I have been asked many times over the course of this week, "What are your plans for a home?" So I thought I would answer a few of those questions.
Where are we now? Currently we are in MD. Chaz is still being seen at Bethesda for his medical treatment. The WTB (Warrior Transition Brigade) has provided us with an apartment in Silver Spring. It is very spacious and is located in a great part of town.
Do we own a home? Yes, we do own a home in Clarksville, TN. We have owned it for 4 years now. Currently my mom, sister and friends are taking care of it while we are gone. Since the WTB gave a free place to live while Chaz is being treated, we are able to continue making our mortgage payments. We need a place to go home to when we go back so we will keep our current home until the new one is built.
What's wrong with our current home? The biggest problem is the stairs. Chaz needs a one story home. When we are home he goes upstairs at the end of the day and stays on that level. Then he comes down at the beginning of the day and stays down stairs for the day. Basically he is stuck on that level, he can get up and down the stairs, but life would be so much easier for him if the stairs were gone. Right now getting up and down those stairs is exhausting for him. He does it, because he wants to be with us all day long. He refuses to sleep on the couch or have me make the dining room into a bedroom for him. He says he "will be with his girls and that's that."
Our 2.5 bathrooms do not fit his needs at all. We have a shower bench in the shower for him to slide in and out of. He has to put his legs on to reach the sink to brush his teeth or shave. He truly gets a big workout tying to get to the toliet. The doors are not wide enough for him to wheel in. So I get the shower bench out of the shower and place it so he can slide from the wheelchair to bench then bench to toilet and then back. The girls bathroom is a totally no-go. He can't even get in the door. He can only wheel in halfway in the halfbath that is downstairs. When we have company, he has me distract them or get them outside so he can go to the bathroom or he holds it.
He basically can't do anything in our kitchen without help. The pantry door isn't wide enough for him to wheel into so he has to reach and if he can't get it then he has to yell for one of us. You cannot have the fridge, pantry, oven or dishwasher door open in the kitchen while Chaz is in there because then he can't get through the kitchen. The cabinets are eitehr too high or too low for him. He cannot reach the microwave, stove or sink. He is very stubborn and makes the best our of it, but Lord have mercy if he drops something.
We have dreadful transition pieces going into our kitchen from both directions. Which were hand crafted and I loved them until Chaz fell. The one in the dining room was the cause for Chaz's horrible fall. When he fell there was not enough space for him to flip himself over so I had to help him flip over so he could sit up and get back into his chair.
He cannot wheel out to the back yard right now because of the step down. He can go our front thanks to CSM St Louis contacting the VA and getting a ramp put in. If it wasn't for him we'd probably have thrown down a piece of plywood and make a redneck ramp. Oh yes we were going there, but then St Louis took over.
We cannot park in our garage and enter our house from there because we have steps into the kitchen. The garage is not wide enough to open the doors and have Chaz get around them. We have to stop in front of the garage and let Chaz out. Then I pull the car in and do whatever else needs to be done. There is no way we can park our van in our garage and use the ramp in the van for Chaz. The van will have to sit in the driveway. Which is truely not a big deal. I am a brat I like to park in the garage. I also like to spoil my hubby. (Can you tell?)
This is way more than you want to know, but it is the truth. Our apartment here in MD is way more handicap friendly then our home in TN. Now we need to make a home that will make Chaz feel welcome and at home. He needs to be able to do whatever he wants in his own home, especially go to the freaking bathroom alone, without help and have his privacy. To me he is almost a prisoner in our home. But we are so optimistic we just look at our home as another hiccup on our road to our happily ever after. We love that house, but it no longer fits our needs. It is time to pass those keys to a new family who can love that house like we used to!
What have we done so far? We have applied and been approved for our VA housing grant. We have met with our TN-VA advisor and he is super nice and helpful. We have looked at land online, but we haven't had a chance to do anything else and being in MD is not helping this situation. We put in an application with Home for Our Troops and have yet to hear anything back. We were nominated for an Extreme Home Makeover, but once again haven't heard anything. Either of which would be a freaking outstanding easy button for us!
For those who don't know, I am a tax and financial advisor. So currently I am saving, saving, saving for the house. Chaz's bathroom alone costs $25,000 and that is for the base line requirements from the VA. I haven't even looked at the rest of the requirements yet. If we do not build everything to VA specifications then we will not get the grant which is $64,000. I flew back and forth during tax season to keep earning money for this house. I know it will be expensive. I am just trying to save at least 25% of the down payment. We have some equity in our current home, but I cannot rely on that for funding because I have not done a market analysis yet. I have no idea what profit we could possibly have in that home.
What is our dream? We want to push a freaking easy button!! Seriously I dream that Ty Pennington shows up and blesses us with a perfect home for Chaz. The only problem is we don't want to destroy our home. If we can we would like give our home to another family. I was the PTO President at the girls' school for two years. We have so many families there that could use that home. There's one family that I would love to give those keys to, but I do not know if they still live in the area. I would like to go to our principals and counselours and find out who needs a home. We have many families who could use a back yard to play in and the room to spread out in. I know our school administration would know exactly who we could bless.
We want to remain in Clarksville, but move closer to Nashville. So we will jump school zones. Chaz wants more land and space for our family to grow. Our girls need room to run. If you make our home into a one level on that property then we would not have a yard left. In addtion, it would ruin the property values for the rest of the neighborhood and I could not handle that guilt. The market is bad enough, our fellow homeowners do not need a home that will price them out of the market. We were planning to move before Chaz was injured, now we just have a different reason for moving.
I hope this answers any (and maybe even all) of your questions. If you want to also nominate us for an Extreme Home Makeover, you have our permission. If you see another opportunity that is similar and want to nominate us, go ahead. We truly appreciate every one of you and your support! We are so grateful that you all want us to succeed and that you want to help us push that easy button! THANK YOU!!
Chaz and I both feel like God will lead us. We have applied and now we're leaving it up to God. Whatever our path is he will put us there and guide us through. He has helped us so far and will not be abandoning us anytime soon. He knows our needs and will provide for us. We do ask that you continue that you still pray for our family.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Exciting news....
For once I just don't know where to start! We are so excited!! I don't know how to rank all of these because they are so exciting!!!! So I'll list them as they pop into my head!
We're really excited about Deryn's birthday on Tuesday. We are so ready to hit her with our awesome surprises. Hee, hee, hee!! Check out Team Allen on Tuesday. The first one is at 12pm EST/11am Central and the second one is at 4:30pm EST/3pm Central . Pics will appear shortly after. It's REALLY great, and I mean it!!
We were informed yesterday that it is official we are in the final chapter of all of this!!!! Chaz's X-rays came back and his bones stopped growing! This means no more surgeries on his legs! We were really worried because of his fall in TN, but he's all good!
Yesterday we also found out his last set of legs are on their way!!!!! They will make him 6 foot tall again and he'll have a bendable knee!! Once he gets them adjusted to his comfort he'll walk just like you and I! I am a little sad because they were supposed to be in today, but they didn't make it! :( But they are sure they'll be here tomorrow. Don't worry there will be pics!
The Medical Board has been started and Chaz just has to jump through all of those hoops. This will take awhile. Chaz will remain on Active Duty until all this is done. He'll have to go to a bunch of appointments and wait for the Army and VA boards to meet to decide his disability rating. They think this will take the longest out of all of this. Is anyone surprised?! I'm not!
Chaz still hasn't decided if he is saying on active duty or not. It is really a hard decision for him. I truly don't know which way he'll go. This is how I feel. I just want him to be happy. I don't care if he stays in or gets out. The girls and I will be beside him no matter what. He has to decided what he wants to do. I'd like to see him get his degree, but he can do that either way he goes. We did find out he will be medically retired which means we retain our insurance. That is super important. I have Epstein-Barr (chronic mono version) and both of our girls have asthma. We want to continue their care and not switch up. This is now a non-issue. If he stays in or if he retires we maintain the same level of care. Big relief here for me, but doesn't really help Chaz in his decision making.
Chaz is no longer on narcotics!!!!! He is only taking Tylenol and ibuprofen for his pain!! He will remain on pills for his nervous system, but the Oxy is gone!!!! We will keep his Oxy IR (instant release) for emergencies, but he longer needs the twice daily dose to get through the day. Woot-woot!!!
