's elves and we are quite alright with continuing the Christmas magic even if you don't want to believe and even if you want to consider it lying. Our family is having a ton of fun creating these memories even if you think it's based around a lie. I wish the Elf existed when I was a child. I know my Mom would have had a blast with it.
Children who go through catastrophic events need hope. They need it way more than any of us know. They need to know that the silver lining exists and sometimes they need to see it. Sometimes children get beaten down by what life throws at us. Sometimes they need something tangible to inspire their hope again. I believe it is our job to take the tangible and turn it into the intangible. Let me tell you our Elf story.
November 2011, the hospitals had just merged. It was a very trying time for so many. Our little family had been through so much. The hospital climate was horrible. We had power struggles all over the place. People were in horrible moods and they all took it out on our families. I would say our family's lowest point was at this time. It was so toxic there and the toxicity spread like disease. One day our oldest just broke down and began crying. She said, "They don't want me here. Why can't we just go home?" Then the youngest chimed in and said, "They'll let us go when Daddy's legs grow back." Obviously a serious talk needed to occur. Our poor babies were putting all their hope into the fact that Chaz's legs would grow back like a animal they saw on animal planet.
We all sat down and talked about how Daddy's legs were not growing back. Then more tears followed, they had lost there hope. They wanted their Daddy to have his legs back. They wanted to go home to their friends. They wanted their normal back. It was at this point our cuties believed the Army would keep us there forever. The oldest lashed out about how Daddy was ours and not the Army's and they needed to let us go home.
Once the tears had dried and lots of cuddling occurred. I began to rack my brain about what could we do to have some fun and put a little hope back into our home. My friend suggested the Elf. I picked Johnny up from Target and brought him home and we read his story together. The girls loved it. We could see that spark of childhood hope and innocence come back. Johnny had such a great time in our home in 2011, he brought back a friend, Rosie, in 2012.
Our girls were 5 and 8 when all our fun with the wounded world started. We protected their innocence as much as possible. But because they were surrounded in such a serious, sometimes devastating world, it was hard to maintain it. Most of us don't see this kind of reality until much later in life. Most of us will never suffer a day in our lives. Our girls' memories are now full of injuries, illnesses and death. There's nothing I can do to shield them from that, but every once in a while I can remind them that you must believe in order to receive. Every once in a while I have to find some hope somewhere for them.
They know that in order for Johnny and Rosie to continue their fun, they must continue to believe in them. They know that in order for Santa to come, they must believe in him. And most importantly they know in order to receive the grace and blessings of our Lord, they must believe in Him.
Some may not like the way we have handled our situation, but it was what our daughters needed to help heal their wounded hearts. We tell them about God's love all the time, but when you are in an environment surrounded by constant heartache, struggle and anger, it is hard for children to still see that hope. Sometimes they need something tangible to spark that hope.
We found hope in a little Elf. The little Elf helped develop more hope and helped our girls see that hope still exists. Once we sparked the hope, it was our job to keep that hope alive past the holidays and we have. Nothing makes me happier, then when I hear our daughters tell their friends "You just have to pray for that and know that there's hope, because it's there" or that "Jesus loves us so much and loves that we are so happy about his birthday." It's those moments that occur that tell me my friend's little Elf idea was what we needed to get back on track during that dark time.
Christmas is the time that we remember the miracle that is our Lord and Savior's birth. Christmas is the time we all take the time to reflect on how blessed we are. We do not see anything wrong in the fact we tell them the true Christmas story and we also mix in a little fun and bring them a little hope in the form of a Elf that gets into mischief and makes them smile the days before Santa comes and when we celebrate Jesus' birthday. Our Elf does not take away from the real reason of the season. Our Elf reminds our daughters that hope can be found. Our elves are reminders that hope does exist and that you must believe in order to receive. It might sound silly to some, but these little elves blessed us and got our hope back on track. And if "lying to my children" lights the hope back into their hearts, then cast the stones because I am guilty, no trial needed.
