That Monday

Monday has come. Just like you, I have talked to many people about the tragedy that occurred on Friday. I cannot make anymore sense of it then anyone else. This is a time in life that I call a faith tester. This is the time that you can ask why, but you have to hold onto your faith and know there will be answer. I know how incredibly difficult that is, but I know God is trying to show us something. I just won't pretend that I have the answers.

Our Ryann is 7 and every time I look at her all I can think is what kind of Monster could look at the face of a child and slaughter them? Much less how could a person do this multiple times? What monster could crush the dreams of so many with reckless disregard?

I love being around children. They fill my heart with such hope and love. My brain simply cannot understand why this would happen. So I have stopped asking.


As soon as the location flashed across the screen, I knew our friends from Help Our Military Heroes (who have become like family) were somehow involved. Yes I was right. One of their family members had children in that school. The kids ages 4 and 7 and made it out alive. My stomach fell when I read my text message. I know those children are safe, but what they went through is unimaginable.

I told my mom, and Demetria and I talked about walking into our high school the Monday after our three friends had been killed in a car wreck. I remember vividly walking into the classrooms I shared with them. I remembered I had to leave the classroom because I could not take it. I missed them so much and I was so angry that they had to leave us so soon. Now fast forward 18 years and I cannot comprehend how it would feel to walk into that school and have that feeling multiplied times nine. I cannot think about what it would be like to walk back into a place where your life was in so much jeopardy. I simply cannot imagine what the people of Connecticut are going through right now.

But here's what I can do. I will not get to know the person behind all of this. He had a motive and I believe it was to be remembered. I am so sorry, but I will not remember him. I will not even learn his name, no matter how many times the news shares it with us. Instead I will remember those beautiful children. I will remember the teachers, staff and principal who define the word hero by their courageous actions.

I searched for an article that did not mention the gunman's name, but told us more about the lives he took from us. I ask that you too refuse to learn his name and instead learn about those he took from us.

http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/national/sandy-hook-victims-names-list-complete-list-of-newtown-connecticut-school-shooting-victims