He still has to meet with his docs about his arm, but that will not effect any of the above. We should know more about the arm soon. As of today, it will remain fused. Chaz is tired of surgeries and fears he will lose the strength he has by having any more surgeries on his elbow. He has full use of his hand and he is happy with the position of the fusion. Once again this is his decision. I am with him on losing the strength. Also his elbow is in 7 pieces and is almost impossible to put back together. He needs a replacement. But that replacement will have limited range of motion and more than likely would not be able to bear as much weight as he can right now. In addition that replacement will wear out and once it wears out then his arm would have to be fused.
We will still remain in MD for quite a while longer. We still have a lot to do. But we are officially in the final phase!!!! We will go back to TN for Christmas, but there's a good chance we maybe going home for good, only time will tell. Can you believe Chaz was injured in January and here we are in September and we're in the final phase?! I have the most amazing hubby!!!!
We're really excited about Deryn's birthday on Tuesday. We are so ready to hit her with our awesome surprises. Hee, hee, hee!! Check out Team Allen on Tuesday. The first one is at 12pm EST/11am Central and the second one is at 4:30pm EST/3pm Central . Pics will appear shortly after. It's REALLY great, and I mean it!!
We were informed yesterday that it is official we are in the final chapter of all of this!!!! Chaz's X-rays came back and his bones stopped growing! This means no more surgeries on his legs! We were really worried because of his fall in TN, but he's all good!
Yesterday we also found out his last set of legs are on their way!!!!! They will make him 6 foot tall again and he'll have a bendable knee!! Once he gets them adjusted to his comfort he'll walk just like you and I! I am a little sad because they were supposed to be in today, but they didn't make it! :( But they are sure they'll be here tomorrow. Don't worry there will be pics!
The Medical Board has been started and Chaz just has to jump through all of those hoops. This will take awhile. Chaz will remain on Active Duty until all this is done. He'll have to go to a bunch of appointments and wait for the Army and VA boards to meet to decide his disability rating. They think this will take the longest out of all of this. Is anyone surprised?! I'm not!
Chaz still hasn't decided if he is saying on active duty or not. It is really a hard decision for him. I truly don't know which way he'll go. This is how I feel. I just want him to be happy. I don't care if he stays in or gets out. The girls and I will be beside him no matter what. He has to decided what he wants to do. I'd like to see him get his degree, but he can do that either way he goes. We did find out he will be medically retired which means we retain our insurance. That is super important. I have Epstein-Barr (chronic mono version) and both of our girls have asthma. We want to continue their care and not switch up. This is now a non-issue. If he stays in or if he retires we maintain the same level of care. Big relief here for me, but doesn't really help Chaz in his decision making.
Chaz is no longer on narcotics!!!!! He is only taking Tylenol and ibuprofen for his pain!! He will remain on pills for his nervous system, but the Oxy is gone!!!! We will keep his Oxy IR (instant release) for emergencies, but he longer needs the twice daily dose to get through the day. Woot-woot!!!
He still has to meet with his docs about his arm, but that will not effect any of the above. We should know more about the arm soon. As of today, it will remain fused. Chaz is tired of surgeries and fears he will lose the strength he has by having any more surgeries on his elbow. He has full use of his hand and he is happy with the position of the fusion. Once again this is his decision. I am with him on losing the strength. Also his elbow is in 7 pieces and is almost impossible to put back together. He needs a replacement. But that replacement will have limited range of motion and more than likely would not be able to bear as much weight as he can right now. In addition that replacement will wear out and once it wears out then his arm would have to be fused.
We will still remain in MD for quite a while longer. We still have a lot to do. But we are officially in the final phase!!!! We will go back to TN for Christmas, but there's a good chance we maybe going home for good, only time will tell. Can you believe Chaz was injured in January and here we are in September and we're in the final phase?! I have the most amazing hubby!!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Our first real day at Bethesda & the settling of reality for our Deryn
I am so glad that we left during the transition to the new hospital. That was one of the smartest decisions Chaz and I have made yet. We were able to recharge our internal batteries and get ready for more. I am pleased to admit our first day at Bethesda wasn't nearly as bad as I braced for.
I was ready for a crazy storm. Chaz got up to catch the shuttle for his 9am appointment, but he had been told the wrong departure time so he missed his shuttle. He had to cancel to that appointment and make it for 1:30 instead. So we got the girls up and ready and decided to just shoot to make it there by 11am for Capt Phipps vehicle presentation, stay for lunch and explore the hospital. By the time we were done it would be time for his appointment.
Before we could get out the door, Deryn, our almost 9 year old, had her first melt down of the day. She did not want to go anywhere but back to Tennessee. I told her she had to get dressed and that I was sorry she didn't like the situation. I told her to work on her cursive writing while I ran to the store and got Ryann some medicine for her stuffy nose. Chaz said she was fine and did her work while I was gone. But when I got back he was trying to correct some of her work and she flipped out and lost it. She wasn't going to be corrected right now. I said fine we'll do it when we get back. I think she was super tired and just didn't want to do anything. I explained to both girls that we were on a new adventure and that only Daddy had seen the new hospital and we needed to go check it out.
Overall everything was fine at Bethesda. Parking was pretty crappy, but I was ready for that. We got to see Capt Phipps' new training vehicles for the driving-rehab program. Just so you know this program is the only program like its kind in the entire Department of Defense. Capt Phipps is able to to give our warriors here an advantage. She's right here and more than happy to help them succeed. She is the perfect person for this job. She is caring and passionate. Now if we could wake up the DOD network and see how important this program is then she wouldn't be the only one, she would just be the first one! She is giving our soldiers some of their independence back. Her program is extremely important to the healing of our soldiers. We are so blessed to have her on Team Allen.
We walked around and explored the campus. If you go to the Team Allen pics you'll see my favorite signs of the day. "Here's your sign" is what I thought when I saw them. Although I don't know what they are, I really think there are great reasons for the signs. Chaz and I like to laugh and we had lots of laughs because of these signs and we just had to share. I hope they make you giggle too.
We went to Building 62, which turns out to be the central office for the Wounded. Everything we need is in that building, except for the medical care. The SFAC (Soldier Family Assistance Center) and WTB (Warrior Transition Brigade) are all in there. Chaz's company is now all on the same floor in the same area and you can easily get to all of them. I like organization, so this was a very good thing for me. On the face of it, it seems a lot better. People did not seem as stressed as they were before we left a month ago. I saw a lot more smiles. Thank goodness!
What I didn't like was there are hardly any handicap buttons for the doors. You know the big squares you push and the doors magically open. We had those everywhere at Walter Reed, now they are scarce. At Walter Reed families like us were everywhere, people hardly even looked at us when we walked by because we were just a part of the crowd. Yesterday we got a ton of "aww, you poor thing " stares, which by the way drives me absolutely freaking crazy! The hospital was very crowded and we were horribly outnumbered. I felt like cattle on the field. You were herded in every direction you went. Due to the construction going on, some elevators were open to construction crews only, hallways were taped up and signs were posted to help with directions. This caused the walking areas to be smaller and more crowded. My assessment is they were totally not ready and the move should have been delayed. I am not thrilled to have our babies and my hubby around so much heavy equipment. Deryn is allergic to dust, so I'm sure that will be an issue later.
Upside is they had staff everywhere to help us with the doors and to direct us. The mood there seems a lot less stressed. People seem a lot more confident. Confidence makes a lot of difference. I am sure that as time passes everything will get easier. We all have to get into our routines and then we'll rock it out.
The best part of the day was everyone stopping us to welcome us back. My favorite was the delightful lady who works at the front desk of the SFAC. She's a Team Allen supporter and I got a great hug from her. Then of course Capt Phipps and our friends at RideAway, our fellow wounded warriors, executive services and our medical teams. I truly love having people in our lives who are excited to see us succeed. We are so blessed to have so many awesome people in our lives.
We got lunch at Subway, Ryann's favorite, and then got Chaz to his first appointment back at Bethesda. While we were waiting for Daddy we ran down to the Red Cross and got a new game, some videos and art supplies. I found a great book on the food chain so we went back to the waiting room and had a science lesson on the food chain, predators and prey and producers and consumers. In addition we found an article on the oil spill's aftermath in Louisiana, so we talked about the environmental impact it had. We had just finished our lessons when he showed up. So it was perfect timing.
We went home and all crashed for thirty minutes and then we got to our reading comprehension and to correcting Deryn's cursive. Then we got to math. We got all the way through math and then we got a full on meltdown. So we sat and talked about it. She said she didn't want to home school and she didn't want to live in Maryland. She wanted her house and her friends. She wanted to know why couldn't doctors in Tennessee care for her Daddy. I hate to think she held that in all day. I think she got some of it out and then when we got back she let out the rest. The funny thing is Deryn doesn't really remember when Chaz went to Iraq.
