Tuesday, January 22, 2013

January 22 Deja Vu

Two years ago today, my day started out just like any other day in my life before Chaz's injury. Then at 8am, a phone call sent my day and subsequently our lives down another path. I spent that day crying off and on. Shortly after that first call, I took out my contacts and didn't even attempt to put on makeup. Today should have been a day of celebration. Instead today mimicked January 22, 2011 in too many ways. 

We arrived home this past Sunday and after the excitement calmed down we realized our family dog, Arf, wasn't looking right. My Mom filled me in that he hadn't been acting like himself and had been seen by the vet on Friday. Arf had a follow up appointment yesterday and we found out his heart is failing. Of course, I cried upon hearing this news, but we decided to wait to tell the girls.

Well today was worse. At 7am, I was down stairs giving Arf his meds and he looked about the same. Then at 8am, he looked absolutely horrible. Then a few hours later, the girls noticed that Arf was on the decline and our day crashed as hard as it did two years ago. Out went the contacts and the makeup became an after thought.

Deryn was the reason we adopted Arf in 2003. She was just 9 months old and she wasn't leaving the store without Arf, who was just a few months younger. They have been the best of friends. Arf welcomed Deryn's little sister home from the hospital in 2005 with a little snip and Chaz helped straighten him out. Arf has been such a great addition to our little family. We have so many great family memories of him.

It has been so hard for us to be away from him when we were in DC. Luckily my mom stepped up to help us and Arf lived with her. When we came home Arf came home and when we left he went to Grandma's house. The last time we were home we told Arf that that is it and we'd be home soon. He was excited, you could just tell. But now I wonder if he was holding out to get us home to say good-bye to us.

Just like two years ago I held my babies today and had to talk to them about how life sometimes is just not fair. This time was a little easier because Daddy was here to help me. This time we had Daddy as proof that life is anything but fair, but our little family can get through anything together. You can imagine all the tears that have been shed today. I think I have been the worst by far. I just keep thinking about how lucky Chaz and I are to have these amazing little girls. They have been through so much. They are these little rock stars and we are so proud of them.

Our Arf is still with us right now, but the doctor says it's only a matter of time. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done for him. We have decided we are going to make him comfortable as possible and surround him with love. He is not currently in any pain and I just can't stand the thought of putting him down. I am praying God just puts him to rest for us.

We did make a promise to our girls today that Arf will make it to our new home one way or the other. When the time comes we will bury him on our new land so he always stays with us. We ask that you please pray for our little family during this difficult time. Arf has been with us for over 10 years. And as much as I hate to admit it, it seems that we are having a little January 22 deja vu.


  1. Know that I'm always praying!
    Psalms 70:1, 4-5 Make haste, O God, to deliver me; make haste to help me, O LORD. (4-5) Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified. But I am poor and needy: make haste unto me, O God: thou art my help and my deliverer; O LORD, make no tarrying.
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  2. The Lord will be with you always! I'll be here praying!
    Colossians 3:15-16 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
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  3. Continuing to pray so very hard!
    Ephesians 3:14-21 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
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