Children who go through catastrophic events need hope. They need it way more than any of us know. They need to know that the silver lining exists and sometimes they need to see it. Sometimes children get beaten down by what life throws at us. Sometimes they need something tangible to inspire their hope again. I believe it is our job to take the tangible and turn it into the intangible. Let me tell you our Elf story.
November 2011, the hospitals had just merged. It was a very trying time for so many. Our little family had been through so much. The hospital climate was horrible. We had power struggles all over the place. People were in horrible moods and they all took it out on our families. I would say our family's lowest point was at this time. It was so toxic there and the toxicity spread like disease. One day our oldest just broke down and began crying. She said, "They don't want me here. Why can't we just go home?" Then the youngest chimed in and said, "They'll let us go when Daddy's legs grow back." Obviously a serious talk needed to occur. Our poor babies were putting all their hope into the fact that Chaz's legs would grow back like a animal they saw on animal planet.
We all sat down and talked about how Daddy's legs were not growing back. Then more tears followed, they had lost there hope. They wanted their Daddy to have his legs back. They wanted to go home to their friends. They wanted their normal back. It was at this point our cuties believed the Army would keep us there forever. The oldest lashed out about how Daddy was ours and not the Army's and they needed to let us go home.
Once the tears had dried and lots of cuddling occurred. I began to rack my brain about what could we do to have some fun and put a little hope back into our home. My friend suggested the Elf. I picked Johnny up from Target and brought him home and we read his story together. The girls loved it. We could see that spark of childhood hope and innocence come back. Johnny had such a great time in our home in 2011, he brought back a friend, Rosie, in 2012.
Our girls were 5 and 8 when all our fun with the wounded world started. We protected their innocence as much as possible. But because they were surrounded in such a serious, sometimes devastating world, it was hard to maintain it. Most of us don't see this kind of reality until much later in life. Most of us will never suffer a day in our lives. Our girls' memories are now full of injuries, illnesses and death. There's nothing I can do to shield them from that, but every once in a while I can remind them that you must believe in order to receive. Every once in a while I have to find some hope somewhere for them.
They know that in order for Johnny and Rosie to continue their fun, they must continue to believe in them. They know that in order for Santa to come, they must believe in him. And most importantly they know in order to receive the grace and blessings of our Lord, they must believe in Him.
Some may not like the way we have handled our situation, but it was what our daughters needed to help heal their wounded hearts. We tell them about God's love all the time, but when you are in an environment surrounded by constant heartache, struggle and anger, it is hard for children to still see that hope. Sometimes they need something tangible to spark that hope.
We found hope in a little Elf. The little Elf helped develop more hope and helped our girls see that hope still exists. Once we sparked the hope, it was our job to keep that hope alive past the holidays and we have. Nothing makes me happier, then when I hear our daughters tell their friends "You just have to pray for that and know that there's hope, because it's there" or that "Jesus loves us so much and loves that we are so happy about his birthday." It's those moments that occur that tell me my friend's little Elf idea was what we needed to get back on track during that dark time.
Christmas is the time that we remember the miracle that is our Lord and Savior's birth. Christmas is the time we all take the time to reflect on how blessed we are. We do not see anything wrong in the fact we tell them the true Christmas story and we also mix in a little fun and bring them a little hope in the form of a Elf that gets into mischief and makes them smile the days before Santa comes and when we celebrate Jesus' birthday. Our Elf does not take away from the real reason of the season. Our Elf reminds our daughters that hope can be found. Our elves are reminders that hope does exist and that you must believe in order to receive. It might sound silly to some, but these little elves blessed us and got our hope back on track. And if "lying to my children" lights the hope back into their hearts, then cast the stones because I am guilty, no trial needed.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
25 Charities for Heroes That Should Be on Your Radar
It's that time again---it's the most wonderful time of the year! It's when we take the time to think about others. And it's the time when we all get into the giving spirit. When I think of giving, so many wonderful non-profits come into my mind. I decided I would share the first 25 Hero focused non-profits that came into my head with you today!
This list is not a ranking list. This list is simply a list of great non-profits that all popped into my head when I started thinking about who we would love to give donations to during this holiday season.