Our awesome pediatrician can tell you that was a fun year. Ryann caught almost every funky baby disease possible and then we discovered Deryn's asthma. It was a rough year full of road trips and different doctors. So I sat De down and told her the story. I told her that we love her and her sister so much that Daddy and I (mostly me, because he was deployed) drove everywhere I had to to get her the best care possible. Most importantly we'd do it again and again. But right now it's Daddy's turn. I had to explain that Daddy is in the best place possible to receive care for his injuries. I reminded her that five years ago I drove countless days to get her and her sister the best care possible and now we had to do that for Daddy. I explained that she is a very important part of Daddy getting better and that we can't do it without her. I told her if she wanted to go to public school we would do that, if she thought that could make her happy. I told her we are open to ideas and are ready to listen. I explained to her that being a parent doesn't mean we have all of the answers. I told her Daddy and I are figuring this all out as we go. I also said you have had a lot of really happy days and only a few bad ones, so I think we're doing our jobs pretty well. She agreed and then cried it all out. God Bless her, it's hard to be almost 9. She was much better after that. Then I reminded her we start gymnastics the next day (today) and that her birthday is next week and we have some great surprises in store for her.
I am glad Deryn finally let it all out. All this back and forth is not fun, but it is necessary. I told her that when she was sick five years ago I did not think we'd ever get the answers. She was on so many prescriptions back then and now she only has two and occasionally has a flare up. We have come a long way. I told her that we are going to be through all of this soon but I just don't know how soon. I told her we have to work together to get through it all. In the meantime we are going to have a ton of fun while we're doing it.
We have not forced the girls to talk about any of this, we are just here when they are ready. I sat them down the day after Chaz was hurt and answered all of their questions. I also assured them I would not lie to or hide anything from them. I told them that if they have questions they were to come to me and then Daddy when he was better. I told them it was our job to answer the questions and that they shouldn't go to anyone else but us. You cannot force healing on anyone. You have to let it happen on its own time. We have listened when they want to talk and answered questions when they have had them. We will not lie to our girls, but we will also not inundate them with information. They will let us know what they need and we will be there for the meltdowns as well as the smiles. The battle of being the parents to small children is another fun part of this war. I am just so thankful to have such an awesome battle buddy to help me through this part of the war.
I was ready for a crazy storm. Chaz got up to catch the shuttle for his 9am appointment, but he had been told the wrong departure time so he missed his shuttle. He had to cancel to that appointment and make it for 1:30 instead. So we got the girls up and ready and decided to just shoot to make it there by 11am for Capt Phipps vehicle presentation, stay for lunch and explore the hospital. By the time we were done it would be time for his appointment.
Before we could get out the door, Deryn, our almost 9 year old, had her first melt down of the day. She did not want to go anywhere but back to Tennessee. I told her she had to get dressed and that I was sorry she didn't like the situation. I told her to work on her cursive writing while I ran to the store and got Ryann some medicine for her stuffy nose. Chaz said she was fine and did her work while I was gone. But when I got back he was trying to correct some of her work and she flipped out and lost it. She wasn't going to be corrected right now. I said fine we'll do it when we get back. I think she was super tired and just didn't want to do anything. I explained to both girls that we were on a new adventure and that only Daddy had seen the new hospital and we needed to go check it out.
Overall everything was fine at Bethesda. Parking was pretty crappy, but I was ready for that. We got to see Capt Phipps' new training vehicles for the driving-rehab program. Just so you know this program is the only program like its kind in the entire Department of Defense. Capt Phipps is able to to give our warriors here an advantage. She's right here and more than happy to help them succeed. She is the perfect person for this job. She is caring and passionate. Now if we could wake up the DOD network and see how important this program is then she wouldn't be the only one, she would just be the first one! She is giving our soldiers some of their independence back. Her program is extremely important to the healing of our soldiers. We are so blessed to have her on Team Allen.
We walked around and explored the campus. If you go to the Team Allen pics you'll see my favorite signs of the day. "Here's your sign" is what I thought when I saw them. Although I don't know what they are, I really think there are great reasons for the signs. Chaz and I like to laugh and we had lots of laughs because of these signs and we just had to share. I hope they make you giggle too.
We went to Building 62, which turns out to be the central office for the Wounded. Everything we need is in that building, except for the medical care. The SFAC (Soldier Family Assistance Center) and WTB (Warrior Transition Brigade) are all in there. Chaz's company is now all on the same floor in the same area and you can easily get to all of them. I like organization, so this was a very good thing for me. On the face of it, it seems a lot better. People did not seem as stressed as they were before we left a month ago. I saw a lot more smiles. Thank goodness!
What I didn't like was there are hardly any handicap buttons for the doors. You know the big squares you push and the doors magically open. We had those everywhere at Walter Reed, now they are scarce. At Walter Reed families like us were everywhere, people hardly even looked at us when we walked by because we were just a part of the crowd. Yesterday we got a ton of "aww, you poor thing " stares, which by the way drives me absolutely freaking crazy! The hospital was very crowded and we were horribly outnumbered. I felt like cattle on the field. You were herded in every direction you went. Due to the construction going on, some elevators were open to construction crews only, hallways were taped up and signs were posted to help with directions. This caused the walking areas to be smaller and more crowded. My assessment is they were totally not ready and the move should have been delayed. I am not thrilled to have our babies and my hubby around so much heavy equipment. Deryn is allergic to dust, so I'm sure that will be an issue later.
Upside is they had staff everywhere to help us with the doors and to direct us. The mood there seems a lot less stressed. People seem a lot more confident. Confidence makes a lot of difference. I am sure that as time passes everything will get easier. We all have to get into our routines and then we'll rock it out.
The best part of the day was everyone stopping us to welcome us back. My favorite was the delightful lady who works at the front desk of the SFAC. She's a Team Allen supporter and I got a great hug from her. Then of course Capt Phipps and our friends at RideAway, our fellow wounded warriors, executive services and our medical teams. I truly love having people in our lives who are excited to see us succeed. We are so blessed to have so many awesome people in our lives.
We got lunch at Subway, Ryann's favorite, and then got Chaz to his first appointment back at Bethesda. While we were waiting for Daddy we ran down to the Red Cross and got a new game, some videos and art supplies. I found a great book on the food chain so we went back to the waiting room and had a science lesson on the food chain, predators and prey and producers and consumers. In addition we found an article on the oil spill's aftermath in Louisiana, so we talked about the environmental impact it had. We had just finished our lessons when he showed up. So it was perfect timing.
We went home and all crashed for thirty minutes and then we got to our reading comprehension and to correcting Deryn's cursive. Then we got to math. We got all the way through math and then we got a full on meltdown. So we sat and talked about it. She said she didn't want to home school and she didn't want to live in Maryland. She wanted her house and her friends. She wanted to know why couldn't doctors in Tennessee care for her Daddy. I hate to think she held that in all day. I think she got some of it out and then when we got back she let out the rest. The funny thing is Deryn doesn't really remember when Chaz went to Iraq.
Our awesome pediatrician can tell you that was a fun year. Ryann caught almost every funky baby disease possible and then we discovered Deryn's asthma. It was a rough year full of road trips and different doctors. So I sat De down and told her the story. I told her that we love her and her sister so much that Daddy and I (mostly me, because he was deployed) drove everywhere I had to to get her the best care possible. Most importantly we'd do it again and again. But right now it's Daddy's turn. I had to explain that Daddy is in the best place possible to receive care for his injuries. I reminded her that five years ago I drove countless days to get her and her sister the best care possible and now we had to do that for Daddy. I explained that she is a very important part of Daddy getting better and that we can't do it without her. I told her if she wanted to go to public school we would do that, if she thought that could make her happy. I told her we are open to ideas and are ready to listen. I explained to her that being a parent doesn't mean we have all of the answers. I told her Daddy and I are figuring this all out as we go. I also said you have had a lot of really happy days and only a few bad ones, so I think we're doing our jobs pretty well. She agreed and then cried it all out. God Bless her, it's hard to be almost 9. She was much better after that. Then I reminded her we start gymnastics the next day (today) and that her birthday is next week and we have some great surprises in store for her.
I am glad Deryn finally let it all out. All this back and forth is not fun, but it is necessary. I told her that when she was sick five years ago I did not think we'd ever get the answers. She was on so many prescriptions back then and now she only has two and occasionally has a flare up. We have come a long way. I told her that we are going to be through all of this soon but I just don't know how soon. I told her we have to work together to get through it all. In the meantime we are going to have a ton of fun while we're doing it.
