Friday, February 22, 2013

Tiaras Make It All Better....

One the best things that has resulted from Chaz's injuries are the bonds our family has now. We have really gotten to know our children. We can just look at them and see that things are brewing. Deryn is ten and is going into that pre-teen stuff right now. Which is not fun at all. The past few days you could tell things were just bothering her. Everything made her mad. Deryn is like Chaz in the way she can let things go, but recently she has not been able to do that.

Last night Chaz took Ryann to her dance class. When Deryn came home from the neighbor's house, she sat in the recliner with me and we watched a little Dance Moms. (Seriously that show is so ridiculous, how can you not watch it? And to top it off those little girls are excellent dancers.) All the sudden, Deryn gets up and grabs the tiaras Nana sent the girls for Valentine's Day. She put one on my head and one on hers. She said, "Don't tiaras just make it all better?" I said yes and then said that I was fine before the tiara. She put her head down and then started to open up to me.

Deryn confessed that she misses our dog Arf, who passed away within a week of us coming home for good. She told me how sad she was for her friend who just had her grandfather pass away. She tole me that she was sad she picked out the wrong bat for softball and I promised to get her another one. Then what was really bothering her came out. She doesn't like the way people look at her Dad here in Clarksville. She said she sees the people. Some look at Dad like he's a hero, some feel sorry for him and some just are stupid. She confessed to me how she always knew which ones were soldiers. She said they have this look of fear when they look at Dad. She said she actually misses Maryland because people looked at her Dad the right way.

I asked, "What is the right way?" She said to look at him as a hero or just as a guy who has cool robot legs. Or they can look at him as just a guy. She went on to tell me she was worried about the soldiers who looked at Chaz with fear. She said that they have to be so afraid and they go anyway. She said what bothered her was the solider who looked at Chaz was just totally weirded out by it. She then went on to tell me how she wanted to mess with him, but knew it wasn't the right time. She said he needed to laugh. She then wanted to know why he did he look at Chaz that way.

I had to have the talk of how we cannot control how people react. Daddy is different in the eyes of the average person. Those who know and love him know that he is not different at all besides the fact he has different legs. Then I realized Deryn has joined Chaz and I in wanting to leave Clarksville. Chaz is an in your face reminder of what could happen. That can be taken in several different ways, but the reactions that are seen on faces when reality strikes make you want to run away and hide. So in other words, our new house can't be built fast enough. ;)

In all seriousness, this is our life and the stares are part of it. Deryn knows that we have to deal with whatever comes our way. The stares are just a part of the journey. We have to just suck it up and push through. However she is correct on one thing....."tiaras do make it all better."

1 comment:

  1. Deryn, the people of Warren County can't wait for you and your family to be here! I can't promise that there won't be people who won't look at your daddy right, but I can tell you that most people WILL look at him as a hero or as just a regular guy. You're a very perceptive girl, so I know you'll be able to help everyone understand and show them compassion as they learn. I hope your new house will be finished as soon as possible, and that you'll be very, very happy living in it and in Warren County!
    Love to all your family,
    Mrs. Nancy