I know what you are all thinking. Wow this list is great, I wish I could give something. Don't think you can give? Think for a second. We all have something we waste money on if not everyday at least a few days out of the month. Some of us (points finger at self) spend $5 on a cup of coffee. Some of us (points at hubby) spend money on energy drinks and computer gear that can wait. Some of us (points fingers at hubby and self) spend money on toys that will probably end up in the yard sale next spring. We all have something that we can give, we just have to figure out how we can sacrifice to make that giving possible.
November was the month to be thankful. Make December the month to think about your blessings and pay them forward. Any of these non-profits would be happy to take your $5 that you would have spent on that coffee. It may just be $5 to you, but for those of us in the non-profit community that $5 adds up quickly. That $5 can be turned into a blessing for a Hero's family.
This list is not a ranking list. This list is simply a list of great non-profits that all popped into my head when I started thinking about who we would love to give donations to during this holiday season.
- Yellow Ribbon Fund www.yellowribbonfund.org
- Fisher House Foundation www.fisherhouse.org
- Elizabeth Dole Foundation http://elizabethdolefoundation.org
- America's Fund http://americasfund.org/
- Operation Ward 57 http://www.operationward57.org/
- Veterans Airlift Command http://www.veteransairlift.org/
- Help Our Military Heroes http://www.helpourmilitaryheroes.org/
- The General's Kids http://www.thegeneralskids.org/
- Our Military Kids http://www.ourmilitarykids.org/
- Operation Second Chance http://www.operationsecondchance.org/
- 101st Association http://www.screamingeagle.org/
- Semper Fi Fund http://semperfifund.org/
- Aleethia Foundation http://www.aleethia.org/
- Blue Star Families http://bluestarfam.org/
- MOAA http://www.moaa.org/
- Luke's Wings http://www.lukeswings.org/
- National Military Family Association http://www.militaryfamily.org/
- Code of Support http://codeofsupport.org/
- AUSA http://www.ausa.org
- Operation Homefront http://www.operationhomefront.net/
- USO http://www.uso.org/
- Cause http://www.cause-usa.org
- Independence Fund http://www.independencefund.org/
- Hope for the Warriors http://www.hopeforthewarriors.org/
- Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund http://fallenheroesfund.org/
I know what you are all thinking. Wow this list is great, I wish I could give something. Don't think you can give? Think for a second. We all have something we waste money on if not everyday at least a few days out of the month. Some of us (points finger at self) spend $5 on a cup of coffee. Some of us (points at hubby) spend money on energy drinks and computer gear that can wait. Some of us (points fingers at hubby and self) spend money on toys that will probably end up in the yard sale next spring. We all have something that we can give, we just have to figure out how we can sacrifice to make that giving possible.
November was the month to be thankful. Make December the month to think about your blessings and pay them forward. Any of these non-profits would be happy to take your $5 that you would have spent on that coffee. It may just be $5 to you, but for those of us in the non-profit community that $5 adds up quickly. That $5 can be turned into a blessing for a Hero's family.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Where Are You Christmas?
Over the past few days this song has played again and again in my head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSMjgNMdzEI I just can't seem to find my Christmas this year. I see everyone decorating and I am just not feeling it. Then I realized it's been years since we've had a real Christmas and where I felt my holiday spirit.
2009, that was the last real Christmas we had together. That was the last Christmas that we were all together and thrilled at just the idea of Santa and reading the story of Christmas together. I pulled out all three of my trees and we put up lights out around the house. The girls and I made cookies and shared them with our friends. We mailed off care packages, sang carols and just really made the holidays fun.
2010 had us separated half a world apart with Chaz in Afghanistan. That pretty much speaks for itself. The girls and I still had fun, but we really missed Daddy.
2011 and 2012 were both controlled by the Army's WTB. We were told when we could go and when we had to be back. We really never were able to enjoy any of the holiday season in those 24 months.I will admit we really just gave up, sucked it up and made it the best we could for the girls. We were blessed by many non-profits who made sure our holidays had a lot of smiles in them. However the stress of healing, the daily care and the uncertainty of our future just weighed us down.