We have not forced the girls to talk about any of this, we are just here when they are ready. I sat them down the day after Chaz was hurt and answered all of their questions. I also assured them I would not lie to or hide anything from them. I told them that if they have questions they were to come to me and then Daddy when he was better. I told them it was our job to answer the questions and that they shouldn't go to anyone else but us. You cannot force healing on anyone. You have to let it happen on its own time. We have listened when they want to talk and answered questions when they have had them. We will not lie to our girls, but we will also not inundate them with information. They will let us know what they need and we will be there for the meltdowns as well as the smiles. The battle of being the parents to small children is another fun part of this war. I am just so thankful to have such an awesome battle buddy to help me through this part of the war.
Monday, September 12, 2011
And we're off.....again
Today we head back to Maryland to return Chaz to Bethesda (in case you missed it, Walter Reed merged into Bethesda). As of today I start my longest term away from Tennessee since college. I am just so thankful for all the adventures that lie ahead for us.
I am not making it up, I haven't been away from Tennessee this long since I was in college. Somehow the Army has kept Chaz here at Ft Campbell for all 13 years of his career. Yes I know that's weird, but it's true. Every time he requested to move us somewhere, they would deny it for deployments, except when they took him to Korea and I had to stay behind.
I am not complaining at all. I love Tennessee. My family moved here in 1982 and I've been here ever since, except for college. There are much worse places we could have been sent. Chaz and I wanted to go and travel but evidently the Army had other plans. When this is all said and done we will stay here in Clarksville. We have no reason to leave. We really love it here.
I have dreaded today, but now I am thankful it is here. I am ready to just get there now and move on with this chapter of our healing. This should be one of the final chapters. We are waiting on one last set of legs and the Army to decide what to do with Chaz. He wants to remain on Active Duty. Yes I know, he's my hero too! I am so proud of him for wanting to continue on. I think he will serve as a great example for others and he has a lot to give back. Can you imagine a better role model for these soldiers?
The Army has provided us with a very nice apartment in a very nice city. We have all sorts of things right at our finger tips. I am not crazy about living in a high rise apartment and parking in a parking garage, but things could be so much worse. I have just learned to suck it up and move on. But I do understand why people who live there are in such a grumpy mood all the time. Gees they are right on top of each other, literally. They don't have any space. I am glad we are doing all of this in chunks. I need to come back to our home and have some peace and quiet and space every now and again.
We do not know when we're be back home. However I will be in our home, with our tree for Christmas and I double dog dare the Army or Navy to stop me. I don't ask for much, but I want that for our family. We deserve it and only medical reasons can stop me.
I am ready to get back to DC/MD/VA because I have been working on some very exciting adventures. Our upcoming adventures and surprises mostly involve the girls. Yesterday was hard on Deryn. She doesn't want to leave her friends and who could blame her. She's 9 and this is all very hard to understand. Ryann told her last night, "We had lots of fun last time and Mommy and Daddy will make sure we have more." Deryn looked at me for validation and I assured her that Ryann was correct.
So today we'll rip the band aid off and jump on that plane. I am ready to get our schedule set and figured out and ready to discover what the Army has in store for us. I am also excited to see what other opportunities may come our way. I am also excited to see our new friends who live in that area. It's crazy that one month ago my TN friends and DC/MD/VA friends were in opposite places and now we're switching again. I am just so thankful that we have so many wonderful friends and I bet we'll make even more.
Many thanks again to Veterans Airlift Command for helping our family enjoy our vacation. If you haven't checked them out yet visit www.veteransairlift.org and see what they are doing for our wounded warrior families. We are so grateful for this amazing organization.
I am not making it up, I haven't been away from Tennessee this long since I was in college. Somehow the Army has kept Chaz here at Ft Campbell for all 13 years of his career. Yes I know that's weird, but it's true. Every time he requested to move us somewhere, they would deny it for deployments, except when they took him to Korea and I had to stay behind.
I am not complaining at all. I love Tennessee. My family moved here in 1982 and I've been here ever since, except for college. There are much worse places we could have been sent. Chaz and I wanted to go and travel but evidently the Army had other plans. When this is all said and done we will stay here in Clarksville. We have no reason to leave. We really love it here.
I have dreaded today, but now I am thankful it is here. I am ready to just get there now and move on with this chapter of our healing. This should be one of the final chapters. We are waiting on one last set of legs and the Army to decide what to do with Chaz. He wants to remain on Active Duty. Yes I know, he's my hero too! I am so proud of him for wanting to continue on. I think he will serve as a great example for others and he has a lot to give back. Can you imagine a better role model for these soldiers?
The Army has provided us with a very nice apartment in a very nice city. We have all sorts of things right at our finger tips. I am not crazy about living in a high rise apartment and parking in a parking garage, but things could be so much worse. I have just learned to suck it up and move on. But I do understand why people who live there are in such a grumpy mood all the time. Gees they are right on top of each other, literally. They don't have any space. I am glad we are doing all of this in chunks. I need to come back to our home and have some peace and quiet and space every now and again.
We do not know when we're be back home. However I will be in our home, with our tree for Christmas and I double dog dare the Army or Navy to stop me. I don't ask for much, but I want that for our family. We deserve it and only medical reasons can stop me.
I am ready to get back to DC/MD/VA because I have been working on some very exciting adventures. Our upcoming adventures and surprises mostly involve the girls. Yesterday was hard on Deryn. She doesn't want to leave her friends and who could blame her. She's 9 and this is all very hard to understand. Ryann told her last night, "We had lots of fun last time and Mommy and Daddy will make sure we have more." Deryn looked at me for validation and I assured her that Ryann was correct.
So today we'll rip the band aid off and jump on that plane. I am ready to get our schedule set and figured out and ready to discover what the Army has in store for us. I am also excited to see what other opportunities may come our way. I am also excited to see our new friends who live in that area. It's crazy that one month ago my TN friends and DC/MD/VA friends were in opposite places and now we're switching again. I am just so thankful that we have so many wonderful friends and I bet we'll make even more.
Many thanks again to Veterans Airlift Command for helping our family enjoy our vacation. If you haven't checked them out yet visit www.veteransairlift.org and see what they are doing for our wounded warrior families. We are so grateful for this amazing organization.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 years later......
To me it is just crazy that 10 years have flown by. Like every other American I will never forget that day. Four years ago I got to add another reason not to forget today's date.
Ten years ago, Chaz and I had only been married for a few months. So I was just getting to know the military system. I also had taken a job as a manager at a Sonic here in Clarksville. Ten years ago no one here in Clarksville wanted a college education military spouse. I was a liability. They would not sink time and money into someone who might move away.
Ten years ago I woke up with a horrible sinus infection. So I made an appointment to go to the doctor after I sent Chaz off to work. I knew I needed help. As I write this, I am wondering if my allergies and sinuses are trying to recreate that same infection. I got moving and got ready to go and my sister calls to tell me someone crashed a plane into a building. I immediate thought oh those poor families what a horrible accident. Then I went on about my business to get to the doctor.
Ten years ago, I got in my car to go to post and as I got towards post I got into stand still traffic. I was rocking out to a CD and just thought, hmm, I wonder what's going on. I sat there rocking out for a few minutes. Then a solider got out of his car and I rolled down the window. He asked if I was listening to a CD and I said yes. He then said you need to turn on the radio we're at war. I looked at him and said excuse me. At that very same moment Little Birds (little attack helicopters) popped into the air. I turned on the radio and got caught up. That plane that I thought was an accident was intentional?! I immediately went to the thought of who the heck would do that?! How stupid are you to fly a plan into a building?! Then they hit the pentagon and fear really took over me. Chaz was on post and of course the phones were blacked out. Chaz's guys were second on the list to be called up if war broke out. Well here it was, so what was going to happen. Oh my goodness we have another Pearl Harbor, was my exact thought.
The Army sent people out to redirect traffic. If you were active duty or lived on post you got onto post, if not, you were out of there. You better have proof that you live on post too. You were not going for a commissary run anytime soon let me assure you. So I went to work. I was scheduled to work that day. When I walked in, everyone got quiet. I was the only infantry wife, and they all knew what was going on. I was fairly good friends with my boss at the time and I decompressed and cried to him. I then sucked it up and got to work.
When I got off work, I went to our apartment and waited. Chaz came in after dark for his TA-50 (everything the Army issues you for deployments). He told me what they knew, which was very little. He said we're up next if they call. If you don't hear from me for more than 48 hours I am gone. I will call as much as possible, just don't worry. (Yeah right, don't worry). And then he was gone.
We got very lucky that his guys didn't get called to leave. Instead they were ordered to protect Ft Campbell. Chaz's platoon got to cover the middle school. It was crazy that his duty station was the middle school. I can still remember all the constantino (totally misspelled) wire everywhere. I remember the first time I drove on post. I had a military ID card, but I had to have the car searched and answer a ton of questions before I could go see Chaz. I took tons of dinners, snacks and food to those guys over the course of the next few months. Just before Christmas, it calmed down a little and I got to have my hubby back a little bit more.
It's crazy to look back and see how the Army has changed so much. It's a totally different Army. Some of it is great and some of it is unrealistic. (I think that's a separate blog.)
Ten years later, my family has a direct and visible result from that catalyst. My Muslim friend was scared to come talk to me. She thought we would be mad at her because of Chaz's injuries. I am so thankful that a big hug and some reassuring words made her understand that we do not blame her, nor anyone of her religion for Chaz's injuries. Chaz was injured by someone who didn't want him and his soldiers there. More than likely it was a male who was a farm owner. We'll never know who it was. But we have peace knowing that God will take care of us and the persons who hurt our family and friends as well. Chaz and I do not blame anyone. Here's how we feel. If another country tried to invade our country and change our lives we'd all fight and plant bombs to protect our families. That is what is going on in Iraq and Afghanistan. They do not want to change and they are going to resist us. You cannot blame them for wanting to keep everything the same. The way they have lived has worked for so long. Why should they change? Why should we force them? We are the invaders and we are trying to change their lives and they don't want the change and truly don't understand it.
I still believe Chaz was injured for a purpose. I made my peace with it January 22nd. I grieved for his physical changes that day and knew God would give me the strength to carry on and that He would see us through and I haven't been wrong yet.
Fours years ago, 9-11 took on a additional meaning in our lives. My friend, Kristy lost her husband Dave in a helicopter accident that day. We have had the privilege to watch her and her boys heal and grow as Dave smiles down upon them. She has served as an example to me of hope and courage. Please also remember this family today as well.
I know it is hard to forgive the actions of 9/11, but you have to. God will help you, if you let him. You have to let it go. You cannot move on without forgiving. To err is human, to forgive is divine. To me the forgiveness is easy, but I will never forget, none of us will. Those men truly believed what they were doing was acceptable. To me they were brainwashed and truly were not capable of independent thought. We cannot go back and erase it so we must move forward.
Joel Osteen once said "If you notice your rear view mirror is very small in comparison to the windshield in front of you." To me this shows you should always be conscious of what's behind you, but to focus more on what's in front of you. Always remember those families, but carry on and don't let the enemy win. They win is you don't forgive them. They win if you are still afraid. They win if you allow them any control. The enemy is just like that playground bully. Once you stand up they will not challenge you again. Stand up! Live you life! Life is so great if you forgive and extinguish that fear. This is the only life we have, live everyday to the fullest and defeat that enemy by doing so. The Allen family will not let them win and neither should you.
We will always remember 9/11. God Bless those people in the buildings. God Bless the men and women who ran into the fire and the rubble to save them. God Bless their families. God Bless them all. I pray the Lord lifts them up and heals them like his is healing our family.
Ten years ago, Chaz and I had only been married for a few months. So I was just getting to know the military system. I also had taken a job as a manager at a Sonic here in Clarksville. Ten years ago no one here in Clarksville wanted a college education military spouse. I was a liability. They would not sink time and money into someone who might move away.
Ten years ago I woke up with a horrible sinus infection. So I made an appointment to go to the doctor after I sent Chaz off to work. I knew I needed help. As I write this, I am wondering if my allergies and sinuses are trying to recreate that same infection. I got moving and got ready to go and my sister calls to tell me someone crashed a plane into a building. I immediate thought oh those poor families what a horrible accident. Then I went on about my business to get to the doctor.
Ten years ago, I got in my car to go to post and as I got towards post I got into stand still traffic. I was rocking out to a CD and just thought, hmm, I wonder what's going on. I sat there rocking out for a few minutes. Then a solider got out of his car and I rolled down the window. He asked if I was listening to a CD and I said yes. He then said you need to turn on the radio we're at war. I looked at him and said excuse me. At that very same moment Little Birds (little attack helicopters) popped into the air. I turned on the radio and got caught up. That plane that I thought was an accident was intentional?! I immediately went to the thought of who the heck would do that?! How stupid are you to fly a plan into a building?! Then they hit the pentagon and fear really took over me. Chaz was on post and of course the phones were blacked out. Chaz's guys were second on the list to be called up if war broke out. Well here it was, so what was going to happen. Oh my goodness we have another Pearl Harbor, was my exact thought.
The Army sent people out to redirect traffic. If you were active duty or lived on post you got onto post, if not, you were out of there. You better have proof that you live on post too. You were not going for a commissary run anytime soon let me assure you. So I went to work. I was scheduled to work that day. When I walked in, everyone got quiet. I was the only infantry wife, and they all knew what was going on. I was fairly good friends with my boss at the time and I decompressed and cried to him. I then sucked it up and got to work.
When I got off work, I went to our apartment and waited. Chaz came in after dark for his TA-50 (everything the Army issues you for deployments). He told me what they knew, which was very little. He said we're up next if they call. If you don't hear from me for more than 48 hours I am gone. I will call as much as possible, just don't worry. (Yeah right, don't worry). And then he was gone.
We got very lucky that his guys didn't get called to leave. Instead they were ordered to protect Ft Campbell. Chaz's platoon got to cover the middle school. It was crazy that his duty station was the middle school. I can still remember all the constantino (totally misspelled) wire everywhere. I remember the first time I drove on post. I had a military ID card, but I had to have the car searched and answer a ton of questions before I could go see Chaz. I took tons of dinners, snacks and food to those guys over the course of the next few months. Just before Christmas, it calmed down a little and I got to have my hubby back a little bit more.
It's crazy to look back and see how the Army has changed so much. It's a totally different Army. Some of it is great and some of it is unrealistic. (I think that's a separate blog.)
Ten years later, my family has a direct and visible result from that catalyst. My Muslim friend was scared to come talk to me. She thought we would be mad at her because of Chaz's injuries. I am so thankful that a big hug and some reassuring words made her understand that we do not blame her, nor anyone of her religion for Chaz's injuries. Chaz was injured by someone who didn't want him and his soldiers there. More than likely it was a male who was a farm owner. We'll never know who it was. But we have peace knowing that God will take care of us and the persons who hurt our family and friends as well. Chaz and I do not blame anyone. Here's how we feel. If another country tried to invade our country and change our lives we'd all fight and plant bombs to protect our families. That is what is going on in Iraq and Afghanistan. They do not want to change and they are going to resist us. You cannot blame them for wanting to keep everything the same. The way they have lived has worked for so long. Why should they change? Why should we force them? We are the invaders and we are trying to change their lives and they don't want the change and truly don't understand it.
I still believe Chaz was injured for a purpose. I made my peace with it January 22nd. I grieved for his physical changes that day and knew God would give me the strength to carry on and that He would see us through and I haven't been wrong yet.
Fours years ago, 9-11 took on a additional meaning in our lives. My friend, Kristy lost her husband Dave in a helicopter accident that day. We have had the privilege to watch her and her boys heal and grow as Dave smiles down upon them. She has served as an example to me of hope and courage. Please also remember this family today as well.
I know it is hard to forgive the actions of 9/11, but you have to. God will help you, if you let him. You have to let it go. You cannot move on without forgiving. To err is human, to forgive is divine. To me the forgiveness is easy, but I will never forget, none of us will. Those men truly believed what they were doing was acceptable. To me they were brainwashed and truly were not capable of independent thought. We cannot go back and erase it so we must move forward.
Joel Osteen once said "If you notice your rear view mirror is very small in comparison to the windshield in front of you." To me this shows you should always be conscious of what's behind you, but to focus more on what's in front of you. Always remember those families, but carry on and don't let the enemy win. They win is you don't forgive them. They win if you are still afraid. They win if you allow them any control. The enemy is just like that playground bully. Once you stand up they will not challenge you again. Stand up! Live you life! Life is so great if you forgive and extinguish that fear. This is the only life we have, live everyday to the fullest and defeat that enemy by doing so. The Allen family will not let them win and neither should you.
We will always remember 9/11. God Bless those people in the buildings. God Bless the men and women who ran into the fire and the rubble to save them. God Bless their families. God Bless them all. I pray the Lord lifts them up and heals them like his is healing our family.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Let me explain something....