I realized the other day it's not just Christmas. I really don't care for any holidays anymore. I will even go as far as to say I think they are pointless. One friend told me that she truly hated that this journey has desensitized me to holiday joys. When we were in the Army, I didn't feel this way, but the 24 months of recovery, illness and WTB just wore me out to the point where a day is just a day.
On Easter, Mother's Day and every other day, Chaz needed a PICC line something or wound care. Something was wrong with this adaptive equipment. My list could go on and on. It didn't matter what day it was things had to be done. Days just became days with appointments, daily care and WTB policies.
I can't tell you how many times we didn't even know it was a holiday until someone told us. The only difference now is it is my normal and I accepted it. I guarantee you I have put mail out in the box on every federal holiday since Chaz retired and we came been home. My co-workers have to remind me of the holidays and that "we have the day off." Here's the harsh reality, caregivers never get a day off unless we run away alone. A lot of work has to be done in advance so we can run away, so we choose those times wisely.
The only days I ever protected were the girls' birthdays. Nothing else really didn't matter. Their birthdays are their special days and I was going to make sure of that no matter what was going on and no matter how tired I was. But holidays, I feel like we did the minimum. Christmas was the one that really beat me up. The girls wanted to be home and stay home in 2011 and 2012 and we could not give them that. They would get gifts that they had to leave behind because we did not have room in Maryland for any excess. I know that it really is trivial, but it mattered to them.
10 months since retirement and I am still in the same mode. I could care less about holidays. The girls' birthdays are still the most important days on our calendar, but I am going to change my attitude today!! The silver lining in all of this is our family was able to be together and that was a very important lesson that we have been able to teach our girls. It is time to take that lesson and combine it with the Christmas of 2009.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. Today I am going to start to make that day great. Then Friday (sorry, I cannot decorate for Christmas until I have eaten my turkey) I am bringing our Christmas down from the attic. ALL OF IT!! That hasn't been done since 2009. My hubby asked me yesterday if I was going to go back to 2009 this year. Something tells me, he needs a little Christmas too.
It's time to hang some lights on this house and get into the holiday spirit. Now how in the world am I going to hang Christmas lights on this house alone? Well now, that's a great question. I'll figure that out one day when it's not 20-30 degrees outside. Our family can handle the inside. I am actually really looking forward to Friday and opening all those boxes. I have a feeling my Christmas was packed away in 2009. It's time to bring it out and celebrate the true gift of the Christmas.
2009, that was the last real Christmas we had together. That was the last Christmas that we were all together and thrilled at just the idea of Santa and reading the story of Christmas together. I pulled out all three of my trees and we put up lights out around the house. The girls and I made cookies and shared them with our friends. We mailed off care packages, sang carols and just really made the holidays fun.
2010 had us separated half a world apart with Chaz in Afghanistan. That pretty much speaks for itself. The girls and I still had fun, but we really missed Daddy.
2011 and 2012 were both controlled by the Army's WTB. We were told when we could go and when we had to be back. We really never were able to enjoy any of the holiday season in those 24 months.I will admit we really just gave up, sucked it up and made it the best we could for the girls. We were blessed by many non-profits who made sure our holidays had a lot of smiles in them. However the stress of healing, the daily care and the uncertainty of our future just weighed us down.
I realized the other day it's not just Christmas. I really don't care for any holidays anymore. I will even go as far as to say I think they are pointless. One friend told me that she truly hated that this journey has desensitized me to holiday joys. When we were in the Army, I didn't feel this way, but the 24 months of recovery, illness and WTB just wore me out to the point where a day is just a day.
On Easter, Mother's Day and every other day, Chaz needed a PICC line something or wound care. Something was wrong with this adaptive equipment. My list could go on and on. It didn't matter what day it was things had to be done. Days just became days with appointments, daily care and WTB policies.
I can't tell you how many times we didn't even know it was a holiday until someone told us. The only difference now is it is my normal and I accepted it. I guarantee you I have put mail out in the box on every federal holiday since Chaz retired and we came been home. My co-workers have to remind me of the holidays and that "we have the day off." Here's the harsh reality, caregivers never get a day off unless we run away alone. A lot of work has to be done in advance so we can run away, so we choose those times wisely.