Our family has had some amazing opportunities to meet some truly amazing Americans. Some of these people have political affiliations. Let me stress this now, Chaz and I are not endorsing anyone, nor any party. We are so happy that our politicians are just being great Americans and just want to support our family and our fellow soldiers by inviting us all to enjoy some amazing experiences.
First let me explain that I am a fence rider. I agree with parts of both parties, which is why I think the party system should just go away. I do not participate in primaries, because I will not register with a party just to vote. To me its an unnecessary label that is now irrelevant. To me if you're called to serve, you're called to serve. It is your job to do what you are elected to do. If you need to know which way to vote, then you need to ask your constituents not your political party. We vote for you to vote for us. If you are in doubt, tell your staffers to start making phone calls and find out what you are supposed to do.
Let me explain that we are all Americans. I do not care which party you are a member of as long as you support my husband and his fellow soldiers. One day, just like other events in our country's past, the truth will come out and we'll find out why we're in these wars. I know God has a plan and one day we'll find out all of the details. I don't know why Chaz had to leave us so many times. I don't know why he had to find that IED and change our lives forever. But I have faith in God's plan and He will see us through. In my heart, he went to do his job and he was trying to help bring peace and hope to volatile countries. I am fully aware of what infantry soldiers do, but I like to make it sound a lot better for our children. So for our girls Daddy is a soldier and soldiers help make the world a better place. I like to keep them innocent as long as possible, call me over protective, I don't care. So if you are a Democrat or Republican or Independent and invite us to a super cool event, that is a once in a lifetime experience we'll be there.
Look at Senator Jack Reed from Rhode Island. I don't even know what party he is with. That man met us and invited us on a private tour of the Capitol and for lunch in the Senate dining room. We cannot vote for him, he has nothing to gain from doing what he did for us. He sincerely just wants to make sure our soldiers are taken care of. Senator Reed is a great American. He is an elected leader who is trying to serve his voters, but also reaches out to all Americans. His reasoning is simple, he cares and wants you to know he cares.
We have heard a lot of comments about our family meeting Obama. Let me tell you how we stand. That is our President. Our country elected him, therefore we will give him the respect he deserves as the leader of our nation. I'll tell you flat out we disagree with some of his opinions, but he has every right to them just like we have our right to ours. Bottom line is, if the President invites to an event you are going to go because he is our President and he invited you and that's pretty freaking cool. You may disagree with his political stance, but the man is a human and an American and is entitled to his opinion, just like you are entitled to yours.
True story: Chaz and I did not like either Obama or McCain for President, but those were our choices in the last election. We always take the girls with us to vote so they will grow up to be responsible Americans and go participate in and uphold the right that people fought and died for us to have. So the day before the election Chaz and I decided the only way to vote was to cancel each other out. So we flipped a coin I got McCain and he got Obama. We each took the girls and voted the way of the coin. Deryn questioned it. So it became a great teaching tool. It was our way of voicing our disdain for our choices for our leaders, but we still participated in the Democratic process. I knew that who ever got elected would be stalemated by Congress for the next four years so to us it didn't matter. Funny how my prediction came true.
I truly feel sorry for the office of the President. I was the PTO President for two years. It was very difficult to keep everyone happy. I was constanly making someone mad because I did things differently. I saw first hand how apathetic our citizens are. I had a rough time rallying people to come help clean up the campus and to help volunteer for events. I still live in that happy bubble where everyone helps in the community. I had to have it popped to see that the majority of people just want their kids in school and they won't spare the time to come read to a child or volunteer for Field Day. When reality set in it was very hard. I was just the PTO President of hundreds of students, teachers, staff and parents. I can only imagine the pressure and stress the President must carry. Gees look at our Presidents. Look at them when they go into office and then as the years pass. They are under so much stress and it is visible. Think about all the decisions they have to make. I love the movie the American President for that exact reason. That movie demonstrates that the President is still a human being and we need to remember that.
Our Presidents oversee so many more people than I ever will. America you need to realize the President is ineffective if our Congress doesn't do their jobs. I agree with Starbucks' CEO. He is withholding all donations to political factions until Congress gets off their butts and start working. Remember Bush didn't send us to war, Congress did it. The President didn't mess with your taxes, Congress did it. The President cannot pass laws, Congress does. Our founding fathers set it up that way. The power is in our Congress, but most Americans don't know that because we don't really teach government anymore. They see the President and point and blame them. Now does the President do most of the talking, well of course. We elect them to do so. The President's office may pass ideas onto Congress but if Congress sits on them then your leader is ineffective. It is time to wake up and see how your country works. It is not controlled by one man, it is in your hands if you'll stand up and care. Your ancestors fought and died for what you have today, so stand up and speak out and celebrate it.
Let me explain that you must remember politicians and celebrities are just people. They are people just like you and I. Some of them just have some really cool jobs. Chaz and I have a really simple rule for who we let in our lives. Here it is, treat us the way we treat you and we'll get along fine. We have friends who are Democrats, Republicans, Athesists, Muslims, homosexual and every religion, skin, hair and eye color and almost every nationality out there. We love them all. We may not agree with their choices, but they love and support our family. They lift us up when we need it and we'd do the same for them. The greatest thing about our country is that we all come from different backgrounds, but we're all Americans. Regardless of our opinions as long as we should just be there for each other.
Let me explain we do not believe in quid pro quo which is Latin for "what for what." We do not do things for you and expect you to do for us. We don't have time to keep tally marks to make sure we're even. We don't care. You need us to watch your kids so you can go somewhere, sure. Maybe one day you can watch ours, maybe not. You do not "owe" us. When Chaz was hurt I was told I needed to get after writing my thank you cards. One day I will, but I am fairly sure Emily Post doesn't have an entry on thank you card time for when your hubby loses legs via an IED. Heck when you get married, you get a year. I'll get to them one day. But this one time when it was brought up I finally responded by saying I am not sitting on my ass eating bon-bons, I am a little busy so the cards will have to wait. If your friends or whomever gives anything to our family right now and are expecting a thank you card anytime soon, then please don't give to us.
Most people see our politicians as being full of quid pro quos. Our experience with them has been a lot different. I am happy that we can show our girls that all these people on TV are people, real people. We are able to explain to them that opinions are everywhere and you are entitled to them. But at the end of the day we are all people just trying to do what we think is right. We can disagree but we can still come together and keep our lives great.
We like to pay things forward, we expect nothing. We hope that when we do for others they will then pay that forward to someone else some how. We are currently just enjoying the blessings God is giving us so we can bring lots of positive to our girls while healing and dealing with a kind of crappy situation. We want to heal as a family and not have them resent us or anyone else for this situation. By leading as an example for them, we can hopefully take the quid pro quos out of their lives and show them how amazing life in our country and the world is.
Let me also explain that we are not looking for a handout or hand up, we are not desitute, our lives have just been changed a little. If you want to help us great, we are thankful for all forms of help! But if you are trying to control us then you need to move on. Our lives are currently being control by the US Army and that's enough! I was blessed with a really big mouth and you do not need to speak for me, nor for my hubby. You cannot and will not use us to further your agenda. I am famous for saying "I am Switzerland" which is my way of saying I am neutral leave me out of it. We just want to enjoy life and have fun while we're healing, we do not need your restrictions, demands and expectations right now.
So let me explain that while we are on this journey we will seize every exciting opportunity possible that God puts in front of us. If it offends you that we go to the White House or to Congress or for anywhere for that matter, then please do not follow our family. We are celebrating the joys of what God is bringing to us and are trying to minimize the drama. Please see our journey for what it is. We are healing and having a lot of fun enjoying our blessings tha keep appreaing. Please do not read into it. We are not out for attention, political nor financial gain, or any of that silliness. We are just having fun enjoying once in a lifetime experiences. We are just trying to heal and trying to have a lot of fun as we are on our road to our new normal. All we want is from you it that you pray and think of our families and our fellow soldiers. We hope that we can bring you a smile or two as you watch us heal. Thank you all for your support!!!
First let me explain that I am a fence rider. I agree with parts of both parties, which is why I think the party system should just go away. I do not participate in primaries, because I will not register with a party just to vote. To me its an unnecessary label that is now irrelevant. To me if you're called to serve, you're called to serve. It is your job to do what you are elected to do. If you need to know which way to vote, then you need to ask your constituents not your political party. We vote for you to vote for us. If you are in doubt, tell your staffers to start making phone calls and find out what you are supposed to do.
Let me explain that we are all Americans. I do not care which party you are a member of as long as you support my husband and his fellow soldiers. One day, just like other events in our country's past, the truth will come out and we'll find out why we're in these wars. I know God has a plan and one day we'll find out all of the details. I don't know why Chaz had to leave us so many times. I don't know why he had to find that IED and change our lives forever. But I have faith in God's plan and He will see us through. In my heart, he went to do his job and he was trying to help bring peace and hope to volatile countries. I am fully aware of what infantry soldiers do, but I like to make it sound a lot better for our children. So for our girls Daddy is a soldier and soldiers help make the world a better place. I like to keep them innocent as long as possible, call me over protective, I don't care. So if you are a Democrat or Republican or Independent and invite us to a super cool event, that is a once in a lifetime experience we'll be there.
Look at Senator Jack Reed from Rhode Island. I don't even know what party he is with. That man met us and invited us on a private tour of the Capitol and for lunch in the Senate dining room. We cannot vote for him, he has nothing to gain from doing what he did for us. He sincerely just wants to make sure our soldiers are taken care of. Senator Reed is a great American. He is an elected leader who is trying to serve his voters, but also reaches out to all Americans. His reasoning is simple, he cares and wants you to know he cares.
We have heard a lot of comments about our family meeting Obama. Let me tell you how we stand. That is our President. Our country elected him, therefore we will give him the respect he deserves as the leader of our nation. I'll tell you flat out we disagree with some of his opinions, but he has every right to them just like we have our right to ours. Bottom line is, if the President invites to an event you are going to go because he is our President and he invited you and that's pretty freaking cool. You may disagree with his political stance, but the man is a human and an American and is entitled to his opinion, just like you are entitled to yours.
True story: Chaz and I did not like either Obama or McCain for President, but those were our choices in the last election. We always take the girls with us to vote so they will grow up to be responsible Americans and go participate in and uphold the right that people fought and died for us to have. So the day before the election Chaz and I decided the only way to vote was to cancel each other out. So we flipped a coin I got McCain and he got Obama. We each took the girls and voted the way of the coin. Deryn questioned it. So it became a great teaching tool. It was our way of voicing our disdain for our choices for our leaders, but we still participated in the Democratic process. I knew that who ever got elected would be stalemated by Congress for the next four years so to us it didn't matter. Funny how my prediction came true.
I truly feel sorry for the office of the President. I was the PTO President for two years. It was very difficult to keep everyone happy. I was constanly making someone mad because I did things differently. I saw first hand how apathetic our citizens are. I had a rough time rallying people to come help clean up the campus and to help volunteer for events. I still live in that happy bubble where everyone helps in the community. I had to have it popped to see that the majority of people just want their kids in school and they won't spare the time to come read to a child or volunteer for Field Day. When reality set in it was very hard. I was just the PTO President of hundreds of students, teachers, staff and parents. I can only imagine the pressure and stress the President must carry. Gees look at our Presidents. Look at them when they go into office and then as the years pass. They are under so much stress and it is visible. Think about all the decisions they have to make. I love the movie the American President for that exact reason. That movie demonstrates that the President is still a human being and we need to remember that.
Our Presidents oversee so many more people than I ever will. America you need to realize the President is ineffective if our Congress doesn't do their jobs. I agree with Starbucks' CEO. He is withholding all donations to political factions until Congress gets off their butts and start working. Remember Bush didn't send us to war, Congress did it. The President didn't mess with your taxes, Congress did it. The President cannot pass laws, Congress does. Our founding fathers set it up that way. The power is in our Congress, but most Americans don't know that because we don't really teach government anymore. They see the President and point and blame them. Now does the President do most of the talking, well of course. We elect them to do so. The President's office may pass ideas onto Congress but if Congress sits on them then your leader is ineffective. It is time to wake up and see how your country works. It is not controlled by one man, it is in your hands if you'll stand up and care. Your ancestors fought and died for what you have today, so stand up and speak out and celebrate it.
Let me explain that you must remember politicians and celebrities are just people. They are people just like you and I. Some of them just have some really cool jobs. Chaz and I have a really simple rule for who we let in our lives. Here it is, treat us the way we treat you and we'll get along fine. We have friends who are Democrats, Republicans, Athesists, Muslims, homosexual and every religion, skin, hair and eye color and almost every nationality out there. We love them all. We may not agree with their choices, but they love and support our family. They lift us up when we need it and we'd do the same for them. The greatest thing about our country is that we all come from different backgrounds, but we're all Americans. Regardless of our opinions as long as we should just be there for each other.
Let me explain we do not believe in quid pro quo which is Latin for "what for what." We do not do things for you and expect you to do for us. We don't have time to keep tally marks to make sure we're even. We don't care. You need us to watch your kids so you can go somewhere, sure. Maybe one day you can watch ours, maybe not. You do not "owe" us. When Chaz was hurt I was told I needed to get after writing my thank you cards. One day I will, but I am fairly sure Emily Post doesn't have an entry on thank you card time for when your hubby loses legs via an IED. Heck when you get married, you get a year. I'll get to them one day. But this one time when it was brought up I finally responded by saying I am not sitting on my ass eating bon-bons, I am a little busy so the cards will have to wait. If your friends or whomever gives anything to our family right now and are expecting a thank you card anytime soon, then please don't give to us.
Most people see our politicians as being full of quid pro quos. Our experience with them has been a lot different. I am happy that we can show our girls that all these people on TV are people, real people. We are able to explain to them that opinions are everywhere and you are entitled to them. But at the end of the day we are all people just trying to do what we think is right. We can disagree but we can still come together and keep our lives great.
We like to pay things forward, we expect nothing. We hope that when we do for others they will then pay that forward to someone else some how. We are currently just enjoying the blessings God is giving us so we can bring lots of positive to our girls while healing and dealing with a kind of crappy situation. We want to heal as a family and not have them resent us or anyone else for this situation. By leading as an example for them, we can hopefully take the quid pro quos out of their lives and show them how amazing life in our country and the world is.
Let me also explain that we are not looking for a handout or hand up, we are not desitute, our lives have just been changed a little. If you want to help us great, we are thankful for all forms of help! But if you are trying to control us then you need to move on. Our lives are currently being control by the US Army and that's enough! I was blessed with a really big mouth and you do not need to speak for me, nor for my hubby. You cannot and will not use us to further your agenda. I am famous for saying "I am Switzerland" which is my way of saying I am neutral leave me out of it. We just want to enjoy life and have fun while we're healing, we do not need your restrictions, demands and expectations right now.
So let me explain that while we are on this journey we will seize every exciting opportunity possible that God puts in front of us. If it offends you that we go to the White House or to Congress or for anywhere for that matter, then please do not follow our family. We are celebrating the joys of what God is bringing to us and are trying to minimize the drama. Please see our journey for what it is. We are healing and having a lot of fun enjoying our blessings tha keep appreaing. Please do not read into it. We are not out for attention, political nor financial gain, or any of that silliness. We are just having fun enjoying once in a lifetime experiences. We are just trying to heal and trying to have a lot of fun as we are on our road to our new normal. All we want is from you it that you pray and think of our families and our fellow soldiers. We hope that we can bring you a smile or two as you watch us heal. Thank you all for your support!!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Finally a September Post
I know, I know it's been forever, but I have a lot of really great excuses. I'll fill you on them and perhaps get a little forgiveness. It has been a non-stop crazy train of action (bad and good) in the Allen household.
The last time I wrote was August 30. It was such a sad day. We lost two bright lights in our community. The ripples were felt all over our town. August 31, I went to the funeral home to see our babysitter, Katie and check on her because I knew how bad she was hurting from the loss of her best friend. I did not go inside that morning, because I did not know Amy like I did Katie and funeral homes are my kryptonite. I knew I had to go back that evening and twice in one day is too much for anyone. I gave Katie some treats and a gigantic hug and then had to come home. I got to do the second yucky thing of the day, I had to say see-ya to my friend and her daughter, who has been our youngest's best friend since they were 2 years old.
I was dreading that moment, but at least we were home in TN for one more sleepover. Julia, Ry's little friend, broke my heart when she yelled at her mom, "I don't want to leave." I had to come back inside and grab the treasure box so we could bribe her into the car. It was great timing because I was able to runaway from the tears for a minute. And then they were gone to Georgia for their Daddy's next assignment. We'll see them again I am sure, but it's always hard to say see you later when you just don't know when later is.