The only days I ever protected were the girls' birthdays. Nothing else really didn't matter. Their birthdays are their special days and I was going to make sure of that no matter what was going on and no matter how tired I was. But holidays, I feel like we did the minimum. Christmas was the one that really beat me up. The girls wanted to be home and stay home in 2011 and 2012 and we could not give them that. They would get gifts that they had to leave behind because we did not have room in Maryland for any excess. I know that it really is trivial, but it mattered to them.
10 months since retirement and I am still in the same mode. I could care less about holidays. The girls' birthdays are still the most important days on our calendar, but I am going to change my attitude today!! The silver lining in all of this is our family was able to be together and that was a very important lesson that we have been able to teach our girls. It is time to take that lesson and combine it with the Christmas of 2009.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. Today I am going to start to make that day great. Then Friday (sorry, I cannot decorate for Christmas until I have eaten my turkey) I am bringing our Christmas down from the attic. ALL OF IT!! That hasn't been done since 2009. My hubby asked me yesterday if I was going to go back to 2009 this year. Something tells me, he needs a little Christmas too.
It's time to hang some lights on this house and get into the holiday spirit. Now how in the world am I going to hang Christmas lights on this house alone? Well now, that's a great question. I'll figure that out one day when it's not 20-30 degrees outside. Our family can handle the inside. I am actually really looking forward to Friday and opening all those boxes. I have a feeling my Christmas was packed away in 2009. It's time to bring it out and celebrate the true gift of the Christmas.
Friday, November 8, 2013
To the Lady in the Airport Who Gave Me the Stink Eye.....
Last month we were traveling a lot. Now that I actually have time to write I am going to start sharing with you a few of our misadventures.....
Chaz and I had landed in the Nashville airport. Since it was a short trip, we each only needed a carry-on. Of course I also had a oversized purse to hold all the important things. You know wallet, chap stick, prosthetic spray bottle, all the things every one has in the purse, right?!
So here we are.....Chaz is wheeling. I have a carry-on suitcase in each hand and a heavy purse on my shoulder. I am trying to keep up with Chaz the entire time. (Just a side bar, when we travel I don't have to exercise, because chasing after him takes care of that.) This lady was walking next to us during this time. I am sure we passed her ay some point, but we ended up meeting on the curb. What happened next has really stuck with me.
My Mom pulled up in our car to pick us up. She had my car so Chaz had to stand up and walk to get in. I was busy loading the car and bam Chaz's leg locks and he falls. Do I rush over? No. Do I yell over at him? No. I observed to make sure he was ok and let him do his thing. At this time I feel eyes on me. You all know exactly what I am talking about. I, of course, locked eyes with this woman who proceeded to give me the stink eye. Now at this very moment, she was closer to Chaz than I was. But she was too busy formulating judgements and giving me the stink eye to care. Oh yes, yes I caught her glance and I just smiled the biggest smile at her. And of course she did the Hrmph noise, crossed her arms and looked away. Chaz saw it too and made a laugh about it later. He even asked if I felt the daggers she was throwing from her eyes.
Here's why that has stuck with me. The average civilian is ignorant to the life Chaz and I and so many others live. The average civilian does not understand that when my hubby falls I will not help him unless he gives me the signal or asks. The average civilian sees a man with artificial legs or sees a man sitting in a wheelchair and immediately jumps to sadness. They think aww that poor guy. The average civilian is full of pity and sorrow. Then when they put two and two together and realize we are together they immediately think I must be the beck and call girl. The average civilian doesn't look at me as a wife or partner in this marriage they see me at the constant attendant. I must drop everything and stand on top of Chaz at all times as if he is incapable of doing anything for himself.
My hubby led men into battle. My hubby saved lives. My hubby is a Hero and I will treat him like nothing else.
My hubby is an independent and stubborn as I am. My hubby is a proud man. He wants to do as much as he can on his own. What he can do on his own without assistance is now horribly limited and I will not take any of that away from him.