That was behind me and I had to take care of some clients and take another tax class. Not sure if you are tracking, but I own and operate my own tax preparation business. This is my 10th year of preparing and 3rd year running my own company. I used to work for H&R Block, but my ethics compelled me to walk away from them. Over the course of this past week I have taken 10 classes, taken a 150 question final and don't even want to know how many practice tax returns. I am pleased to report I made a 95% and am now caught up on my CEUs (continuing education units) for the IRS. I am trying to get my Chartered Tax Professional license which will prepare me for the Enrolled Agent Exam with the IRS later on. Somehow with flying back and forth caring for Chaz and the girls I still completed 120 tax returns. While I have been home on leave, I've completed a few amendments, a non-profit return and an audit. You might think I'm crazy but I have a house to build. Momma's got to keep that money coming in! ;)
That Wednesday evening I had to go back to the funeral home and see my friend, Jane (who was the girls' principal) and give our condolences on the loss of her son. My friend, Angela, and I stood in line for over an hour just to see her. We decided it was officially the worst ride we have ever waited to get on. So many tears, so much sadness, I had to keep cracking jokes so I wouldn't transport myself back to 1994 and relive my own personal tragedies. I kept talking with the teenagers behind us. I was trying to keep one of them from passing out. God Bless her, she kept forgetting to breathe. So I kept reminding her. Then I got to Jane. I was so happy to see her smile at me (we've both kind of had a crappy year, you know). She told me that she was so happy to see me and that she had been worried about my family. Then she told me a funny story and we both started laughing. You can only imagine the looks we got. But she started it, and I am so glad it was me that got to make her laugh. It was my honor to put a smile on her face as we were sitting next to her baby boy who was in his coffin and was to be buried the next day. I will never forget that moment.
I hoped that with the first of the month coming in all good news would come with it. Unfortunately, I was wrong. We had our first fall. Bad news, it was a pretty bad one. Chaz's wheels on his chair hit the transition of the kitchen/dining room and his wheelchair dumped him out onto the floor. He hit knees (where they would be) first and since his right arm is fused, he only had his left to help brace himself. Gravity won and he did a face plant onto the tile floor in the kitchen. I (followed by our two cuties) immediately ran to his side. I helped him get flipped around and sat back up and I immediately gave him pain meds and warned him not to argue. Then I lifted him back into his chair. Let me tell you that guy is not light at all. But we picked up and moved on.
Just so you know he was not being careless or wreckless at all. I watched the whole thing go down. It was a freak accident. The front wheels turned sideways and hit that transition and he was propelled forward. The good news is we got the first one over with and now we have a real attack plan. Let's hope we can keep the accidents to a minimum, but we know there will be accidents, it's called life after all. Somewhere in the visit to TN, Chaz ran over my left foot. But according to the Dr I saw (who I call Doogie Howser) it isn't broken because I can walk on it. Yes, I am going to get a second opinion before we go back to MD. But it's another example of the accidents that go on in our world now.
Next up is the bad news crazy train, my best friend's grandfather dies. She has also had a rough year and this was another punch to the gut. She lives in KY and I can't get to her right now so I have been worried to death about her. I finally got to talk to her the other day and I feel a lot better now.
I wake up everyday telling myself its going to get better because I know it will. With every joy, there is sorrow and with every sorrow, there is joy. We have been so blessed and those blessings are still coming. We are just in a period of crazy sadness, hence the reference to the Crazy Train.
In the midst of all of this, The Crazy Train has also brought us joy too. We have been able to see some friends and hang out and catch up with them and that has been the best part of this trip. We are all sad that we have to leave TN on Monday. But we are also excited to go back to MD/DC/VA. We have amazing people there helping us plan some more amazing adventures. Time will fly by (like it already has) and we'll be back soon. Hopefully the Army will let us get on with our lives soon and we'll get back and start building our house and moving on with our new normal.
The last time I wrote was August 30. It was such a sad day. We lost two bright lights in our community. The ripples were felt all over our town. August 31, I went to the funeral home to see our babysitter, Katie and check on her because I knew how bad she was hurting from the loss of her best friend. I did not go inside that morning, because I did not know Amy like I did Katie and funeral homes are my kryptonite. I knew I had to go back that evening and twice in one day is too much for anyone. I gave Katie some treats and a gigantic hug and then had to come home. I got to do the second yucky thing of the day, I had to say see-ya to my friend and her daughter, who has been our youngest's best friend since they were 2 years old.
I was dreading that moment, but at least we were home in TN for one more sleepover. Julia, Ry's little friend, broke my heart when she yelled at her mom, "I don't want to leave." I had to come back inside and grab the treasure box so we could bribe her into the car. It was great timing because I was able to runaway from the tears for a minute. And then they were gone to Georgia for their Daddy's next assignment. We'll see them again I am sure, but it's always hard to say see you later when you just don't know when later is.
That was behind me and I had to take care of some clients and take another tax class. Not sure if you are tracking, but I own and operate my own tax preparation business. This is my 10th year of preparing and 3rd year running my own company. I used to work for H&R Block, but my ethics compelled me to walk away from them. Over the course of this past week I have taken 10 classes, taken a 150 question final and don't even want to know how many practice tax returns. I am pleased to report I made a 95% and am now caught up on my CEUs (continuing education units) for the IRS. I am trying to get my Chartered Tax Professional license which will prepare me for the Enrolled Agent Exam with the IRS later on. Somehow with flying back and forth caring for Chaz and the girls I still completed 120 tax returns. While I have been home on leave, I've completed a few amendments, a non-profit return and an audit. You might think I'm crazy but I have a house to build. Momma's got to keep that money coming in! ;)
That Wednesday evening I had to go back to the funeral home and see my friend, Jane (who was the girls' principal) and give our condolences on the loss of her son. My friend, Angela, and I stood in line for over an hour just to see her. We decided it was officially the worst ride we have ever waited to get on. So many tears, so much sadness, I had to keep cracking jokes so I wouldn't transport myself back to 1994 and relive my own personal tragedies. I kept talking with the teenagers behind us. I was trying to keep one of them from passing out. God Bless her, she kept forgetting to breathe. So I kept reminding her. Then I got to Jane. I was so happy to see her smile at me (we've both kind of had a crappy year, you know). She told me that she was so happy to see me and that she had been worried about my family. Then she told me a funny story and we both started laughing. You can only imagine the looks we got. But she started it, and I am so glad it was me that got to make her laugh. It was my honor to put a smile on her face as we were sitting next to her baby boy who was in his coffin and was to be buried the next day. I will never forget that moment.
I hoped that with the first of the month coming in all good news would come with it. Unfortunately, I was wrong. We had our first fall. Bad news, it was a pretty bad one. Chaz's wheels on his chair hit the transition of the kitchen/dining room and his wheelchair dumped him out onto the floor. He hit knees (where they would be) first and since his right arm is fused, he only had his left to help brace himself. Gravity won and he did a face plant onto the tile floor in the kitchen. I (followed by our two cuties) immediately ran to his side. I helped him get flipped around and sat back up and I immediately gave him pain meds and warned him not to argue. Then I lifted him back into his chair. Let me tell you that guy is not light at all. But we picked up and moved on.
Just so you know he was not being careless or wreckless at all. I watched the whole thing go down. It was a freak accident. The front wheels turned sideways and hit that transition and he was propelled forward. The good news is we got the first one over with and now we have a real attack plan. Let's hope we can keep the accidents to a minimum, but we know there will be accidents, it's called life after all. Somewhere in the visit to TN, Chaz ran over my left foot. But according to the Dr I saw (who I call Doogie Howser) it isn't broken because I can walk on it. Yes, I am going to get a second opinion before we go back to MD. But it's another example of the accidents that go on in our world now.
Next up is the bad news crazy train, my best friend's grandfather dies. She has also had a rough year and this was another punch to the gut. She lives in KY and I can't get to her right now so I have been worried to death about her. I finally got to talk to her the other day and I feel a lot better now.
I wake up everyday telling myself its going to get better because I know it will. With every joy, there is sorrow and with every sorrow, there is joy. We have been so blessed and those blessings are still coming. We are just in a period of crazy sadness, hence the reference to the Crazy Train.
In the midst of all of this, The Crazy Train has also brought us joy too. We have been able to see some friends and hang out and catch up with them and that has been the best part of this trip. We are all sad that we have to leave TN on Monday. But we are also excited to go back to MD/DC/VA. We have amazing people there helping us plan some more amazing adventures. Time will fly by (like it already has) and we'll be back soon. Hopefully the Army will let us get on with our lives soon and we'll get back and start building our house and moving on with our new normal.
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