So no, if he falls, I will not rush over. Chaz and I are so wired together now that I know what he needs and when he needs it. Some might hate that, but I love the connection I have with my hubby. I love being able to read his mind. (Sometimes it does drive him crazy. Except with food, he loves it when I cook what he thinking about.) If he needs me, he lets me know. Many just do not understand what this life is like and that's totally ok. Our life would be a little better with fewer stink eyes in it. Unfortunately stink eyes come with this life that God has chosen Chaz and I for and we are ok with that.
Today I ask average civilians to please learn this lesson from stink-eye. Please know that sometimes things are not always what they seem. Sometimes Heroes fall down and they don't always need help getting back up. Those who love them the most do not need your evil stares and dagger eyes to let us know that you do not approve of our actions. We have enough stress in our lives that we don't need to add the extra judgmental incidents to it. Trust me we have all accumulated enough. If you are truly that concerned about the person then please just ask if you can help. It really is that easy.
Chaz and I had landed in the Nashville airport. Since it was a short trip, we each only needed a carry-on. Of course I also had a oversized purse to hold all the important things. You know wallet, chap stick, prosthetic spray bottle, all the things every one has in the purse, right?!
So here we are.....Chaz is wheeling. I have a carry-on suitcase in each hand and a heavy purse on my shoulder. I am trying to keep up with Chaz the entire time. (Just a side bar, when we travel I don't have to exercise, because chasing after him takes care of that.) This lady was walking next to us during this time. I am sure we passed her ay some point, but we ended up meeting on the curb. What happened next has really stuck with me.
My Mom pulled up in our car to pick us up. She had my car so Chaz had to stand up and walk to get in. I was busy loading the car and bam Chaz's leg locks and he falls. Do I rush over? No. Do I yell over at him? No. I observed to make sure he was ok and let him do his thing. At this time I feel eyes on me. You all know exactly what I am talking about. I, of course, locked eyes with this woman who proceeded to give me the stink eye. Now at this very moment, she was closer to Chaz than I was. But she was too busy formulating judgements and giving me the stink eye to care. Oh yes, yes I caught her glance and I just smiled the biggest smile at her. And of course she did the Hrmph noise, crossed her arms and looked away. Chaz saw it too and made a laugh about it later. He even asked if I felt the daggers she was throwing from her eyes.
Here's why that has stuck with me. The average civilian is ignorant to the life Chaz and I and so many others live. The average civilian does not understand that when my hubby falls I will not help him unless he gives me the signal or asks. The average civilian sees a man with artificial legs or sees a man sitting in a wheelchair and immediately jumps to sadness. They think aww that poor guy. The average civilian is full of pity and sorrow. Then when they put two and two together and realize we are together they immediately think I must be the beck and call girl. The average civilian doesn't look at me as a wife or partner in this marriage they see me at the constant attendant. I must drop everything and stand on top of Chaz at all times as if he is incapable of doing anything for himself.
My hubby led men into battle. My hubby saved lives. My hubby is a Hero and I will treat him like nothing else.
My hubby is an independent and stubborn as I am. My hubby is a proud man. He wants to do as much as he can on his own. What he can do on his own without assistance is now horribly limited and I will not take any of that away from him.
So no, if he falls, I will not rush over. Chaz and I are so wired together now that I know what he needs and when he needs it. Some might hate that, but I love the connection I have with my hubby. I love being able to read his mind. (Sometimes it does drive him crazy. Except with food, he loves it when I cook what he thinking about.) If he needs me, he lets me know. Many just do not understand what this life is like and that's totally ok. Our life would be a little better with fewer stink eyes in it. Unfortunately stink eyes come with this life that God has chosen Chaz and I for and we are ok with that.
Today I ask average civilians to please learn this lesson from stink-eye. Please know that sometimes things are not always what they seem. Sometimes Heroes fall down and they don't always need help getting back up. Those who love them the most do not need your evil stares and dagger eyes to let us know that you do not approve of our actions. We have enough stress in our lives that we don't need to add the extra judgmental incidents to it. Trust me we have all accumulated enough. If you are truly that concerned about the person then please just ask if you can help. It really is that easy.
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